A good friend asked me when I’m going to blog again. My answer to her was: I don’t know. I’ve jotted down things to blog about for months. Light-hearted stuff about third culture kids, Cambodian traffic, or the educational differences between America and Cambodia. But I didn’t feel strongly enough about those topics to make myself blog about them.
I could have blogged about watching parents of TCK’s say goodbye to their high school graduates, and how sad that makes me. But I just blogged about sad stuff, and I wasn’t prepared to do that to myself or my readers so soon after my last downer series.
I considered writing any number of parts about my testimony – a more detailed story of my eating disorder journey, how God taught me to battle worry and anxiety, what I’ve learned about ministry and relationships from my doula training, or how God has used Caring for the Heart counseling in my life. I wasn’t sure they were directly related to a missionary-in-Cambodia blog, though, and I do try to keep my blogging focused – well, most of the time, anyway.
I’ve been thinking about the orphanage situation in Cambodia for months, and I do feel strongly about it. But I didn’t think I could blog about it. I’m not an expert on orphanages, and I thought I might feel a bit sheepish discussing something about which I know so very little. I am, however, an expert on how I think and feel about orphanages, now that I’ve lived next to one for 18 months, and have seen the good, the bad, and ugly. But my neighbors are real people with whom I have real relationships, and I didn’t want to demean their lives by blogging about them, despite the intensity of my frustration toward institutionalized care. I was also afraid it would be too controversial, and I just don’t have the emotional stamina for controversy.
Meanwhile, this summer, my mom visited me for two wonderful weeks. My husband left the country for two lonely weeks, and when he returned, he brought me a massive load of homeschool books to organize. I’ve spent a lot of time planning and preparing for our next school year this summer, and I also re-started Khmer language lessons.
Now, I could have blogged about language, but believe me, that situation wasn’t pretty. I doubted my role as a missionary wife. I wondered if my life had any purpose if I couldn’t speak this language very well. (While it’s true that I can’t speak this language very well, it’s also true that I don’t have much time to devote to it either. See above paragraph for explanation.) Fortunately, my despondency was short-lived, and I came to terms with my place in the missions world after about two weeks of distress — quite long enough to inflict an unhappy wife on my wonderful husband.
So how do I answer the question of when I am going to blog again? Well, today, I’m answering it by blogging about the things I’m not going to blog about, plus one thing I am going to blog about. Earlier this summer, I wanted to write about my love-hate relationship with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the fathers of our faith. I hesitated because I wasn’t sure if it was missionary-blog-worthy . . . but talking about the Bible can’t be that off-topic, can it?? When you’ve finished reading my thoughts, I hope you’ll reply with some of your own favorite Bible stories and characters. (Why would I ask for a reply? Because I love talking about Bible stories, and because I’m a homeschool mom, and I don’t get out much. See above paragraph.)
Ok? Here goes.
High points – That God promised to bless all peoples on earth through him, and even though that’s really about God and not about Abraham, it’s one of my favorite Bible passages, thanks mostly to the Kairos course we took with Team Expansion (Genesis 12:3). His faith in, and friendship with, God (James 2:23). His willingness to leave his homeland (Genesis 12:4).
Low points – Lying about his wife to save his own skin (Genesis 12:13). Lying about his wife to save his own skin, again (Genesis 20:2). Taking his wife’s advice to try to force God’s promise (Genesis 16:2). Letting his wife be cruel to Hagar (Genesis 16:6).
High points – Walking and meditating in the fields in the evening (Genesis 24:63). Finding special comfort in his wife after the death of his mother (Genesis 24:67).
Low Points – Loving one son more than the other (Genesis 25:28). Like his father before him, lying about his wife to save his own skin (Genesis 26:7).
High point – His willingness to do anything for the woman he loved (Genesis 29:18).
Low points – Cheating his brother out of his inheritance (Genesis 25:31, Genesis 27). In the beginning, only loving and serving God conditionally (Genesis 28:20-21). Showing favoritism in his family, like his father before him (Genesis 29:31, 37:3, 42:38). Following in his grandfather’s footsteps and listening to his wife’s family advice (Genesis 30).
Now it’s your turn. Please pretty please? Because Bible stories make me happy? Thanks 🙂