Elizabeth’s

LISTEN – by Elizabeth

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[From our March Newsletter]

I posted my theme for the year – Listen — around my house.  So I’m on the watch for what God wants to teach me, and He seems to be drawing me to His Spirit.  I know He lives in me, and I’ve had an ongoing conversation with Him for years.  I ask for guidance, He guides. I ask for comfort, He comforts.  But I’m learning He is more than merely a candy machine, dispensing money or answers or happiness when I input some prayers.  He is Holy.  The Almighty God of the universe lives in us.  Sometimes I have forgotten what a big deal this actually is.  Let me also say that my education in the Spirit has been very humbling.  I’ve learned to reverence Him so much more – a powerful God who is not a toy to be played with.

God has always been there for me over the years, as a counselor Who I can trust, Who handles my emotions, and Who heals my soul.  But my relationship with Him as a person was rather emotion-less.  These past few months I’ve been on a journey to fall more in love with God.  I’ve gained this ridiculous longing for Heaven I’ve never had before.  Sure, I knew Heaven was perfect.  It was going to be fun.  But now, I see it differently.  God is there.  And I want to be with Him so much.  This world is so broken, but Heaven is whole.  God is there — that’s why it’s whole.  So I do feel I’m falling more in love with the Lord.  I am so grateful for all He’s done in my heart my entire life, and especially in this new year.  I hope to fall more in love with Him not just the rest of this year but all the years of my life.

P.S.  Some of what I’m learning I read in Francis Chan’s Forgotten God.

Thoughts from Elizabeth in re: “The Call”

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Here are some thoughts I recently shared with our sending church, which also happens to have been our home church for most of our life. 🙂

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I think over the years of talking about missionary work it has seemed more like Jonathan’s dream than mine . . . and I thought it was good enough to just follow my husband to a country God would show us, just like Sarah following Abraham. But after Jonathan’s trip to Cambodia this February it became clear to me that I needed to have the “call” too, and I didn’t feel like I had it. [I use the term Trailing Spouse to describe a person who is married to someone who wants to Go, but who doesn’t personally want to go.]

And so we took a step back to pray and re-evaluate our plans. We talked with the elders here at Red Bridge. They didn’t give us any answers, but they did give excellent counsel in regard to being unified on this issue.

So after praying separately about this, I really felt God calling me to go. I knew I had been given the freedom to stay in America, but when I contemplated that, it just wasn’t right. I knew we were supposed to go, and this time I knew God had told ME, not just Jonathan. I had never doubted Jonathan’s call, but I needed to hear it personally from God.

I just couldn’t seem to get over my fears of leaving the country. The song “Safe in His Arms” by Phil Wickham comforted me during this time – knowing God was going with me to a foreign country. I had forgotten He lived not only in America but elsewhere! After this time I felt sure that God was calling me to go – I no longer felt forced by my husband. So although it was a stressful time I am thankful we took that time to make sure both of us were equally committed to going to a faraway place to serve God.

I see my role overseas as similar to what it is here. I’ll still be the supportive ministry wife and home school mom. (Note to the uninitiated: those are big jobs.) I even see Jonathan’s role as not changing – he’ll still be an evangelist. (I have loved watching him transition to evangelism within Red Bridge’s Kids for Christ ministry.)

Besides all that normal ministry wife and homeschool mom work, I will be learning the language as full time as possible.

— Elizabeth

Fearless – by Elizabeth

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Recently Red Bridge’s missionary family to Germany visited us.  After speaking on Sunday they showed pictures set to a Zoe Group song.  The song could have been written solely for me.

We are not afraid, to follow where You lead, Leaving what we know, for what we cannot see. We are not afraid for we are not alone, and so we’ll go with You into the unknown.

I am a creature of habit.  I feed my beloved family with regular trips to Aldi.  I fund my children’s education through the public library.  I speak English at home and out.  I don’t even like moving across town, and change of any kind is hard for me.  I cried when I heard these words.

We are not afraid to love the way You do, to serve with the same grace we receive from You.  We are not afraid to look beyond ourselves, and offer hope to those who cannot help themselves.

Can I give up my comfortable life to share eternity with people who don’t know the truth about Jesus?  I cried some more.

We are not afraid though some say we should wait, the cost is just too high, the danger is too great.  We are not afraid to move when You say move,   Trusting in Your voice, We will follow You.

I’ve met people who have a hard time understanding why we would leave the country with young children, almost as if they think they love my children more than I do, more than the God who would ask me to go.  I scored 100% on harm avoidance in one of Team Expansion’s psychologist’s tests, so safety is very important to me too.  But He has asked me to move, and I cried even more.

We will be fearless for You.  Fearless for You.  We will be faithful in all that we do.  If we step out on the waves or walk through the flames, Whatever you ask us to do, we will be fearless for You.

But do I feel fearless?  Not so much.  I’m not sure I have to be completely fearless, but I am determined to walk through the fear and do it anyway.  These days fear doesn’t haunt me nearly so much as it did before, but I still need to have faith that He will be with me, that I’m not alone.

When I’m alone with this song, I practically shout those words to Him.  I want so desperately to be fearless for Him.  But in the meantime I’ll have to settle for trusting Him to help me through the fears.

Why Go? (some thoughts from Elizabeth)

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“Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause.” Hillsong’s Hosanna brought me to tears this week (even before Doug Lucas quoted the words). I listened to the song over and over. That’s because I am in a place where I am indeed giving everything for His Kingdom’s cause. Over the last few years I have been reluctantly following along in this whole missionary future. I knew it was probably the right thing, but I didn’t really want to do it. As a result I didn’t hear much from God, and I felt dry.

After Jonathan traveled to Cambodia for our initial survey trip, I was excited. He did awesome recon work and answered my questions about how we could live as a family in a 4th world country. Then, when we set a departure date I got cold feet – so much so that we considered calling off the whole thing. We went to our elders and parents and those at Team Expansion for prayer and counsel and took time off to re-examine our call. I really listened to God’s voice, not just Jonathan’s voice. I came out of that time knowing positively that yes, going to Cambodia is God’s plan for our family, not just Jonathan’s crazy idea to save the world. Before, I had felt pressure to go, but not any longer. I had peace and knew God would be with me when I left America.

Since that time, I no longer feel God is silent. I have been able to enjoy worship music again. And it was in that personal revival that I heard Hosanna. I resonated with the idea that I was giving everything, my whole life here in America, for His Kingdom’s cause. I may not be the primary evangelist for our team in Southeast Asia, but I will be serving God with everything I have and supporting the cause of Christ wholeheartedly.

On Being Safe, by Elizabeth

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When Jonathan stepped off the plane from Cambodia I gave him the Phil Wickham CD Heaven and Earth. It is such a treasure. In fact, the 6th song on the album, Safe, helped me say YES to overseas missions. It echoed something Wendy Gibson, one of our Team Expansion coaches, told me: I can trust God to be with me across the ocean. The chorus sings: “You will be safe in His arms, the hands that hold the world are holding your heart. This is the promise He made, He will be with you always, when everything is falling apart you will be safe in His arms.” Those words gave and give me comfort in knowing God is always with me, wherever I am. Somehow I had forgotten. Phil and Wendy reminded me.