Grief and Loss

Losing God and Country {Velvet Ashes}

/ Elizabeth Trotter / Leave a comment

I’m over at Velvet Ashes this week, talking about the pain of re-entry and how it affected my relationship with God.

My re-entry story began with an unplanned return in the midst of COVID-19. I wasn’t the only one—it turned out to be such a common experience. But at the time it seemed like just about the worst thing that could happen to me.

I loved my life overseas. I felt called to it. I found God there, amongst the power cuts, heat waves, dirty streets, and endless needs. Amongst the palm trees, rain clouds, frangipani, and deep sense of purpose.

We had scheduled a regular furlough that year but ended up leaving early, convinced we would be able to fly back to our Cambodian home in a few short months. Paperwork and the pandemic had other plans. And when our overseas life fell apart, I did too.

Pain permeated everything. It was in my heart as I bid farewell to a country and a beloved community without actually saying goodbye, without hugging people and crying in person. But it was in the hearts of others, too, as their lives were similarly uprooted, whether by relocations, pandemic restrictions, or tragic deaths. Why was an all-powerful God allowing such pain?

This God seemed responsible for the anguish and upheaval in my life. I was angry with Him, and in my anger, I refused to speak to Him. At different points during the next couple years, I even considered the idea of not believing in God anymore. If I no longer believed in the Person who caused my pain, the pain would go away, right?

Read the rest at Velvet Ashes.

Just in Time for Summer Book Clubs: A Discussion Guide for The Hats We Wear!

/ Elizabeth Trotter / Leave a comment

Several women have told me they’re planning to use my book, The Hats We Wear: Reflections on Life as a Woman of Faith, for their summer book clubs, and I wanted to develop a discussion guide for them. But you could also use it as a set of journaling prompts if you’re reading through the book on your own.

The book is divided into six sections/hats (Practical Theologian, Emotional Human, Embodied Woman, Wife, Mom, Homeschool Teacher), so I’ve structured the guide around a six-week schedule — although you could split sections into two and take longer if you wanted.

The questions are designed to get readers thinking deeply about their own lives, so a single book club meeting might not be able to cover all of the questions in each section — leaders will probably need to decide which questions to prioritize based on their particular groups. But the discussion guide can at least be a jumping off point for you!

You can download the PDF or access a viewer-only version of the Google doc.

And I’d love to hear about how your book club conversations go or see any photos you might want to share, so feel free to contact me privately with any questions or comments!

Goodnight, I love you, See you in the morning

/ trotters41 / Leave a comment

by Jonathan

Night fell, as it does
The sky turned, the sun set
And a mother died.

A mother is the first home
A calm, a warmth, a safe haven

Nourishment pours from a mothers heart
And we are filled

But sometimes even mothers get sick
And sometimes their comforting arms shrink in the maze of an oncology suite.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a beautiful funeral
The week after a mother died
They all showed up, told their stories, and cried

And life goes on, as it does
Other homes are built
And more stories are told

But this one, this story
Is mine
And even decades after her last night
I remember

I remember her love
I remember her heart
And I remember anew the last words I spoke in the dark to a mother

Goodnight, I love you, See you in the morning.

When Counseling Missionaries, Please Remember these Six Things

/ trotters41 / Leave a comment

I’m so excited that Remnant Counselor Collective launches today and includes an article of mine aimed at helping counselors care for missionaries. It’s about the six things a counselor should remember when counseling missionaries:

1. Don’t try to keep them on the field or get them off the field

2. Remember, they’re people too

3. Get comfortable with grief, because there’s probably a lot of it

4. Be careful with spirituality

5. Always assess for trauma and secondary trauma

6. Remember the basics

Read the full article here: https://www.remnantcounselorcollective.com/…/when.

— Jonathan T.

Book Sale: Digging in the Dirt is $2.99 through Wednesday!

/ trotters41 / Leave a comment

Hey there! I am thrilled to let you know that “Digging in the Dirt: Musings on Missions, Emotions, and Life in the Mud” is ON SALE FOR $2.99 UNTIL WEDNESDAY NIGHT!

https://amzn.to/3SOtnqd (affiliate link)

I put so much of my heart and soul into this book, diving into topics like anger, grief, hope, sex, what to do when the power goes out, what to do when the thief steals, and so much more. Here is the invitation from the back cover:

Welcome to ground level, to the dirt and the mess.

We like the mountain tops and the sunshine. We like green grass under a clear blue sky. We like victory and breakthrough and answered prayers. But sometimes it rains, the shadows deepen, and life turns muddy. Sometimes God seems quiet. What then? What happens when depression descends, or anxiety hangs like a sword overhead? What happens when loneliness suffocates, the thief steals more than stuff, and you get blood on your shoes?

In Digging in the Dirt, Jonathan Trotter delves into the disasters, the darkness, and the deluge, and he offers comfort, presence, and a gentle invitation to hope.

With humor and prose, with poetry and Top Ten lists, Jonathan welcomes us to the dirt, to the places where we actually live. He invites us to boldly see life as it is, with eyes wide open, and reminds us that even when the digging is scary, we are never alone.

To the ones who are dealing with devastation and distress, welcome. To the ones who need to uproot, to pull out, to clear ground, welcome. To the ones who seek desperately to plant seeds of grace and hope in once barren soil, welcome. To the missionary abroad and the believer at home, welcome. Receive the invitation, and join with Jonathan here at ground level, together.

Come, dig in the dirt.

May be an image of 1 person and smiling