“Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause.” Hillsong’s Hosanna brought me to tears this week (even before Doug Lucas quoted the words). I listened to the song over and over. That’s because I am in a place where I am indeed giving everything for His Kingdom’s cause. Over the last few years I have been reluctantly following along in this whole missionary future. I knew it was probably the right thing, but I didn’t really want to do it. As a result I didn’t hear much from God, and I felt dry.
After Jonathan traveled to Cambodia for our initial survey trip, I was excited. He did awesome recon work and answered my questions about how we could live as a family in a 4th world country. Then, when we set a departure date I got cold feet – so much so that we considered calling off the whole thing. We went to our elders and parents and those at Team Expansion for prayer and counsel and took time off to re-examine our call. I really listened to God’s voice, not just Jonathan’s voice. I came out of that time knowing positively that yes, going to Cambodia is God’s plan for our family, not just Jonathan’s crazy idea to save the world. Before, I had felt pressure to go, but not any longer. I had peace and knew God would be with me when I left America.
Since that time, I no longer feel God is silent. I have been able to enjoy worship music again. And it was in that personal revival that I heard Hosanna. I resonated with the idea that I was giving everything, my whole life here in America, for His Kingdom’s cause. I may not be the primary evangelist for our team in Southeast Asia, but I will be serving God with everything I have and supporting the cause of Christ wholeheartedly.