Liturgy for a Funeral

September 30, 2026 / trotters41 / Leave a comment

by Jonathan

Last month, Elizabeth and I attended a beautiful service for my uncle, John. The following liturgy is adapted from the prayer at the end of the service.

Moments of deep pain and loss sometimes erase words, leaving us wanting to pray but not knowing how. So perhaps, for someone somewhere, these words could offer a guide or starting place for praying in the dark…

Gracious God, we are thankful that we got to witness a life.
A life created by you,
a life called by you,
a man loved by you and by many others.

Thank you for your mercy and thank you for your compassion.
Thank you that you call us home,
and you remind us of home,
and you woo us home.
And John is home.

You are a merciful God who knows that we are made of dust and you love us because you have made us.

There is no wrong that you cannot make right,
there is no sickness that you cannot heal,
there is no darkness that you cannot shed light on.

We long for the day we will see John again,
and we will see you face to face.

Sometimes it seemed like John saw dimly through a glass, and although sometimes we see very dimly through glass too, we long for the day when we will see you, we will see reality as it is, we will see so clearly and we will love so well and be loved so well.

Thank you for your everlasting arms.
Thank you for your compassionate heart.

Thank you that you do not break a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick.

We are your children and we cast ourselves on your care;
be merciful to us oh God.

Thank you for this time and thank you for the time we shared with a friend, brother, and uncle; a man loved by you.

Praise your name,
now until forever,
in Jesus’ name,
Amen

Thoughts on Life from the Halfway Point

September 29, 2026 / trotters41 / Leave a comment

by Jonathan

To be fair, I’m probably closer to the end than the beginning. And if the CDC’s stats are correct, being 45 years old places me well beyond the halfway point for the average American male (it’s 76.5 years). I don’t feel old, and my goal is not to be too macabre, but if you’ll allow it, I’d just like to share some reflections from this side of things.

Perhaps they’ll remind you, or help you, or clarify some things. In whatever case, and for whatever they’re worth, here are some musings from the middle…

1. You will need the Psalms more than you know.

2. Seasons of doubt will come and may keep coming – this is normal and need not be terrifying.

3. Education is never wasted.

4. Beauty matters a lot.

5. Work hard and build something wonderful, then be prepared to realize that that was only the 1st Mountain (Brooks), the 1st Half (Rohr). There is so much more.

6. Read widely, both chronologically and geographically.

7. Be where your feet are.

8. Remember the orienting reality of eternity.

9. Realize that much additional suffering results from our unwillingness to accept the regular pain and suffering of normal life.

10. Seasons are not the same thing as ages.

11. Look for the people you want to be like and then spend more time with them.

12. Grow with your children.

13. Say yes to lots of things when you are young, but know that the better you get at anything, the more you will need to say no. If you don’t learn the goodness of a no, all the wisdom and expertise you gained from saying yes will be diluted.

14. Not everyone who speaks with confidence knows what they’re talking about.

15. Accept book recommendations and music recommendations from your children.

16. Don’t ever stop playing.

17. Read Chesterton.

18. Adore God.

19. Love people.

20. Walk boldly. All will be well.

“Expect the end of the world. Laugh. Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.” ~ Wendell Berry

Seven ideas for teaching your teen to drive (things I wish I’d known)

September 19, 2026 / trotters41 / Leave a comment

Our fourth kiddo just passed her driver’s test this week, and honestly, I’m pretty happy to hang up my hat as the resident driving instructor. It has not been my favorite part of fathering (and that’s on me, not my kids).

Here are some things that helped along the way, and I wish I had known them when I started…

1. Buy these magnets. We put them on both front doors and the rear of the car. I’m positive it reduced the anger and frustration of other drivers, which increases safety for everyone. You don’t want a stressed out student driver getting honked at if you can avoid it. It also caused other drivers to give us a wide berth, which is great, all things considered. We went through two sets of these (they’re pretty cheap on Amazon).

2. Read The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallway. I know I how to drive, but I didn’t know how to TEACH driving. This book has nothing to do with driving, but everything to do with teaching someone a skill. I changed my teaching style dramatically after reading this book.

3. Drill the simple. We spent ample time drilling in order to reduce cognitive load:
– Red light right? Stop, yield, go.
– Red light left? Stop.
– Green light left? Yield, go.
– Green light right? Go.
– Etc.

4. Use CLEAR communication about stopping, and practice it. We trained in a parking lot that if I say STOP, it always means STOP NOW. If I needed them to stop up ahead somewhere, or slow down to a stop, I would say, SLOW TO STOP. It was helpful for me to know that if something came up and I said STOP, they would react immediately and without thinking.

5. Remember that driving is a very complex skill that doesn’t feel like it to you anymore. But it is, and the cognitive load for the newbie is very high.

6. It’s about more than driving. It’s about a kid learning resilience and processing and how to not freak out even when lots of data is coming at them.

7. Your kid doesn’t know what they’re doing, and neither do you. Breathe. Hug. And look forward to a future day when you celebrate with your daughter because she just passed with a 100% in a Chevy ASTRO…

Upcoming Shapes of the Heart Training

September 2, 2026 / trotters41 / Leave a comment

Come and join me for the next Shapes of the Heart training!

September 17th
9-11am (Chicago/Central)
ONLINE

For more info and to register, click here.