Jonathan is over at A Life Overseas, explaining his “3 Sphere of Offense” model for dealing with abuse.
Again, click here to read the article.
Jonathan is over at A Life Overseas . . .
My book is called Misunderstood because that is how many young TCKs feel.” —Tanya Crossman
It’s true. Many kids grow up among worlds and end up feeling completely and totally misunderstood. They may feel misunderstood by the societies they’ve grown up in and the societies they’ve returned too. They may feel misunderstood by the nuclear families they’ve grown up in and the extended families they’ve returned to.
So what do we do?
What can parents do? Parents who know they don’t understand all the ins and outs of growing up globally?
Well, what do we do when we interact with anyone we want to get to know better? Read a book? Google them? Ask other people? Read an article? Maybe.
But typically the best solution is just to treat them like the unique human beings they are and start asking questions.
I think that one of the simplest things we could do to help the TCKs in our life to feel more seen, more loved, and less misunderstood, is to get better at asking questions.
And of course we have to care about their answers.
Questions give value and open the door to deeper intimacy. Questions are Christ-like, with one scholar identifying 307 individual questions that Jesus asked during his earthly ministry.
It’s hard to ask questions, though, because I have to shut up long enough to listen to the answers. Most of us simply prefer giving answers to asking questions.
Finish reading here.
Women have had their chapter long enough, and my wife’s written about how she’s pretty much failed at following it. I think it’s time for the men.
It’s time we define the ideal man to whom we should compare all men, from henceforth and forevermore, regardless of context or culture, giftedness or calling, personality or preference. THIS is the perfect man.
Now, this isn’t some sort of legalistic standard we’re going to hold all men to. It’s just sort of a guideline for men to aspire to. It’s good for men to have goals and examples. If a guy feels bad because he isn’t as awesome as the Proverbs 32 Man, he shouldn’t. He should be encouraged and challenged to try harder, to honor God with his manhood. Proverbs 32 can provide a sort of prayer guide for the man who falls short, giving him something to lean into and press into and run hard towards. He should humbly allow this interpretation of perfection to take him deeper than his feet could ever wander.
Read “Proverbs 32” over at A Life Overseas.
You have walked with God in this place a long time, and He has walked with you. He has been beside you and inside you this whole time. The same Spirit remains in you and with you in your new place.
This place has changed you, and you have changed this place. Do not be distressed if you don’t understand everything that has happened and that is happening. Remember that the stories God writes are always long. They unfold over generations, not days or weeks or even months.
You have been here long enough to understand some of what God is writing, for both yourself and the people you’ve served, but some things may not make sense yet. Do not fret, and do not fear. The Father will show it all to you One Day. Until That Day, remember that you leave with our love, even as you live within God’s love.
Many years ago you came to this place as a foreigner, and the place you’re going now may also seem foreign to you. Everyone and everything has changed, including you.
So in the days and months and years to come, when you feel misunderstood, remember that no one understands your foreignness like Jesus, the One who came to the most foreign land to show his beloved creatures Truth and Light. He will understand your sorrows like no other.
You have seen so much change in your years here. Change in the people around you, change in yourself, change in the people you’re returning to. And you are tired. So tired. No one can work and live as long as you have and not be tired. Remember that Christ is your rest. (And on your journey, also remember to sleep.)
Circumstances change, and communities change, and in the end, He is all we have to hold onto. So don’t lose hope: He IS our hope. Hold onto Him, and remember that His love never fails. It will never fail you.
Though organizations may fail you, though supporters may fail you, though cultural acquisition may fail you, though years of experience may fail you, though people you love and invested in may fail you, though you may even feel you’ve failed yourself, still one thing will not fail you: the love of the Great Three in One will never fail.
And One Day, this squeezing in your heart and this aching in your bones from all these years and all these travels and all the years and travels to come, it will all be undone. Everything will be made new. Remember this.
Originally appeared at A Life Overseas.
You’re probably going to leave the field.
Someday, somehow, the vast majority of us will say goodbye, pack up, cry tears of joy or sorrow or both, and depart.
How will that work out for you?
Well, frankly, I have no idea. But I do know that there are some things you can do to prepare to leave and some things you can do to prepare to arrive. And while a cross-cultural move is stressful no matter which direction you’re going, knowing some of what to expect and how to prepare really can help.
The first part of this article deals with Leaving Well, while the second part deals with the oft-overlooked importance of Arriving Well.
In Arriving Well, we’ll look at
– Embracing your inner tourist,
– Making movie magic,
– Identifying your needs, and of course,
We’ll wrap up with an Arrival Benediction, which is a prayer for you, the transitioner, from the bottom of my heart.
When Missionaries Starve — A message on the Power, Beauty, and absolute Necessity of the Word of God. Recorded at ICA, Phnom Penh Cambodia, July 2017.
Click the link above to listen to the mp3, or check out the trotters41 podcast here.
I also wrote about this topic over at A Life Overseas.
It’s something that’s caused the rise and fall of kingdoms. It’s confused the most erudite of the educated and been understood by the most childlike of children.
It’s been cherished and treasured by some, burned and ridiculed by others, and it’s absolutely necessary to your emotional health while living and serving abroad.
It is the Word of God.
The more pastoral counseling I do with cross-cultural workers and missionaries – and the more I get to know myself – the more I believe in the Power, Beauty, and absolute Necessity of the Word of God.
Many of us study the Bible as part of our jobs. We read it, parse it, argue about it, and teach it. But sometimes, in the middle of all of that, we forget to eat it.
We end up trying to feed ourselves with yesterday’s manna, and we starve.
We need to return to the slow chewing of the Word. For our own sustenance.
We need so much more than yesterday’s manna, so much more than the gorging of conferences or the regurgitations of famous teachers.
We need time with God and his Word. Today.
Each bite will not be Instagrammable. Each bite will not be magnificent and earth-shattering and memorable, and that’s as it should be, because sometimes you just need the calories.
Regular, non-crisis reading of the Word may seem to make zero difference in your life today or even tomorrow. But I promise you, in a year or ten or fifty, the consistent ingesting of the Word will make all the difference.
Continue reading at A Life Overseas