Teaching Videos

Here are some short videos discussing a variety of tools and resources I use fairly often in pastoral counseling.

The Shapes Diagram (read more about it here)

Lie-based pain vs. Fact-based pain
This is basically a further explanation of dealing with the triangle from The Shapes Diagram.

Circles of Intimacy:
Regarding boundaries, Jesus, and the dangerous idea that we should all be BFFs.

Two questions to help people feel loved, heard, and truly seen

Boxes
A tool to help folks who are frozen by all the unknowns…

The 3 Spheres of Offense
As someone who was sexually abused as a kid. As someone who once lost a ministry position because I reported potential child abuse. And now, as someone who regularly walks with brave people through the many repercussions of abuse, I must speak.

There’s a critical error that churches, ministries, and organizations sometimes make when discussing abuse. I’d like to define that and then (hopefully) provide a bit of an idea that might help us move forward in a more healthy, more loving, more Christ-like way.

[Read more about this here.]

The Vortex of Terror
Some thoughts on marriage and the painful conflict patterns to avoid.

How to be a human Christian (read more here)

The Wheel
A crucial thing to remember when you feel like life and/or ministry is barely clunking along. Read more about this concept here.

Merging CPM/DMM principles with emotional healing (read more here)

Reflecting Back: a container for the hard conversations

Transition Bridge (and Grief) Questions

I use this handout all the time in pastoral counseling, sometimes with folks who are transitioning countries, and sometimes with folks who are experiencing other types of grief and loss. We’ll discuss how to use this to give a little bit of a grid to all this craziness [COVID-19], and we’ll caution against how some of these questions can be misused and/or mistimed.

Note: The four questions come from a presentation on pastoral counseling, taught by Ron Kallmier. The graphic was created by Jace Allen.

transition questions