A Few of My Favorite Things

A Few of My Favorite Things {Summer 2023}

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It’s been about a year since I published one of these roundups, so buckle up! There’s a lot to talk about. From the best missions books to the Duggar documentary to menopause, married sex, and toxic masculinity, it’s all in here. ~Elizabeth

BOOKS

Magic for Marigold by Lucy Maud Montgomery. I’ve loved Lucy Maud since I was in sixth grade reading Jane of Lantern Hill on a porch swing with V-8 in hand. I even dressed up as Montgomery for a middle school language arts assignment. But I’d never heard of Magic for Marigold until last year. It was absolutely delightful (and cheap on Kindle!). When I got to the last page, I was ready to begin all over again.

And I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I like to read Montgomery’s The Blue Castle about once a year. It’s also cheap on Kindle and well worth the read if you’ve never experienced it. (I love to read from my Kindle before bed; it doesn’t have the bright blue lights to keep me awake, and I don’t have to worry about a book falling on my face or about flipping the book from side to side as I read.)

Mere Motherhood by Cindy Rollins. This was perhaps my fourth time through the book and my first as a parent of adult children. Somehow Cindy speaks to the moms of littles, middles, and bigs all at the same time. Each successive reading has been better than the previous. I wrote more about Mere Motherhood here, so be sure to check that out if you’re interested in Cindy or her book(s).

Facing Fear: The Journey to Mature Courage in Risk and Persecution by Anna Hampton. I loved Anna’s work on both witness risk and dysfunctional family systems so much that when I found out she was writing a new book, I practically begged her for the opportunity to read an advance copy and endorse it. This book specifically focuses on facing the fear that comes with living in “witness danger,” but the Biblical teachings in Anna’s book will help and encourage any believer who deals with fear, even one who doesn’t live in danger or risk. Here’s my official endorsement of the book:

“Facing Fear is a book for all believers. Author Anna Hampton dives deeply into the Hebrew and Greek words for fear and courage, explores the neuroscience of fear and attachment and their implications for our relationship with God, and shows us a better way to respond to the grief and suffering of others through her compassionate treatment of the wife of Job. For those living in dangerous situations, she also offers a roadmap for assessing risk and discerning the next right step. Facing Fear offers comfort, courage, and a way forward even in the darkest of circumstances.”

The Missionary Mama’s Survival Guide: Compassionate Help for the Mothers of Cross-Cultural Workers by Tori R. Haverkamp. Tori was my first book coaching client to reach publication. And while I’m super excited for her and so proud of the book she has produced, her message also moved me on a deep heart level. Tori helped me understand how hard it was for my own mom to be separated from family (those grandkids!) for so long. Reading Tori’s book also inspired me to host more pieces from parents of missionaries at A Life Overseas; this has historically been a missing part of the missions conversation.

You can read an excerpt from my favorite chapter at A Life Overseas. Even though I’m only launching my kids to college and not the mission field, I still relate to what Tori writes in that excerpt. And I love that she’s not afraid to talk about menopause or midlife (more on menopause later!).

She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky. I don’t know how they did it, but the authors of The Great Sex Rescue have managed to create another gem for the modern church. Each page is packed with Biblical and thought-provoking commentary, along with data analysis (which the scientist in me loves). If you grew up in the church and sometimes wonder about purity teachings that, though well-intentioned, placed a disproportionately heavy burden on the backs of girls only, while giving boys a pass, you’ll be interested in this book – especially if you have daughters yourself.

Gregoire, Lindenbach, and Sawatsky produce the Bare Marriage podcast, which unpacks a lot of the ideas in both The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. Importantly, they discuss the fact that evangelical women have much higher rates of pain with sex. This can be traced back to the obligation sex message, the idea that women “owe” their husbands sex whenever they want it. But in the Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments, sex in marriage is painted as something that is mutually pleasurable. So if we’ve got pleasure for the husband and pain for the wife – or even pleasure for the husband but no pleasure for the wife – that is not how God designed sex in marriage to work. If this is your situation, please know there is help available. You can see a counselor, a physician, and/or find resources for female pleasure on Gregoire’s site.

REFLECTION & CONTEMPLATION

Aviva Romm (a midwife, herbalist, M.D., and expert on all things healthy living) on perfectionism.

Michele Phoenix (a trusted voice in the MK world) on faith, the church, and deconstruction.

Beth Moore (who needs no introduction) on being welcomed in the Anglican Church.

Cinema Therapy hosts a valuable conversation about Aragorn and healthy masculinity.

This article (if you can access it) reflects even more deeply on masculinity in society. I found the discussion to be nuanced and well-researched. There are a number of reasons masculinity is in crisis in our society, and we need solutions and role models other than the voices pushing toxic, abusive forms of masculinity.

Shiny Happy People, a documentary about IBLP and ATI, the homeschool group my husband Jonathan grew up in. We found it to be both highly accurate to the experience and empowering to survivors. WARNING: the subject matter begins dark and only gets darker throughout the episodes. So if you’re not in the mental space to watch it, please feel free to give it a pass.

If you are in a place to view the documentary, the Aftershow is also worth watching. There’s good news here: you don’t have to reject Jesus or even the church because of the false teachings in IBLP-adjacent groups. Gothard and other teachers twisted Scripture to control people, and it distorted many people’s view of God. But there’s hope – we can find God outside fundamentalism. Alex Harris was particularly well-spoken in the follow-up interview (yes, THAT Alex Harris – co-author of Do Hard Things and brother to I Kissed Dating Goodbye’s Joshua Harris). So if you watch nothing else, skip to the second segment at 23:15 and watch only the parts where Alex talks.

FULL DISCLOSURE: There was a time a few years ago when I wanted to reject everything I had ever believed. I wanted to be an atheist and was about to give up on God. Not believing in God seemed like a less painful option than believing in the God some people around me were preaching. I had to do some hard soul searching and some hard seeking after God, and eventually I found Him again.

What I know now is that I wasn’t chafing against Christ himself, but against Christian nationalism and other forms of cultural Christianity, such as those depicted in Shiny Happy People. It took me so long to untangle man-made religion from the God of the Bible.

I wanted to say this here in case any of my readers are in a dark place right now. It’s ok to be where you are. It’s ok if you find yourself rejecting human religion and desperately searching for something more. It’s ok to respond out of pain. It’s ok to not understand everything. It’s ok to take time in the valley — there’s no need to rush. What I want you to know is that God is still with you and that it’s possible to find God again.

HEALTH & LIFESTYLE

Ballet class. I’m still attending ballet class and finding it to be a good workout. Like any good workout, it is both challenging and relaxing. The teacher added a tap class this summer, so I’m getting back to my roots. (I took both ballet and tap as a child, but I wasn’t very good.) These days I’m working hard on my technique and enjoying the process.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor or medical practitioner. I am just a woman living in a 40-something body who still wants to be happily married to a man in a 40-something body. The things I’m writing about below are things that have helped me, but do your own research and talk to your own doctor.

At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about this, but I’ve talked about everything else in life, and neither Jonathan nor I have shied away from talking about sexuality, so here goes: Hormone therapy has been life changing for me.

I never thought I would say that. I never thought I would use hormones. I was into natural living, and besides, everyone knows hormones are dangerous. The Women’s Health Initiative proved that in 2002, right?

But the more I looked into solutions for perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms, the more I became convinced that not only is hormone therapy safe, but it also reduces the risk for heart disease, osteoporosis, and dementia (diseases that increase after a woman enters menopause). And of course, hormone supplementation reduces the bothersome symptoms of perimenopause and menopause.

I wanted to manage my symptoms as naturally as possible for as long as possible, but my symptoms started getting worse this year, and I was determined not to walk out of my midwife’s office without a prescription. Thankfully we had discussed options in the past, so when I told her things were getting worse, she whipped out that prescription pad immediately.

My symptoms improved almost overnight. Hormones are like magic.

I don’t share all of this TMI just for the sake of oversharing. I want this information to help someone. So first of all, if you’re in your late 30s or early 40s, you might be experiencing symptoms of perimenopause. That’s because your hormones can start shifting up to 10 years before your periods actually stop.

So what does perimenopause look like? It might look like worsening anxiety or PMS. It might look like heavier or more painful periods. It might look like sleeping problems or brain fog or increased irritability. It might look like frequent urinary tract infections or pain during sex. It might look like hot flashes or a sudden gain in weight, especially around the middle. Your mind and your body just aren’t working the way they used to, and these hormone changes might be affecting your relationships.

But we don’t just have to suffer through the symptoms, even in perimenopause. There are a number of safe, effective, inexpensive, FDA-approved formulations of body identical (bioidentical) hormones, so if your symptoms are feeling more and more unmanageable, please talk to your doctor, midwife, or nurse practitioner about your options.

Importantly, be aware that there are local estrogen therapies to treat the genitourinary symptoms of menopause (whether that’s dryness or pain with sex or recurrent urinary tract infections), and these medications are not absorbed systemically. For more information on local estrogen therapy (usually in the form of a cream, tablet, or ring), see: Dr. Kelly Casperson or Dr. Rachel Rubin (both urologists). A woman’s quality of life matters. Her sex life matters too. Hormones help with both.

I still do a lot of lifestyle interventions to stay as healthy as possible, especially when it comes to diet and exercise – because there are certain changes with menopause that hormones can’t fix, such as loss of muscle and increased insulin resistance. The following authors have helped me on my journey:

Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking A$$, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond by Stacey Sims, PhD. This one is all about exercise. I have always loved exercise, but I knew I needed help in adjusting my workouts to this new phase in life. I’ll share a few takeaways from this book:

1. Lift heavier than before. It’s harder to build and maintain muscle in midlife and beyond, but we need muscle to keep our strength and our balance and to manage our metabolism and blood sugar. This motivated me to buy a heavier set of dumbbells.

2. Eat more protein. We need more dietary protein as we get older because our bodies aren’t as good at building and repairing muscle. Protein also helps us modulate our blood sugar. This motivated me to increase my protein intake.

3. Do more interval training (especially high intensity interval training, or HIIT). Interval training is kind of hard, and I don’t always like it, but I gave it another try and found that I actually do like the way it makes me feel.

4. Stretching, mobility, and balance are more important than before. Honestly I’ve always skipped stretching and core work because they were SO boring. I’m trying to adjust.

The Galveston Diet by Dr. Mary Claire Haver (also check out her YouTube channel, which has a wealth of information). One of the main things I’m learning from Dr. Haver is the importance of intermittent fasting. As women get older, the hormone shifts of perimenopause and menopause cause us to be at higher risk for insulin resistance, metabolic syndrome, and diabetes. Intermittent fasting, or time-based eating, is one way to reduce our insulin resistance. Humans are designed to eat during the daytime and not eat at night, but modern life with its electricity and constant streaming capabilities has interfered with this pattern. Intermittent fasting honors it. Intermittent fasting doesn’t have to be extreme – Dr. Haver doesn’t recommend going over 16 hours of fasting. Just go at least 12 hours without eating at night: it’s the way humans used to live.

Like Stacy Sims, Dr. Haver also recommends increasing our protein intake in perimenopause and menopause. Actually, she recommends tracking all macro and micronutrients. I refuse to do this. It would be stressful and would take over my life. So I loosely aim for more protein in my morning and noon meals but stick to a plant-based meal for dinner, because I find I feel better and sleep better that way. And all the menopause experts say you need to get better sleep.

Cold brew coffee. I loved cream in my coffee and couldn’t imagine drinking it black. But one of the ways to go 12+ hours without eating is to drink your morning coffee black. I tried Dr. Haver’s tip of adding a pinch of salt to cut the bitterness, but it didn’t impress me much. The black coffee hurt my stomach, and my taste buds still cried out for cream. Then I tried cold brew. It’s so much smoother and richer than hot brew, and it never gives me a stomachache. I think this has something to do with the reduced acidity (though minor) in cold brew as compared to hot brew. It also tastes a lot better!

[I know, I know, we’re not supposed to consume caffeine at all, and a few years ago I had managed to wean myself off all caffeine. But these days I find I still need a little bit of kick in the morning, so I use a mixture of half caf and decaf in my morning coffee.]

MUSIC & SPIRITUALITY

The song “Wandering Day” from the Rings of Power series. Granted, the show wasn’t the perfection of Peter Jackson in the original Lord of the Rings, but it was good for what it was (something completely made up), and this song was breathtaking.

Chording. This year I’m trying to teach myself chording so I can play modern worship songs (and songs like “Wandering Day”) with lead sheets. I only took a year of piano lessons as a child, so my skill level is very low, but I’m still learning and enjoying as I go. Every few years I try to get back to piano, but this is the first time I’ve tried to learn chording.

Searching for song. I’m happiest when I’m singing. Some of you might remember my first email address, isingbunches@yahoo.com. What you might not know is that I fell in love with singing when I was 10, the summer I went to church camp for the first time. I’ve been told that on the three-hour trip home, I was either singing or sleeping. If I was awake, I was singing.

And I’ve been singing ever since. Some of you may remember me as the girl in youth group who was always saying, “Let’s sing!” And since we were in a cappella churches, we really could just sing anytime, anywhere. All we needed were our voices and our memories. (Excuse me a moment while I reminisce.)

All of this to say, I have to do whatever I can to get enough singing in my life. One of those things is playing the piano and singing at home, and another one of those things has been attending worship nights at local churches wherever I live. There were a couple international churches in Phnom Penh that hosted regular Saturday worship nights, and I tried to attend whenever I could. It was always such a rich experience with God.

Here in Joplin there’s a local church that hosts a worship night once a month. It reminds me of worship at our international church in Cambodia, the way the leader creates so much time and space to commune with God. I cried the first time I went to one of these monthly worship times. It felt so much like being in Cambodia. I can’t make it every month, but it’s been such a comfort to have the option of more worship through song.

Lent series on the saints and their different expressions of Christian spirituality. When I attended Ash Wednesday service in February, I saw an announcement for a teaching series on the saints and their various forms of spirituality. I was intrigued; I didn’t know anything about the saints or their spirituality.

I’m so glad I went each week during Lent. I would walk in, and the tension in my shoulders would start to unwind. I could breathe more easily. Father Ted just had a way of ushering us into a deeper connection with ourselves and with the Lord. I’m know I’m drawn to contemplative Christianity and am currently trying to figure out how to get more of it in my life. I’m considering finding a spiritual director; I think I would benefit from the guided prayer times. But whatever I decide to do in the future, I’m glad I spent this spring learning about the saints and their faith.

A Few of My Favorite Things {2022}

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by Elizabeth

I haven’t published a Favorite Things post for over two years – not since the pandemic began – and I wasn’t sure exactly how to begin them again. But there were all these little things I wanted to talk about. Things that might seem superficial or insignificant but that help me enjoy life more, and those things are important.

There’s so much heaviness in the world right now; there has been for quite some time. I’ve always tended to talk about big, heavy things, but I don’t know how to talk about some of these things. I want to acknowledge the distressing things going on in the world right now (the war in Ukraine, the gun violence in the States, the difficult economy, the unpredictability of the pandemic, the continuing political divisions in my country). They are big, and they are important, and they weigh on me – as I’m sure they weigh on you.

But while we can’t ignore the heaviness, I also don’t want to ignore the little joys in life. So today I’m going to inject a little lightness into this blog with some of the things that I’ve been enjoying in my life over the past year or so. Who knows? Maybe this post will be the thing that will inspire me write again more frequently.

SKIN CARE AND HAIR CARE

Differen (adapalene) gel. For years I’ve been using 2% salicylic acid to care for my oily, acne-prone skin. Then I read about differin gel, which is the only over-the-counter FDA-approved prescription strength retinoid. Retinoids are a form of topical Vitamin A that are good for both acne and signs of aging. Differin is designed more for anti-acne purposes than anti-aging purposes, but it still does double duty. Of course, I have responsibly paired the adapalene with a good sunscreen to protect from further sun damage and a good nighttime moisturizer to counteract the drying effects of the retinoid. (These are both from Cerave and are both designed for the oily skin that I have.)

Highlights. I walked into a salon in February searching for myself. That’s a pretty big statement, so let me unpack it. The whole time I was in Cambodia, I didn’t do much with my hair. I kept it long and put it in braids, buns, or ponytails. The heat made it necessary to keep hair off your neck (except maybe once a year in December), and the constantly blowing fans that were supposed to reduce the effects of that heat made it necessary to keep hair off your face, too. Result: boring hairstyles. Additionally, over the decade that I lived in Cambodia, my hair turned from a lighter blonde to what my stylist would call a “dark blonde.” (In my mind, it was sooo dark, but she assured me it really wasn’t.)

So I walked into the salon looking for something different, something new – or was I really looking for something old? I didn’t know what the lighter color and shorter length was going to look like or feel like, but when my stylist turned me around to look at the back of my hair in the mirror, I nearly cried. I looked like the me I had always known. (30+ years is a long time to stay naturally blonde.) I did the highlights for me, but it turned out that my husband loved them too. Score one for Team Trotter.

Purple shampoo. Purple shampoo counteracts the brassiness/yellowness of blonde highlights and keeps them looking fresh. I use this about once a week, and it makes me happy.

Lather/Rinse/Repeat. The bleach used for blonde highlights can damage your hair, and I did notice more dryness and brittleness after getting the highlights. Then I started double conditioning, and everything is soft again. I don’t know why this works or why one application of conditioner isn’t enough. I only know that this does work.

Heatless curls. This solves two problems: damage from heating tools and a lack of time (or lack of commitment to the time it would take) to style my hair. I just sleep in a curling ribbon (robe-curl-style), and in the morning I take it out. Voila! I have curls. They loosen up throughout the day and become waves, but I’m happy with both. I do this once or twice a week and definitely on Sundays!

Silk pillowcase. I bought one of these to protect my skin and hair from excess tugging and pulling. At first I didn’t notice that much of a difference until one night when I had to sleep without the silk one. Ouch! Everything hurt. These are inexpensive and are a nice way to pamper yourself.

HEALTH AND FITNESS

Tempeh. I hadn’t tried tempeh because I just couldn’t get over the mental hurdle of fermented soybeans. (And also I had seen some photos of it, ew.) But since it’s such a healthy, high-protein alternative to meat, and since my family had gotten tired of tofu scramble, I needed some new recipes. And you know what? Tempeh is delicious, filling, and easy. We do Tempeh Bolognese, Tempeh Tacos, and Sweet and Sour Tempeh (which tastes almost like my Cambodian helper’s Sweet and Sour dish).

Roastaroma tea. I go through phases of really liking this tea and then not craving it at all. I’m currently in a craving stage. It’s bitter, like dark chocolate (I go for 90% these days, by the way), and it’s what made me realize that I actually like bitter. I think it’s one of the flavors God made us to enjoy, but our modern packaged food culture, with all its salt, sugar, and unhealthy fats, has dulled our appreciation for its unique flavor.

I also go in for Chai Green Tea from time to time, which gives the health benefits of green tea without the flavor of plain green tea, which for some reason I don’t care for. My favorite flavors are still probably peppermint and spearmint (I prefer spearmint, but it’s harder to find).

Daily walk. I’ve realized that life in Joplin, MO, as a homeschool educator and freelance editor is not as naturally active as my life in Phnom Penh, where I climbed endless sets of staircases and walked the streets frequently. So about a year ago I added a short one-mile walk to my day (Leslie Sansone anyone??). I go through phases where I get busy and forget, but I always feel better on the weeks when I consistently take a one-mile walk in the afternoon, before doing a harder workout after supper.

Step workouts/heavier weights. About the time I realized I needed more activity in my life, I also realized I needed to level up my exercise regime. I already had a step with risers, and I bought an extra set of risers to increase the step height. I already had 3 kg weights (6.6 lbs) from Cambodia, but I bought a set of 8 lb dumbbells from the local sports store. Each of these things has helped me increase my fitness and reduce my stress – because, let’s face it, exercise is more about happiness than about appearance.

In fact I have quite the ritual for evening stress relief. I exercise, I take my magnesium supplements, I take a relaxing shower, and I read in bed. I don’t know why, but reading in bed puts me to sleep pretty fast. I need to read a few pages of fiction (I’m currently in a P.G. Wodehouse novel) to put my mind to sleep, even if I’m already physically exhausted. This of course means it can take me a long time to get through a novel.

FAMILY MOVIE NIGHTS

One of my favorite things to do is introduce my kids to the movies I enjoyed as a child. They’ve enjoyed this tradition so much that from time to time they ask if I remember any other movies from my childhood that they haven’t seen. Here I’m highlighting the funny ones in alphabetical order (because it’s hard to choose a favorite, though Bejeweled and North Avenue Irregulars come close).

Bejeweled. A 1990s Disney Channel mystery movie. So hilarious (but also hard to find).

Candleshoe. A 1970s Disney mystery with Jodie Foster. May have initiated my lifelong love affair with “Greensleeves.”

Follow That Bird. A 1980s Sesame Street movie. Cleverly written to be enjoyable by adults and children alike, and impressive in its inclusion.

Freaky Friday. The 1970s Disney version, of course.

No Deposit, No Return. A 1970s classic caper movie, also by Disney. Utterly unrealistic but tons of fun.

Savannah Smiles. A 1980s B movie that is absolutely hilarious. Shares some similarities with No Deposit, No Return.

The North Avenue Irregulars. Another 1970s flick. A bunch of church ladies on a crazy adventure. My children know that to make me laugh, all they have to do is quote a random line from this movie.

VOCATION
Stories Set Free. A year ago I didn’t have a business. Now I’m booked a month or two in advance. I didn’t believe in myself, but Jonathan encouraged me to put myself out there anyway. I’m glad I took the risk! I love my clients. I believe in the work they are doing, and I love reading their words and working with them to shape and smooth their stories. It is an absolute privilege to work with writers, and I’m thankful.

A Life Overseas. I continue to lead the missions website that I’ve been leading for 7 years. I love my writers, both new and known. I love receiving their submissions and sharing their true and beautiful messages with a larger community. I love helping them craft their words until they are just right. Readers still talk about how much they appreciate the articles, and the journey continues to be an exciting one (for example I’ve added several new writers this past year, and I’m adding a few more soon). For me this has been a very fulfilling ministry, one that I enjoy and one where I feel that my gifts are being used for Kingdom purposes.

Biologos and the Integrate curriculum launch (this is the one where I got to meet Francis Collins!!!). We talked about our unforgettable trip to D.C. on Facebook, but I never wrote about it here. A few years ago, frustrated with the quality of homeschool science materials, I started googling. I found the Biologos site and their pilot program for Integrate, a program that seeks to integrate quality science with a Biblical worldview. The truth is, you don’t have to give up good science to be a Christian, and you don’t have to give up Christianity to be a scientist. I have always believed this. Faith and science don’t have to be at odds. In fact, some of my greatest moments of awe and worship happen when I study science.

I applied for the Integrate pilot program and began piloting sample modules with my older children. Later when the curriculum was published and Biologos decided to throw a launch party for it, they invited me to come be a part of it. I felt out of my depth – nearly everyone there was a PhD scientist, and I was just this little homeschool mom with a stale bachelor’s degree in engineering. I can’t tell you what it did for my soul to be invited to spend time with this special group of people. For so long I have felt so alone. I couldn’t bond over a shared love of science with my Christian community, and I couldn’t relate to non-believing scientists on the deepest levels of reality. I was always hiding a part of me. But when I was with the Biologos people, I didn’t feel I had to hide anything. All parts of me were welcomed and accepted. And when we sang the Doxology together, I cried. I felt at home with them, even if for just a little while.

(Bonus: I’m heading to a homeschool convention in July to support the Biologos booth. I’m so excited!)

(Bonus to the Bonus: I might even get to meet Susan Wise Bauer at this convention.)

SPIRITUALITY

College Heights Christian Church – especially the New Creation Sunday School class. The believers in this class showed me that you can be faithful to the Scriptures without being corrupted by MAGA nationalism. They have restored my faith in the people of God, and I will be forever grateful for that.

My spiritual life really suffered over the last two years. When we returned to the U.S., I looked on in horror as American Christianity became infected with MAGA idolatry. I questioned everything I had ever known. It’s not like I hadn’t questioned things before. I had. I’d had plenty of faith crises in my life (and I’d written about them publicly), but this felt entirely different. Had I devoted my life to a religious movement that was only ever masquerading as biblical Christianity but was actually founded on an insidious quest for political power? I wasn’t sure I wanted my name associated with this political movement. It was some of the most profound pain I have ever experienced.

Today, I still believe Christianity is true – when it is unfettered by the base desire for power. In many ways it was the people at this local church who helped me believe it was possible to uncouple Christianity from power-hungry political movements.

But in addition to restoring my faith in faith, these people have welcomed us into their family. I felt very bruised and battered after losing Cambodia so suddenly and unexpectedly. Cambodia was my whole life. I’d never wanted that life, but after a few years, I fell in love. I didn’t know how to live without it. These people have gently taken care of our needs and showed me how to belong again.

After 20 years of sitting separately from my husband in church, it has been a relief to sit in the back row with my whole family and just be. No need to volunteer or minister to anyone. Just rest and recover. At the same time, it’s comforting to know that, when I’m ready, our church family has plenty of ministry opportunities for me to take part in. It’s a good place to be. (Oh, and the youth group has been great for our kids!)

LIFE

My house. A year and a half after signing the papers, I still can’t believe I got this amazing house. The yard, which is always wonderful, is especially beautiful right now. I have my own office. I have my own workout room. I have my own bathroom (this wasn’t always true in Cambodia). And due to multiple small miracles, we can actually afford this house, even in this tight economy.

My husband. He is still my best friend, and after 22 years I am more in love with him than I have ever been. We have two standing date nights a week. (Note: Date night doesn’t mean you have to spend money, although we sometimes do. Date night can be a walk in the neighborhood and coffee on the porch).

Years 18 to 21 were a strain on us. I had multiple health problems which interfered with our marriage; we repatriated unexpectedly to the States in the middle of a pandemic; and we self-isolated for longer than most to protect Jonathan’s health, which led to painful social isolation. Add in a faith crisis, and well, those were hard years. But we have found ourselves and found each other again since settling in this house, and marriage is good.

My self. When I look back over this list, I realize that some of the things I’ve done or am doing are about finding myself again. You change when you live overseas for a long period of time. You can’t help it. And when you come back, you’re different. You don’t know exactly where you fit, and you don’t know exactly who you are. For instance, I found that being an overseas missionary had become wedded to my identity in a way I hadn’t expected (especially since I never wanted to go in the first place!). Losing the expat life was a big loss and a big shift in my identity that I had to grapple with.

I think some of the items in this Favorite Things post have been about trying to find my place in my new life, about trying to figure out who Elizabeth Trotter is in this context. I was so unhappy for so long. It took me 12 months to truly accept that this was my new life, and 18 months to truly love it. So I feel like celebrating the seemingly little things that have helped me on my journey to love my new life in Joplin, MO. In the end, I think that’s really what this article was about.

A Few of My Favorite Things {July-December 2019}

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By Elizabeth

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Life has been busy these days. I can’t seem to publish these lists every month or even every other month, but I wanted to finish out the year with a post because next year might be even busier! That’s because, in addition to joining the planning committee for our local homeschool coop, I’ve taken on the responsibility of writing and directing a play for our students. I’ll have lots of help for the project, but in the next several months most of my creative energy will be focused on the play. So I wanted to get these links to you now, before all the crazy begins.

But first, a few real-life items and events.

Girlfriends who share their beauty secrets. Did you know you can use coconut oil for shaving your legs and underarms? I didn’t, but I’m glad my girlfriends enlightened me. (I don’t know anyone who uses shaving cream here.)

Mineral deodorant. Another life hack from my girlfriends. When I was frustrated with the lack of efficacy of conventional deodorant, they informed me about Crystal deodorant. Works much better!

Watching Jonathan at work. It had been a while since I’d watched him counsel anyone, but I recently had the chance. (This happens infrequently and only when we are asked to do premarital counseling as a couple.) He knows what to do and what to say, where to lead. Watching him at work is simply MAGICAL. Although the work is hard, I know it is a privilege for him to witness the transformation of people’s lives. Every once in a while I get to see it.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, a play by a Christian international school. Their productions are always a community event. We arrive at the school campus early to be able to play on the grounds and catch up with friends we don’t often see. The play itself was a lot of fun, and the set especially was impressive!

Our homeschool coop’s Showcase. We ended our semester with a performance of sorts. The teens took a public speaking course and presented their speeches. The younger students had been working on some choir songs. It was a beautiful, cool evening, and everyone did such a wonderful job. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Cooler weather. Speaking of the weather, we enjoyed a nice cold snap the first week of December. Cool weather doesn’t last long around here, so we enjoyed it while we could.

Decorating for Christmas. Our tree and lights are up, and we’ve been singing Christmas carols during our morning devotionals. I love our tree, and I love Christmas music! We even invited some friends over for carols and had a lovely evening of singing and fellowship.

 

WORSHIP SONGS

You Are by Hillsong.

Living Hope by Phil Wickham. I love songs that tell the entire Gospel story.

Through It All by Hillsong. “I’ll sing to you, Lord, a hymn of love for your faithfulness to me. I’m carried in everlasting arms, You’ll never let me go, through it all.”

Goodness of God by Jenn Johnson and Bethel Music. “All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.” In many ways this song, much like the goodness of God, has been running after me. For months.

King of Kings by Hillsong. My most favorite song from the last 4 months. Every single word is my favorite.

 

RECIPES

I’m still on a journey to eat and cook in a more healthful way and am always on a search for new recipes. Here are a few that either I love or that my family also loves.

Vegan Pesto. I love this stuff — my family, not so much. Oh well, more for me!

Carrot Tacos. I know, a weird sounding name, but my family raves about this meal. I add pre-cooked lentils and frozen corn to the mix, and it helps bulk up the meal. Without those additions, I don’t think it would be enough. Kind of spicy as written – consider reducing the chili powder and paprika if spice bothers you. We also cut the spice with plain yogurt.

Vegan Sloppy Joes. Also a hit with my family (they like it more than I do).

Lentil Quinoa Loaf. Absolutely delicious and actually tastes like meatloaf. My family loves this. I double the recipe to make enough for everyone, and they would still like more.

Chickpea-Broccoli Wrap. I eat this plain, without the wrap. I’m not a huge fan of broccoli on its own, but it’s good mixed with other things (I’m trying to eat more cruciferous veggies). This recipe also inspired me to combine parmesan and nutritional yeast for several dishes; they complement each other.

Green Pea Pesto. I love this stuff, but my kids can’t stand it. I use it as a dip with carrots (peas and carrots!) I make these modifications to bring out the natural sweetness of the green peas: omit the olive oil, lemon, parmesan cheese, and pepper; substitute cashews for pine nuts and increase amount to ¼ cup; use 2 tsp dried mint (mint is essential here). That’s how I like it anyway.

Pizza Hummus. This is a kid-crowd favorite around here. I omit the crushed red pepper.

Cauliflower Mash. This is a basic recipe. I add some butter but not sour cream or yogurt, and not too much garlic, or it overwhelms. We all love cauliflower mash. Bummer that you have to chop so much to get such a small amount of mash.

Cauliflower-Chickpea Taco “Meat.” I can’t find my original recipe link, but this one comes closest to what I do. The only difference is, I replace all those spices with 2 tsp taco seasoning to make it easier, and I cook it on a skillet since I don’t have an oven. It’s not substantial enough to be a meal on its own, but it’s a nice side dish for us.

Gluten Free Vegan Snickers Bars. So delish. Aren’t dates amazing? I don’t use refined sugar anymore. They’re time-intensive, but my entire family loves these.

Vegan Pecan Pie Tartlets. More dates. More yum. Everyone likes these.

Vegan Girl Scout Cookies (Caramel Delites). Dates again. I don’t even use chocolate on these. About half of us like these, including me.

 

BOOKS

Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. Who doesn’t love Kate DiCamillo? I love everything I’ve ever read of hers, and this was a delight to read aloud and experience together.

Attached by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, M.A. Written about romantic relationships and mostly for people still in the dating world, this book helps you understand why you react the way you do in both romantic relationships and platonic friendships. Helped me understand why certain friendships haven’t worked out over the years (it’s a combination of certain attachment styles).

At home in Mitford by Jan Karon. I’d heard such good things about this series and have wanted to read this book for awhile, but it has a slow start up, and I never got into it until this fall. I bought the first two cheap at a garage sale.  I’ve cried, I’ve laughed. I’ve underlined. (I never do that in a fiction book.) I love the town of Mitford, and I love Father Timothy. I am now in the second book, A Light in the Window. I may need to purchase the third when I’m done with this one.

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy. A classic I picked up super cheap in a bookstore. An easy and fun read, although because of its publication date, there are a few politically incorrect attitudes.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. We LOVE this story. We started reading it at Christmas time a few years ago when a different Christian international school was performing it. It’s easy and hilarious to read aloud, doesn’t take much time to read, and always makes me cry happy tears at the end. Makes for such good family discussions too. Read it every year!

Embracing the Body by Tara Owens. Still working my way through this. It’s good, but these are dense concepts, and I read it for a while and then stop, then pick it up again later.

The thing that opened my mind up to this type of theology is the phrase “Matter matters” and my introduction to the term sacrament from my Anglican friends. Over the years, that one conversation sank deeper and deeper in my heart and changed my attitudes toward my body and the physical world. Because sometimes an entire book is too much to digest at once. I can’t imagine reading Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, for example. But a single idea that one can ruminate on, that’s within reach.

I’ve recently come across another phrase that’s been helping me. It wraps up a whole lot of philosophy in one sentence. But to fully unpack it,  I need more time, so you’ll have to wait on that one.

 

BLOG POSTS

I’ve separated the following blog posts into several categories:

 

Sexuality

A few awkward thoughts on the love language of physical touch by Rebecca Reynolds.

Calling Our Bodies Our Own (Coming Out of Hiding) by Nicole T. Walters.

What I Wish You Knew About Childhood Sexual Abuse (a husband’s perspective). A very hard read, but important.

 

Education and Public Health

Measles makes body ‘forget’ how to fight infection by James Gallagher. Concerning news in this day and age.

Therapists use cooking to stir up better mental health by Lauren Lee. I stumbled upon this mental health tactic independently, but let me tell you, it works.

The Shocking Phenomenon That Shows Just How Movement-Starved Modern Kids Really Are by Brandon Hall.

Elementary Education Has Gone Terribly Wrong by Natalie Wexler for The Atlantic. As with most social issues, this one affects the poor disproportionately.

 

Race Relations

I Was Wrong About Race by JR Forasteros. Foundational. I attended high school with the author.

Botham Jean’s Brother’s Offer of Forgiveness Went Viral. His Mother’s Calls for Justice Should Too. By Dorena Williamson for Christianity Today. There is so much to say, but for now all I will say is that I’m relieved that someone expressed this aspect of the issue.

I didn’t get a chance to read this Velvet Ashes book club book, but I was struck by this quote from Born a Crime by Trevor Noah: “In any society built on institutionalized racism, race-mixing doesn’t merely challenge the system as unjust, it reveals the system as unsustainable and incoherent. Race-mixing proves that races can mix — and in a lot of cases, want to mix. Because a mixed person embodies that rebuke to the logic of the system, race-mixing becomes a crime worse than treason.”

 

Family Life

Recovering a Good Father by Helena Sorensen.

Always Serving Leftovers: Why I’m Not Traveling to Speak Next Year by Brandi Vencel.

Children Need Magic by Joshua Gibbs. “My children will know that the world is charmed by Jesus Christ himself.” Love that.

Why You Never See Your Friends Anymore by Judith Shulevitz.

I Refuse to Let My Teen Burn Out From Academic Pressure by Christine Carter. This is a concern for public, private, and homeschool students alike. There is too much pressure these days — and I say that as someone who lived under an awful lot of academic pressure herself!

 

Global Living

Newsletter Code Words by Anisha Hopkinson.

Should We Have Waited Until We Were Older? by Amy Medina.

If I Could Tell You Three Things by Anisha Hopkinson.

I am a False Prophet by Amy Medina.

If You Send an MK Some Cookies by Craig Thompson.

Are You Meant to be a Missionary? (a half serious but of course completely reliable 10 question quiz!) by Anisha Hopkinson.

I Belong to You by Laura Hope. One of the most important messages of all.

 

A Few of My Favorite Things {February to June 2019}

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It’s been so long since I’ve sent out an update like this! I’m sorry. I used to publish these lists of my favorite things once a month, and this past year it’s been much less often. Now that my anxiety is under much better control, I’m going to try to write more frequently. I’m feeling good physically and mentally (and have been for a while). But for now, here’s a (rather long) update on my life, along with some quality reading material. ~Elizabeth

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Hearing both my girls (on separate occasions) singing “Tell me the Story of Jesus” in the shower. When I heard them, I thought, it’s working! Let me explain. About a year and a half ago I realized my kids weren’t growing up with love for or even knowledge of hymns. At our international church we sing mostly modern worship songs, which of course I love. But I was raised on the meaty theology in hymns. Hymn lyrics are what come to me in the dead of night when I am in crisis. I want my kids to know them and depend on them too, but they didn’t really know any.

So we started slowly, one song a week. And sometimes it takes more than a week to fully learn a song. But you know what? The songs really start to add up, and after a year and a half we have quite a few hymns and camp songs we can sing together as a family. “Tell Me the Story of Jesus” is especially nostalgic because it’s not only a classic in the hymnal, but it’s also the song that all the campers and counselors always sing at the end of hymn sing at Camp Takodah, just before being dismissed to Bible class. This leads me to my next story.

I was doing yoga to The Majesty and Glory album (hymn music from Jonathan’s and my adolescence that I loved to listen to and recently re-discovered through iTunes). In walks my daughter who says, “Where did you get this good music??!” And I thought again, it’s working! My love for traditional worship music is slowly being passed on to my children and shaping their hearts and minds too.

Talking about the Enneagram with our kids.  Jonathan and I started describing the Enneagram numbers to our kids, based on a book we’re both reading. It was fun to explain who my husband and I are and to figure out who the kids are, together. It was fascinating to watch their faces as we read through each description and slowly, each child figured out which number they were. Some were happy, and some were annoyed, but we’re pretty sure we know which number each of our children is. It has given us a shared language and helped us all understand each other better.

Drama production and ballet solos. One of the great privileges of the last few years has been to watch my children grow through the performing arts. It started with drama at our coop and has continued with dance lessons for my two youngest. Every time I watch the performing arts I am moved spiritually and emotionally. The arts speak a language without words, and it’s difficult to put the experiences into words (which feels so surprising to a wordsmith like myself). Maybe some day I’ll be able to explain these things better, but for now just know they are a highlight of my life and I’m so thankful for the chance my children have had to be a part of these performances (especially since our drama teacher just moved away).

Velvet Ashes Retreat with my dear friend who is moving away. We’ve done this together the last 3 years, and I don’t know how I’ll be able to bring myself to do the Velvet Ashes Retreat without her next year. I also don’t know how I’m going to survive without this girl. But I am thankful we had this extra time to spend together.

2 Renew, a monthly Saturday evening worship time at our church. Realizing how much I need extra worship services besides Sundays, this spring I committed to attend 2 Renew at least every other month. It’s not fireworks, but it is consecrated time to talk to God without my children (I love Sunday mornings with my family, but they are inevitably slightly distracting). The times I have gone have been significant because God just seems to repeat all the things He has been saying to me, things I need reminding of, things I know but have not been heeding. And sometimes we just need repetition, right? I can pinpoint a big turning point in my anxiety journey to the first 2 Renew I attended in March and another turning point in addressing a deep father wound to the service in May. Thankful for these times!

I also attended Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, and Good Friday services at the Anglican church. I wrote about Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday. Again, these are simply times of worship that I attend alone without my family, and I tend to be able to draw more strength from them from than regular Sunday morning services.

Dance class. Contemporary dance class is a place I consistently meet God. I started attending last October when my anxiety and OCD began spiking. Every week in the beginning, I would nearly start to cry at some some aspect of the dance teaching that was reflecting something God had just been speaking to me about. This semester we learned some choreography to the classic hymn Amazing Grace. We danced it every week, and though I had a hard time keeping up and was quite unsure of myself, I kept going. Wow. All I can say is, dancing to the words of Amazing Grace every single week for 5 months did something to me internally. Every week I left dance class with that song in my head, and with a new understanding of my need for grace.

(The hymn was recorded by a friend here in town, and you can hear her beautiful version of it beginning at 5:30 on this video.)

A series of counseling appointments at Living Well. When I hit rock bottom, my best friend noticed. She has walked with me through many dark days over the past 13 years, so when she said, “I’ve never seen you like this,” I sat up and paid attention. Her concern made me finally seek counseling help. It was a short season of counseling (before that counselor left the country), but it pulled me out of the depths. I have a plan in place now to stay on top of the anxiety and OCD.

The rains have begun. This hot season was brutal, with daily power cuts due to a shortage of electricity in our country. The power cuts have resolved, and the rains make life more bearable each June.

 

MUSIC

In Need by Keith Lancaster. A friend shared with me when I spoke of the struggles of the last year. Beautiful a cappella. “I am your child, I am in need.”

Goodness of God by Bethel. “All my life you have been faithful.” “Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me.”

Come Alive by Lauren Daigle: “We cry out to dry bones come alive, come alive.” For much of the last year I was like the walking dead, but it was only when I started to come alive again (by working with a counselor here in town) that I realized I had been dead. It’s so good to be alive again, and I don’t ever want to live dead again.

Who You Say I Am by Hillsong. “In my Father’s house there’s a place for me.”

Oh Come to the Altar by Elevation Worship. “O come to the altar, the Father’s arms are open wide.”

Ever Be by Aaron Shust: “You father the orphan and your kindness makes us whole. You shoulder our weakness and your strength becomes our own.” This phrase caught my attention because WHOLE is my theme for the year, and I’ve definitely felt the need for His strength to become my own.

Even Then by Micah Tyler: “Even when it feels like my world is shaken, even when I’ve had all that I can take, I know You never let me go, whoa. And even when the waters won’t stop rising, even when I’m caught in the dead of a night, I know, no matter how it ends, You’re with me even then.”

My Defender by Rita Springer: “When I thought I lost me you knew where I left me, you reintroduced me to your love.” I think I’ve shared this before, but it’s just so good.

A few hymns that mean a lot to me but that are hard to find good versions online. Here are the lyrics: Give to the Wind Your Fears and And Can It Be That I Should Gain?

 

BOOKS

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg. This was a read aloud, and boy does it have good dialogue! And the wisdom about life that gets woven into this children’s book is superb, especially the conversation about vacation towards the end. Written over 50 years ago, the conversation has amazing and unexpected applicability to our digital age.

Carry On, Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham. The sea. The stars. Grief. Loss. Education. Empowerment. The nomadic life. I see why this book is many people’s favorite (and for TCKs especially). We haven’t quite finished this read aloud, but we need to.

The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis. The Silver Chair has always been my favorite Narnia book. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to appreciate Narnia books that I didn’t particularly love as a child, but The Silver Chair has remained my favorite. I knew I wanted to read some Lewis over Khmer New Year (spring break), and this is the one I chose. All these years later, it is still just as good as the first time.

Brainlock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz. Recommended by both Jonathan’s counseling mentor and the member care person in our org. So far it’s really helpful, both enlightening and practical.

Something that’s really intriguing to me is that 11 years ago during a particularly anxiety-ridden pregnancy, it was a children’s book about OCD that helped me work through the worries. And years ago, before I ever knew I actually had OCD, I had saved a Discover magazine article that detailed Schwartz’s career and passion and brought it with me to Cambodia, slipped inside the children’s OCD book. I had clipped it out mainly because it felt to me to be scientific proof that we have free will. This was back in the days when parsing out the truth of free will versus God’s sovereignty seemed of utmost importance. Now it seems less so, but it was quite the experience to begin Brainlock and think to myself, I have heard this man’s story before, and then to go searching and to find both the OCD book and the article.

I talk about worry and that children’s book in this article/video. These strategies “starved the OCD monster” and kept it at bay for over 8 years. This year I found myself

(Other than that, I didn’t get much book reading done this spring. I’d like to reverse this trend.)

 

BLOG POSTS, THEOLOGICAL IN NATURE

Job’s Wife: Authenticity in Suffering by Anna E. Hampton. A thoughtful and encouraging interpretation of Job’s wife. If you read no other articles this month, read this one.

Matthew 18 is Not Instructive for Book Reviews, But Much of the New Testament Is, by Jen Oshman. Clear-headed and true.

What Was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil For? by Daniel Hoffman. A lot to chew on here, and I probably need to re-read it.

How Universalism, the “Opiate of the Theologians,” Went Mainstream, Paul Copan interviews Michael McClymond.

When Self-Discovery Becomes Self-Worship by Josiah Dangers.

Scenery, Machinery, People — Rethinking our view of humans by Jerry Jones. Thought-provoking.

Canandian Mennonite University Scientist in Residence | Student Forum with Dr. Dennis R. Venema [VIDEO]. This lecture was so healing for me to hear. I cried through some parts.

 

BLOG POSTS, NARRATIVE IN NATURE

When Cuss Words, Addiction, and Shame Show Up at Church by Scott Sauls. I dare you not to cry.

An MIT Professor Meets the Author of All Knowledge by Rosalind Picard. I also cried reading this one.

‘Pointless’ Bones, ‘Flawed’ Birth Spacing, and ‘Broken’ Genes: Why our flaws alone can’t disprove God’s purpose by Liuan Huska.

Yours Also the Night by Julie Spencer. I had a lot of early morning wakings last year, so I relate.

 

BLOG POSTS, PRACTICAL IN NATURE

Surviving College: Go to Church, Go to Class, Call Your Dad by Joshua Gibbs. This advice is all so true. I almost never skipped church or class my first year in college, and I called my mom a lot. Definitely kept me grounded.

Why ‘Being Christian Without the Church’ Fails the Good Friday Test: According to the gospel of John, the cross casts us into community.  by Fleming Rutledge.

4 Questions To Consider Before Commenting On A Controversial Subject by Karl Vaters.

Homework is wrecking our kids: The research is clear, let’s ban elementary homework by Heather Shumaker.

Chris Evans’ Advice for People with Anxiety and Depression [VIDEO].

 

BLOG POSTS, EXPAT IN NATURE

9 Ways MKs Can Navigate Their Grief by Michèle Phoenix. Vitally important.

We Spent Our Best Years Overseas. And They Were Hard. by Jen Oshman. So thankful she said these things.

When Your Yes Impacts Other People by Sarah Hilkemann. Another hard truth about living and working overseas.

4 Ways to Give Yourself Grace During Re-Entry by Bernie Anderson.

15 Things I Want to Tell Graduating Third Culture Kids by Rachel Pieh Jones.

Even Jesus Had a Boat by Anisha Hopkinson.

The Reality of Being a Foreign Service Spouse by Donna Scaramastra Gorman. Being mostly in missionary circles, this is a perspective I don’t hear about very much, and I was thankful for the insight.

How To Get Into Missions in Just One Month by Anisha Hopkinson. Funny!

 

MOVIES AND TELEVISION

Kim’s Convenience. This hilarious show details the life of an immigrant Korean family to Canada. I think I like it because I relate to the cross-cultural difficulties and also to the specifically Asian context.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. A show from my own childhood, I watched the first season with my kids. There are some historical inaccuracies, of course, but I didn’t expect to find the gospel story plastered on the surface of this show, screaming loud and clear for all to hear. It’s Hosea/Israel, Christ/Church, Redeeming Love all over the place and had me crying in front of my kids. We don’t shy away from those stories with our kids – prostitution is on the surface of life here too.

The Lego Movie 2. It wasn’t a particularly enthralling movie, but the best part came at the end: “Because everything is NOT awesome, but we can make it more awesome.” This is so deeply, painfully true. Everything is not awesome. This world is deeply and painfully broken. People are hurting, and people hurt other people. The systems of the world are broken, and the natural world itself does not function as it should. But when we build community, the pain diminishes.

Captain Marvel. We watched this as a family in the theater. I like Marvel but am not overly fanatical about their movies. That said, I really liked the way this story portrayed strong female characters and strong, non-sexualized female friendships and mentorships.

End Game. Of course we all went to End Game too. I hadn’t even seen some of the pre-cursors to this Avengers movie, so my kids tried to update me. I cried so much. There are so many tearjerker scenes. The movie perfectly ties up nearly every Marvel/Avengers storyline. (I particularly like what they did with Captain America’s and Iron Man’s storylines.) Speaking of Avengers, here’s a fun article identifying many of the Avengers’ Enneagram numbers. It’s been informative for our family.

North and South. I love this movie. I agree with everyone else out there who thinks North and South wins the prize for best kiss. I watched this one with some of my kids while Jonathan was out of town (he was gone for 21 out of 27 days). Although it takes place in England (where every good drama takes place), this movie also related to a lot of the industrialism/strike issues we were studying in American history.

It held my girls’ attention well enough that I introduced them to Pride and Prejudice (the Hollywood version). They recognized Matthew McFadyen as Arthur Clennam from Little Dorrit, a really long Dickens mini-series that we watched together last summer at my mom’s house and which is now a family favorite. Anyway, after watching Pride and Prejudice, Jonathan loaded the soundtrack onto my girls’ devices, and they are in love!

 

MATH AND SCIENCE

STEMWA, a Facebook group that Jonathan created. I was lamenting yet one more time about how lonely it can be to be an expat woman in math or science. Finding other math and science people is hard enough, but finding female expat math and science people is even harder. Voila! Jonathan created this group for me.

Teaching at coop. I’ve mentioned before how much I love teaching math and science at our coop, and this semester was no different. I taught younger students, and it was still fun (though my favorite are the teenagers). In the fall I’m teaching younger students again, but I really like the content areas, so it will still be fun. I will miss my teenagers though!

 

HEALTH AND FITNESS

New hand weights. For Christmas I asked for new 3 kg weights to replace my 2 kg weights. The 2 kg weights were all I could find when I moved here, and they were only ever so-so for my fitness preferences, but after 7 years with them I knew I needed heavier weights. These weights make every video workout I have so much harder, even the ones I thought were easy before.

New workout clothes. The last time I bought workout shorts was 2008. Over 10 years ago. I was in dire need of new shorts! I found better, more comfortable workout clothes for cheap at the Decathlon store at the new Aeon mall in Phnom Penh (the same place I found those new weights).

T-25. Jonathan bought this workout series several years ago, but it had been been lying dormant most of that time. It was too hard for me at the time he bought it, and now he goes to a gym instead. So I tried some of these workouts. There are some good ones in there. They’re definitely hard, and I don’t do them every day. I think that attending dance class increased my strength and stamina and gave me the courage to try T-25 again. I try to alternate difficult workouts with easier ones.

Fitness Blender. I think I’ve mentioned Fitness Blender before. I started using their videos again. When I’m low on time but want to get something in, I do their short upper body workouts. Kelly, the gal on this husband/wife team, has an eating disorder story very similar to my own (minus the bulimia). Plus, she also has OCD (which I think is the reason I struggled with an ED in the first place and the reason it manifested the way it did, with relatively few months of being underweight but so many years of mental anguish). It’s a good video if you want to get a glimpse inside my life.

Teeccino. Yum. I weaned myself off coffee last year – very slowly over two months and honestly, quite painfully. I received some herbal coffee substitutes in a Christmas package from the States. (And all to be drunk with coconut milk as the number one creamer in the world.) I am here to vouch for Teeccino’s teas. Roastaroma from Celestial Seasonings is also a good coffee substitute. And I can sometimes find Starbucks decaf ground coffee. It’s far superior than the Italian decaf espresso you can sometimes find in stores here (but that works in a pinch). Once in a store I found some decaf black tea and snatched it up before it was gone. You never know what’s going to be in stock here, so you buy it when you find it and assume you’ll never find it again. It’s an insidious scarcity mentality I’ve picked up from living here so long. I’ve talked to friends who feel the same way.

Lebanese Red Lentil Soup. I found this delicious lentil soup recipe while searching lentil recipes. It’s so good. I try to make it a couple times a month. Unfortunately, red lentils were one of those items that went out of stock for a couple months earlier this year. I was so bummed and thought I’d never see red lentils again. Then lo and behold, one day all the stores had them in stock again. We kind of joke that when we can’t find certain items, that “the whole country is out of stock.” I mean, who talks like that? Oh yeah, expats do.

Garam Masala Nuts. I searched for a recipe for a spiced nut and seed mixture after eating a divine nut and seed mix at a Christmas gathering. Salty and spicy yumminess! I use olive oil instead of butter, and I add pumpkin seeds, which are a great complete protein. Pumpkin seeds were out of stock for a while, but they’re back in stock now. The only problem now is, walnuts are way too expensive to buy.

Green Pea Hummus. I love this stuff, but my family doesn’t care too much for it. More for me! This is the recipe that taught me the 2 key ingredients for good hummus: tahini and cumin. I had never put cumin in my hummuses before, but this recipe convinced me. I also didn’t always use tahini. It could be expensive or hard to find, plus, it’s so thick that it didn’t mix well in my blender (blenders aren’t always the highest quality here). Then my blender broke and I started making hummus by hand with a potato masher instead. This spring I started adding the tahini (because of this recipe). The trick for any hummus is to look at the recipe for the amount of oil and cut it in half. You should use half olive oil and half tahini for your “oil.” Then you get perfectly flavored (even if not perfectly blended) hummus. Word to the wise: soak your green peas overnight, or else it takes a lot longer than 30 minutes to cook them.

Black Bean Hummus. My family may not like my Green Pea Hummus, but they devour the Black Bean Hummus and request it frequently. It also has the requisite cumin and tahini, as explained above.

(As you can see, I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes since last fall when I hit bottom.)

 

QUOTES

Oswald Chambers, January 2, My Utmost For His Highest: “Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him. Then think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is.”

I don’t know the source of this quote. I found it from the blog of a friend walking through cancer, and she found it in a book she was reading. “We want to say that the knowledge of tomorrow would remove our anxieties, but this assumes that tomorrow holds sunshine, or that knowing what it holds means we could face it better. Whatever tomorrow holds, we can be certain that its contents will raise as many questions as they will answer.  We can trust God to manage the future without our help.”

This quote reminded me of a quote from Cindy Morgan that has always helped me: “Fear can have so many faces. We can never really escape from the things that cause us to be afraid. For everyone we secure ourselves against, there will be another waiting to take its place. The world is not under our control. So it all comes down to learning to trust God.”

A Charlotte Mason quote, found through Angelina Stanford: “If mothers could learn to do for themselves what they do for their children when these are overdone, we should have happier households. Let the mother go out to play! If she would only have courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or half a day, out in the fields, or with a favourite book, or in a picture gallery looking long and well at just two or three pictures, or in bed, without the children, life would go on far more happily for both children and parents.”

 

 

A Few of My Favorite Things {November, December, January}

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by Elizabeth

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I have been so out of touch with blogging the past several months. In fact it’s been three long months since I’ve even published a Favorite Things post. I could explain how homeschooling a high school student and junior high school student as well as two elementary students and keeping up with coop activities and ballet classes and youth group and finishing writing and editing a book with my husband and editing a larger missions blog, etc, has kept me from regular blog writing.

But the truth is that I have also been heavily distracted by my struggle with anxiety these last several months. I don’t have a lot of room for writing, because I am using all my head space either worrying or attempting to figure out how to stop worrying. I’ve read some books and made some life changes, but that didn’t seem to be making enough of an impact. So I’m returning to counseling as well. After the first session I do feel more hopeful.

So even while my life stage feels crazy and my brain at times feels even crazier, here are the best things from the past few months:

Prince Caspian play with our homeschool coop. I was incredibly proud of my kids for their work on this performance last December. Three of them had major parts in this production: King Peter, Trumpkin the Dwarf, and Queen Lucy. There were also several TCK moments in the play that brought me to tears. (For those of you who were there, it was the treasure chest scene, the final goodbye scene, and the song the band sang at the end.)

Medieval dance, post-play. This event matched the historical/costume themes in the play. Our coop director is also a dance teacher, and we learned two group dances: a circle dance and a double line dance. I enjoyed both so much. If this is what traditional dancing is like, I’m all in.

Carols with friends. Singing a cappella brings me joy, and I know the busy Christmas season can easily get away from us without taking the time to worship our Incarnate God in song. So our family got together with a couple other families for a hymn sing.

Christmas Eve supper. My mom’s Czech family has a Christmas Eve tradition of soup and apple, and even though we’re gone from family, we now celebrate it here in Cambodia. We have other family traditions too, which absolutely must happen in the days leading up to Christmas. Thankfully we had a whole weekend prior to fit it all in!

Boxing day party. Another set of friends always hosts a Boxing Day party (the day after Christmas), and I’ve been able to attend the last several years. It’s a lot of fun, and we get to sing carols there too.

Red tea. I had been wanting some of this caffeine-free tea and received some for Christmas. I could drink this all day (but I don’t). It’s a good substitute for black tea. I drink mine with milk. I’ve also successfully quit regular coffee. It took me two months to cut from 3-4 cups per day down to 2 cups, to 1 cup, and then to a cup of half-caf, and finally down to decaf only. Finding decaf grounds at the local Starbucks was a fun surprise that helped in this effort (although they don’t always sell decaf grounds).

Mary Poppins. We watched this as a family at the theatre. The music was a lot of fun, and Mary Poppins’s character is a lot closer to her character in the book than in the original movie. There were a lot of references to and reflections of the original movie, however I thought they really increased the narrative tension over the original film. Thankfully it’s a family movie with a happy ending!

 

GLOBAL WORKER BLOG POSTS

Home for Christmas by Anisha Hopkinson. Not just for Christmas! “We are not just British, or American, or Chinese, or Indonesian – we are Hopkinsons. No matter where we are, we are home when we are together.”

Looking for a Place to Land by Kate Motaung. Beautiful and hopeful in its yearning.

When Life Gives You a Chicken by Emily Raan. Funny and relatable.

Saying “God Called Me” Can Be Dangerous by Amy Medina. On point as always.

Welcoming Broken Missionaries Back at A Life Overseas. Food for thought.

Go Ahead and Criticize Missions (Constructively) by Amy Medina. Important.

In the wake of John Chau’s death, here are some questions to consider by Arthur Davis. The Davises (his wife Tamie writes too) are always thoughtful, in a way that continually surprises me yet has me shaking my head in agreement.

Witnesses of the Kingdom by Rachel Pieh Jones. Important thoughts on global ministry.

Marrying Across Cultures by Hannah Edington. Such great advice even for mono-cultural couples, this is even more important for cross-cultural couples. I hope this advice can point the way for workers who want to help local marriages, cross-cultural or not.

 

OTHER BLOG POSTS

A Liturgy for the Fog by Rachel Zimmerman for Velvet Ashes.

This is Not a Dead End by Karen Huber. Hopeful and just the encouragement I needed that day.

Learn the Difference Between Right and Almost Right by Jen Pollock Michel. I love both Jen (you probably already know this) and Hannah Anderson, whose book Jen is reviewing here.

Coming Home to Our Bodies by Simona Chitescu Weik. I’m on a journey to learn to live more in my body.

The 4 Biggest Myths About Emotions You Probably Learned in Church by Marc Alan Schelske. Shared by my husband, and very good.

Bad enough yet? by Kay Bruner. Yes, for me it got bad enough to seek help. But only after a friend told me how worried she was about me, and after all the things she walked with me through, she had never seen me like this. I woke up enough to seek help. Because the “self-help” of reading books, trying to implement them, and praying on my own wasn’t enough.

There’s Nothing Sketchy About Cross-Gender Friendships in the Church by Aimee Byrd. I have so much I could say about this. Something that concerns me is the way the Billy Graham Rule has tended to reduce women to sexual objects. When I’m with men who believe strongly in separating the sexes even at church, I can’t get away from feeling like a piece of meat. Contrarywise, when I’m with men who don’t consider separation of the utmost importance, I feel like a human being, valued and listened to for my thoughts, not avoided because of my body. For me, the “piece of meat” experience is quite pronounced among both Americans and Cambodians. It is refreshingly absent from interactions with Europeans and Australians and New Zealanders. This may not be everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and it seems to tell me something about American Christian culture. According to this article, the Gospel should be powerful enough to transform cross-gender relationships into something good and holy.

The Mistake I Made With My Grieving Friend by Celeste Headlee. Hit me between the eyes.

Nutritional advice from Aviva Romm and Karen Hurd. Visit their websites and poke around. My diet needed a complete overhaul, and these two ladies were my main guides. Learning about nutrition has been fun, so if nutrition is your thing, feel free to talk to me in the comments.

 

VIDEOS AND PODCASTS

Quiet, a project from two girls we know through our ballet studio. Inspirational.

Another good interview with Angelina Stanford, by Pam Barnhill.

Gillette video on toxic masculinity.

Upworthy video about gender assumptions.

 

SONGS

No Longer Slaves, an international version.

Raise a Hallelujah by Jonathan and Melissa Helser. Our coop’s choir class (the fact that my kids are getting to be part of a music class is another yay!) is practicing this song. Just happens to be the perfect song for me in this time.

Cover Me by Laura Hackett Park. Recommended by my husband during a major spike in anxiety a couple months ago. I listened to it for days.

Douwe Eisenga, For Mattia. From my dance class.

Peder B. Helland — Always. From the driad dance scene from Prince Caspian.