I posted this on Facebook and thought I would share it here too. ~Elizabeth
Are you overwhelmed by the thought of homeschooling overseas?
Are you confused about how to begin homeschooling in those early years?
Or perhaps you’ve been homeschooling for a while and feel pretty comfortable with it, but your student is about to start high school, and you feel nervous all over again?
If so, I’d love to help!
I’ve been homeschooling my four children for 15 years, including eight years in a developing country with regular power and water cuts.
I’ve launched one child to university (engineering school), I’m preparing to launch another (who is currently taking dual credit classes), and I’m still teaching my 13- and 15-year-olds at home.
After a decade and a half, this homeschooling venture feels pretty natural to our family, but I remember how intimidated I felt both in the early years and when my oldest started high school.
I’m offering an introductory rate of $30 per session for homeschool consulting in the months of July and August.
You can fill out the intake form, and I’ll get in contact with you soon!
Topics we can cover include:
homeschooling overseas
the early years
high school and that dreaded transcript
building your homeschool around your strengths while shoring up your weak spots
recognizing when you need outside help
how to approach learning issues, scheduling issues, and discipline/connection issues
answering any curriculum questions you have
evaluating (and celebrating!) your progress
In addition to my 15 years of homeschooling both in the States and in Cambodia, I have experience in:
developing hands-on math and science classes for coops
[Photo circa 2013, Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A visitor had just brought us some curriculum, and I was very excited. Note the periodic table in the background.]
You might also be interested in my new book, The Hats We Wear: Reflections on Life as a Woman of Faith, which addresses six different aspects of being a woman of faith, with sections on spirituality, emotions, and embodied living, as well as marriage, motherhood, and homeschooling. ~Elizabeth
“What’s your favorite math curriculum?” This was one of the questions I received when I announced I was tutoring math again. After replying to the question, I realized some of my readers might be interested in my perspective, so I revised and expanded my response and am sharing it here.
I LOVE math. I got so excited when my oldest started studying the coordinate plane in algebra that I began drawing on the walls and talking about trigonometry and calculus (see photo below). That was way too much, way too soon, and my husband had to pull me back from my adventure in Mathland before my student’s brain melted down. Now I know not to get too ahead of myself.
But anyway, back to the math curriculum. Here are my thoughts on Saxon, Shormann, Teaching Textbooks, Math-U-See, and Singapore, along with a brief mention of Right Start Math, Life of Fred, Math with Confidence, and Understand Math. If you have thoughts on these or other curricula, I’d love to hear from you in the comments! And if you stick around to the end, there’s not just one, but two BONUS sections for you.
But before we get to the reviews, here’s my math background if you’re interested: I have a bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering with a minor in chemistry from the Missouri University of Science and Technology. I’ve been tutoring math (including SAT/ACT prep) and teaching hands-on math classes at homeschool coops for the past 18 years. I’ve also homeschooled my four children in math since the beginning.
SAXON
Saxon is my favorite math curriculum. I love its spiral approach that keeps old material fresh for students. I love how rigorous and straightforward it is. But I wasn’t always such a big fan of Saxon. In my early years of homeschooling, I thought “everybody used Saxon,” and I didn’t want to be like everybody else. I wanted to be different. So I chose Singapore.
Later, when I was looking for something to replace Teaching Textbooks (more on that below), Jonathan encouraged me to try Saxon. He said it worked for him as a teenager. And of course by that time I knew that not everybody was using Saxon and that some people even hated it. This solved my hang-up of not wanting to be like everyone else. I decided to try Saxon, and I haven’t looked back. It’s worked for all four of my children, even though they all learn in different ways.
Something I really like about Saxon is that each problem is linked to the lesson number where that particular skill was taught. This makes it easy to locate the teaching on a particular topic if your student is having trouble with a problem.
I see two main weaknesses in Saxon. As an engineering mom, I feel I’m able to cover those weakness, but that might not work for everyone. The first weakness is that there’s not a video explanation for each problem if the student gets it wrong — but I know I can provide that (plus there’s a solutions manual). Second, Saxon doesn’t provide much of a conceptual framework for students who want to know WHY the math is the way it is. (Saxon uses a “procedural approach” rather than a “conceptual approach.”) But again, I feel I can provide the conceptual framework.
And for busy moms, there’s a third weakness: you have to do all the grading yourself.
The strength of Saxon lies in it skills building, constant review, and preparation for ACT/SAT and college math, and for me, those strengths overcome its weaknesses. My oldest did really well on ACT math with his Saxon work. He’s now taking calc in college and doing well. And as a junior, my second just tested into any college math class he wants to take, including calc if he wanted (though he doesn’t want!).
As I mentioned previously, I use Singapore (more on that below) in elementary school and switch each child over to Saxon at a certain point — usually after Singapore 5 or 6. With my youngest, I noticed the frustration level increasing during Singapore 4, so I switched her over earlier. Once I did that, she really made strides in math. Now our math lessons proceed more smoothly and with much less stress.
SHORMANN MATH
If you like Saxon but need more student support, you might want to look into Shormann Math. Dr. Shormann produced the DIVE CDs that correlate to Saxon lessons (we use these CDs). Later he went on to create his own curriculum that’s similar to Saxon but more updated/modern and does extend all the way through Calculus. I have not used Shormann Math, but I do know he provides video explanation of each problem if the student gets it wrong, and he may even provide grading and student support online.
TEACHING TEXTBOOKS
As with any curriculum, Teaching Textbooks has strengths and weaknesses, but you can get around the weaknesses if you know what to watch out for. The strength of Teaching Textbooks is that it provides a video explanation for each problem if the student gets it wrong. Also, you don’t have to do the grading.
The weakness is that the student gets a second chance to solve each problem (which from one point of view could be considered a strength). However, if the student gets the problem right on the second chance, it still registers as correct in the gradebook. If a parent is not aware of this feature, they may be lulled into a false sense of security regarding their child’s progress. So as a parent you just have to be watching the gradebook.
I began using Teaching Textbooks when my oldest was heading into junior high. I wanted to lighten my workload and transition him from direct instruction from me to more independent learning. At that time Sonlight was still recommending Teaching Textbooks, so I tried it out. After our first year with Teaching Textbooks, I realized it wasn’t as rigorous as I wanted it to be, and that’s when I switched to Saxon. But not everyone wants or needs that sort of rigor, and that’s ok.
Something I love about Teaching Textbooks is that you can see at a glance what your child is struggling with. You can see what they got wrong, when they needed a hint, and when they used their second try. It’s all recorded in the gradebook. And you can usually find patterns in their wrong answers, but you have to be paying attention to the gradebook and lessons. It’s usually sufficient to check on progress once a week to look for patterns. Then you can work to clarify any misunderstandings and strengthen any missing/weak skills. These features are why I love tutoring students who are using Teaching Textbooks: it’s fairly straightforward to figure out whether a student has mastered a certain skill.
Like Saxon, Teaching Textbooks links each problem to the lesson where that skill was taught so that you can go back and review material if you need.
SINGAPORE MATH
I loved using Singapore in elementary school. It was fun in the early years, and I love the way they use paper folding and cutting activities to “prove” geometric principles. I also love the way they model percent problems, which I adopted into my repertoire and still use to solve percent problems — even with Saxon books. I once heard Dr. Jay Wile, whose expertise I respect and whose chemistry program I love, recommend Singapore for the early years.
But there’s not much review in Singapore, so you have to get creative to provide enough review to solidify skills. And the word problems can get really difficult really quickly, which can stress out a young child. I switched each child over to Saxon at some point, some earlier than others (as mentioned above). However, I still recommend Singapore in the early years (K-3)!
MATH-U-SEE
I have only a little experience with Math-U-See, but I like what I’ve seen so far. The video instruction is good. Math-U-See takes a mastery approach (where students stay with one topic until they’ve mastered it) rather than a spiral approach like Saxon or Teaching Textbooks, but from what I’ve seen and heard, Math-U-See is a quality program that can take the frustration out of math for many children.
KATE’S HOMESCHOOL MATH HELP
Kate Snow is brilliant. She’s a Harvard-educated math teacher who specializes in helping homeschool parents. She has a lot of free resources on her website, including several video tutorials, plus she’s published her own elementary math curriculum called Math with Confidence. I use Kate’s arithmetic strategies when tutoring younger children. And although I haven’t purchased her curriculum, I always recommend Kate’s website to parents whose younger children are struggling with math.
LIFE OF FRED
A lot of people ask about Life of Fred and/or claim it’s helped their child either understand math or stop hating math. I don’t have any actual experience with Life of Fred, so I can’t comment on it except to say that my gut reaction is that it doesn’t provide enough practice.
RIGHT START MATH
I haven’t used Right Start Math either, but I’ve heard really good things about it from people I trust. It’s a conceptual program that relies heavily on manipulatives and intensive teacher interaction. Some kids really want those conceptual explanations, and some aren’t that interested. But if you want to lay a good foundation for mathematical thinking, Right Start should be a good option.
UNDERSTAND MATH: REASONS FOR THE RULES
Dr. Andrew Kelley’s new book, Understand Math: Reasons for the Rules, can help homeschool moms explain why math algorithms are the way they are. My children often asked me to explain underlying mathematical principles, and I tried my best to help them. But math had come so easy for me that I hadn’t always thought about some of these deeper questions.
Understand Math is written as a supplement to your regular math curriculum (which you still need for sufficient practice), and it’s written directly to the student, which means you as a parent don’t need to be a math expert in order to help your child(ren) understand math. Once they understand why they’re supposed to follow certain rules, they’ll be set up for more success.
I found a lot of help from Kate Snow for teaching the four basic operations (addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division), but this new resource (published in 2025) will take homeschool moms all the way from fractions in elementary school to algebra, trig, and calculus in high school.
Kelley has also created a series of YouTube videos explaining some of these concepts, including division by zero, exponents of zero and negative one, and logarithms, a topic which is nearly universally challenging for students.
If you know you’re going to want some extra help explaining math but don’t have the finances for an outside tutor or teacher, this hardcover book is a great investment. On his website, Kelley also offers a free 60-page sample of the book, which includes sections from every chapter.
BONUS: MANIPULATIVES TO INVEST IN
In the early ages, manipulatives are so important. Here are my three favorite manipulatives that I still use on a regular basis:
Cuisenaire Rods. This set of color-coded 1-cm through 10-cm rods helps with addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and the concepts of perimeter and area. Plus they’re super fun to play with.
Base 10 Blocks. Understanding base 10 is an integral part of mathematics, whether we’re talking about borrowing and carrying (renaming/regrouping) in the younger grades or scientific notation and logarithms/exponents in the older grades. Base 10 blocks are a really helpful visual and kinesthetic way to help children understand base 10.
Fraction Circles. If you’re teaching fractions and running up against some frustration, fraction circles can really save the day! Fractions are important not only in upper elementary school when you first learn about common denominators and reciprocals but also in higher level math, where fluency with fractions is essential for Algebra 2 and above. So give your kid a good foundation with fraction circles.
BONUS: OTHER IMPORTANT MATH TOOLS
Flash Cards. Taking the time early on to memorize math facts is so important. It pays dividends later when you get into fractions, long division, and multi-digit multiplication. You want those math facts to be automatic so that your child can focus on the new algorithms they’re learning and practicing.
Skip Counting Songs. Skip counting songs can help your child memorize their math facts, and the songs help with factoring later on.
Hundred Chart. I love a good hundred chart! It’s so useful in teaching prime numbers and the divisibility rules. In the early years I used it almost every day.
Desmos Graphing Calculator. I spent so much money on graphing calculators in high school and college, but you don’t need to do that anymore. The Desmos app is free!
Understanding the connections between algebra and geometry (analytic geometry) is incredibly important starting at the algebra or pre-algebra level (depending on the curriculum). You don’t need a graphing function until Algebra 2, but the foundations are being laid early on, so be sure to make those connections between the algebraic functions and the coordinate plane by doing lots of graphing problems. (A graphing notebook can be helpful here.)
What about you? Any tools, curricula, or supplements you’ve found essential in math instruction?
Christine Paterson of FieldPartner International and I recently had a conversation about repatriation (among various other cross-cultural topics). It’s the first time I’ve talked about re-entry in an interview, and I think it might be the first recorded interview I’ve done since our book launched in 2019.
It was an honor to be invited to Christine’s channel and a pleasure to chat with her. You can access the video interview on the FieldPartner website or on YouTube, or you can listen to the audio version on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
I haven’t published a Favorite Things post for over two years – not since the pandemic began – and I wasn’t sure exactly how to begin them again. But there were all these little things I wanted to talk about. Things that might seem superficial or insignificant but that help me enjoy life more, and those things are important.
There’s so much heaviness in the world right now; there has been for quite some time. I’ve always tended to talk about big, heavy things, but I don’t know how to talk about some of these things. I want to acknowledge the distressing things going on in the world right now (the war in Ukraine, the gun violence in the States, the difficult economy, the unpredictability of the pandemic, the continuing political divisions in my country). They are big, and they are important, and they weigh on me – as I’m sure they weigh on you.
But while we can’t ignore the heaviness, I also don’t want to ignore the little joys in life. So today I’m going to inject a little lightness into this blog with some of the things that I’ve been enjoying in my life over the past year or so. Who knows? Maybe this post will be the thing that will inspire me write again more frequently.
SKIN CARE AND HAIR CARE
Differen (adapalene) gel. For years I’ve been using 2% salicylic acid to care for my oily, acne-prone skin. Then I read about differin gel, which is the only over-the-counter FDA-approved prescription strength retinoid. Retinoids are a form of topical Vitamin A that are good for both acne and signs of aging. Differin is designed more for anti-acne purposes than anti-aging purposes, but it still does double duty. Of course, I have responsibly paired the adapalene with a good sunscreen to protect from further sun damage and a good nighttime moisturizer to counteract the drying effects of the retinoid. (These are both from Cerave and are both designed for the oily skin that I have.)
Highlights. I walked into a salon in February searching for myself. That’s a pretty big statement, so let me unpack it. The whole time I was in Cambodia, I didn’t do much with my hair. I kept it long and put it in braids, buns, or ponytails. The heat made it necessary to keep hair off your neck (except maybe once a year in December), and the constantly blowing fans that were supposed to reduce the effects of that heat made it necessary to keep hair off your face, too. Result: boring hairstyles. Additionally, over the decade that I lived in Cambodia, my hair turned from a lighter blonde to what my stylist would call a “dark blonde.” (In my mind, it was sooo dark, but she assured me it really wasn’t.)
So I walked into the salon looking for something different, something new – or was I really looking for something old? I didn’t know what the lighter color and shorter length was going to look like or feel like, but when my stylist turned me around to look at the back of my hair in the mirror, I nearly cried. I looked like the me I had always known. (30+ years is a long time to stay naturally blonde.) I did the highlights for me, but it turned out that my husband loved them too. Score one for Team Trotter.
Purple shampoo. Purple shampoo counteracts the brassiness/yellowness of blonde highlights and keeps them looking fresh. I use this about once a week, and it makes me happy.
Lather/Rinse/Repeat. The bleach used for blonde highlights can damage your hair, and I did notice more dryness and brittleness after getting the highlights. Then I started double conditioning, and everything is soft again. I don’t know why this works or why one application of conditioner isn’t enough. I only know that this does work.
Heatless curls. This solves two problems: damage from heating tools and a lack of time (or lack of commitment to the time it would take) to style my hair. I just sleep in a curling ribbon (robe-curl-style), and in the morning I take it out. Voila! I have curls. They loosen up throughout the day and become waves, but I’m happy with both. I do this once or twice a week and definitely on Sundays!
Silk pillowcase. I bought one of these to protect my skin and hair from excess tugging and pulling. At first I didn’t notice that much of a difference until one night when I had to sleep without the silk one. Ouch! Everything hurt. These are inexpensive and are a nice way to pamper yourself.
HEALTH AND FITNESS
Tempeh. I hadn’t tried tempeh because I just couldn’t get over the mental hurdle of fermented soybeans. (And also I had seen some photos of it, ew.) But since it’s such a healthy, high-protein alternative to meat, and since my family had gotten tired of tofu scramble, I needed some new recipes. And you know what? Tempeh is delicious, filling, and easy. We do Tempeh Bolognese, Tempeh Tacos, and Sweet and Sour Tempeh (which tastes almost like my Cambodian helper’s Sweet and Sour dish).
Roastaroma tea. I go through phases of really liking this tea and then not craving it at all. I’m currently in a craving stage. It’s bitter, like dark chocolate (I go for 90% these days, by the way), and it’s what made me realize that I actually like bitter. I think it’s one of the flavors God made us to enjoy, but our modern packaged food culture, with all its salt, sugar, and unhealthy fats, has dulled our appreciation for its unique flavor.
I also go in for Chai Green Tea from time to time, which gives the health benefits of green tea without the flavor of plain green tea, which for some reason I don’t care for. My favorite flavors are still probably peppermint and spearmint (I prefer spearmint, but it’s harder to find).
Daily walk. I’ve realized that life in Joplin, MO, as a homeschool educator and freelance editor is not as naturally active as my life in Phnom Penh, where I climbed endless sets of staircases and walked the streets frequently. So about a year ago I added a short one-mile walk to my day (Leslie Sansone anyone??). I go through phases where I get busy and forget, but I always feel better on the weeks when I consistently take a one-mile walk in the afternoon, before doing a harder workout after supper.
Step workouts/heavier weights. About the time I realized I needed more activity in my life, I also realized I needed to level up my exercise regime. I already had a step with risers, and I bought an extra set of risers to increase the step height. I already had 3 kg weights (6.6 lbs) from Cambodia, but I bought a set of 8 lb dumbbells from the local sports store. Each of these things has helped me increase my fitness and reduce my stress – because, let’s face it, exercise is more about happiness than about appearance.
In fact I have quite the ritual for evening stress relief. I exercise, I take my magnesium supplements, I take a relaxing shower, and I read in bed. I don’t know why, but reading in bed puts me to sleep pretty fast. I need to read a few pages of fiction (I’m currently in a P.G. Wodehouse novel) to put my mind to sleep, even if I’m already physically exhausted. This of course means it can take me a long time to get through a novel.
FAMILY MOVIE NIGHTS
One of my favorite things to do is introduce my kids to the movies I enjoyed as a child. They’ve enjoyed this tradition so much that from time to time they ask if I remember any other movies from my childhood that they haven’t seen. Here I’m highlighting the funny ones in alphabetical order (because it’s hard to choose a favorite, though Bejeweled and North Avenue Irregulars come close).
Bejeweled. A 1990s Disney Channel mystery movie. So hilarious (but also hard to find).
Candleshoe. A 1970s Disney mystery with Jodie Foster. May have initiated my lifelong love affair with “Greensleeves.”
Follow That Bird. A 1980s Sesame Street movie. Cleverly written to be enjoyable by adults and children alike, and impressive in its inclusion.
Freaky Friday. The 1970s Disney version, of course.
No Deposit, No Return. A 1970s classic caper movie, also by Disney. Utterly unrealistic but tons of fun.
Savannah Smiles. A 1980s B movie that is absolutely hilarious. Shares some similarities with No Deposit, No Return.
The North Avenue Irregulars. Another 1970s flick. A bunch of church ladies on a crazy adventure. My children know that to make me laugh, all they have to do is quote a random line from this movie.
VOCATION Stories Set Free. A year ago I didn’t have a business. Now I’m booked a month or two in advance. I didn’t believe in myself, but Jonathan encouraged me to put myself out there anyway. I’m glad I took the risk! I love my clients. I believe in the work they are doing, and I love reading their words and working with them to shape and smooth their stories. It is an absolute privilege to work with writers, and I’m thankful.
A Life Overseas. I continue to lead the missions website that I’ve been leading for 7 years. I love my writers, both new and known. I love receiving their submissions and sharing their true and beautiful messages with a larger community. I love helping them craft their words until they are just right. Readers still talk about how much they appreciate the articles, and the journey continues to be an exciting one (for example I’ve added several new writers this past year, and I’m adding a few more soon). For me this has been a very fulfilling ministry, one that I enjoy and one where I feel that my gifts are being used for Kingdom purposes.
Biologos and the Integrate curriculum launch (this is the one where I got to meet Francis Collins!!!). We talked about our unforgettable trip to D.C. on Facebook, but I never wrote about it here. A few years ago, frustrated with the quality of homeschool science materials, I started googling. I found the Biologos site and their pilot program for Integrate, a program that seeks to integrate quality science with a Biblical worldview. The truth is, you don’t have to give up good science to be a Christian, and you don’t have to give up Christianity to be a scientist. I have always believed this. Faith and science don’t have to be at odds. In fact, some of my greatest moments of awe and worship happen when I study science.
I applied for the Integrate pilot program and began piloting sample modules with my older children. Later when the curriculum was published and Biologos decided to throw a launch party for it, they invited me to come be a part of it. I felt out of my depth – nearly everyone there was a PhD scientist, and I was just this little homeschool mom with a stale bachelor’s degree in engineering. I can’t tell you what it did for my soul to be invited to spend time with this special group of people. For so long I have felt so alone. I couldn’t bond over a shared love of science with my Christian community, and I couldn’t relate to non-believing scientists on the deepest levels of reality. I was always hiding a part of me. But when I was with the Biologos people, I didn’t feel I had to hide anything. All parts of me were welcomed and accepted. And when we sang the Doxology together, I cried. I felt at home with them, even if for just a little while.
(Bonus: I’m heading to a homeschool convention in July to support the Biologos booth. I’m so excited!)
(Bonus to the Bonus: I might even get to meet Susan Wise Bauer at this convention.)
SPIRITUALITY
College Heights Christian Church – especially the New Creation Sunday School class. The believers in this class showed me that you can be faithful to the Scriptures without being corrupted by MAGA nationalism. They have restored my faith in the people of God, and I will be forever grateful for that.
My spiritual life really suffered over the last two years. When we returned to the U.S., I looked on in horror as American Christianity became infected with MAGA idolatry. I questioned everything I had ever known. It’s not like I hadn’t questioned things before. I had. I’d had plenty of faith crises in my life (and I’d written about them publicly), but this felt entirely different. Had I devoted my life to a religious movement that was only ever masquerading as biblical Christianity but was actually founded on an insidious quest for political power? I wasn’t sure I wanted my name associated with this political movement. It was some of the most profound pain I have ever experienced.
Today, I still believe Christianity is true – when it is unfettered by the base desire for power. In many ways it was the people at this local church who helped me believe it was possible to uncouple Christianity from power-hungry political movements.
But in addition to restoring my faith in faith, these people have welcomed us into their family. I felt very bruised and battered after losing Cambodia so suddenly and unexpectedly. Cambodia was my whole life. I’d never wanted that life, but after a few years, I fell in love. I didn’t know how to live without it. These people have gently taken care of our needs and showed me how to belong again.
After 20 years of sitting separately from my husband in church, it has been a relief to sit in the back row with my whole family and just be. No need to volunteer or minister to anyone. Just rest and recover. At the same time, it’s comforting to know that, when I’m ready, our church family has plenty of ministry opportunities for me to take part in. It’s a good place to be. (Oh, and the youth group has been great for our kids!)
LIFE
My house. A year and a half after signing the papers, I still can’t believe I got this amazing house. The yard, which is always wonderful, is especially beautiful right now. I have my own office. I have my own workout room. I have my own bathroom (this wasn’t always true in Cambodia). And due to multiple small miracles, we can actually afford this house, even in this tight economy.
My husband. He is still my best friend, and after 22 years I am more in love with him than I have ever been. We have two standing date nights a week. (Note: Date night doesn’t mean you have to spend money, although we sometimes do. Date night can be a walk in the neighborhood and coffee on the porch).
Years 18 to 21 were a strain on us. I had multiple health problems which interfered with our marriage; we repatriated unexpectedly to the States in the middle of a pandemic; and we self-isolated for longer than most to protect Jonathan’s health, which led to painful social isolation. Add in a faith crisis, and well, those were hard years. But we have found ourselves and found each other again since settling in this house, and marriage is good.
My self. When I look back over this list, I realize that some of the things I’ve done or am doing are about finding myself again. You change when you live overseas for a long period of time. You can’t help it. And when you come back, you’re different. You don’t know exactly where you fit, and you don’t know exactly who you are. For instance, I found that being an overseas missionary had become wedded to my identity in a way I hadn’t expected (especially since I never wanted to go in the first place!). Losing the expat life was a big loss and a big shift in my identity that I had to grapple with.
I think some of the items in this Favorite Things post have been about trying to find my place in my new life, about trying to figure out who Elizabeth Trotter is in this context. I was so unhappy for so long. It took me 12 months to truly accept that this was my new life, and 18 months to truly love it. So I feel like celebrating the seemingly little things that have helped me on my journey to love my new life in Joplin, MO. In the end, I think that’s really what this article was about.
One of my favorite parts about Christmas in Cambodia was the lack of commercialism. I particularly remember our first Christmas there. We took our children to the Russian Market (Tuol Tom Poung) and gave them each $5 to pick out presents for their siblings. Then we went home and took turns wrapping each other’s presents.
On Christmas morning the children opened their presents. They were thrilled with the simple gifts they’d been given. And watching their collective joy was a gift to me. With no cultural cues that they needed a multitude of expensive presents, they were satisfied with small things.
My other favorite part about Christmas in Cambodia was celebrating it with our team. With no extended family nearby, expats must forge their own on-field family. Early on, I had realized that my children would never experience the type of large extended family I had grown up with — dozens of cousins, aunts, and uncles who gather at Grandma and Grandpa’s house on holidays. And I grieved over that.
But every Christmas we celebrated with teammates. I watched as our children interacted with teammates like they were cousins, aunts, and uncles — and my heart healed a little. My children were going to experience something similar to my childhood; they just weren’t related to these people.
Truly, teammates are like family. They take care of you when you are in need, you spend holidays with them, and sometimes you even fight with them. Our first Thanksgiving in Cambodia involved both sickness and caretaking: our children had contracted hand, foot, and mouth disease, and we were all quarantining at home. Teammates brought us holiday-themed food to cheer us up; at least we could celebrate in isolation.
The experience of Team Christmas was a cornerstone of life on the field, and it was something I particularly missed during Christmas 2020.
Christmas 2021 was different. Some of our old teammates have also repatriated, and they were traveling through our hometown the week before Christmas. They stopped and spent the weekend with us. We used to have regular game nights with them. I went out with the wife every few months in Cambodia, and she and I have done nearly all the Velvet Ashes retreats together (although we’ve had to switch to retreating virtually since moving back to the States).
It had been over two years since we’d seen them in person, since we had farewelled them at the Phnom Penh International Airport. And it was good. We played games. We talked about all the things. And we began a new tradition: gingerbread house competition. We enjoyed it so much we’ve decided to do it again next year.
We hit a cold snap that weekend, and I froze. This was a major departure from Christmas in Cambodia, where it was always hot and sweaty. Thankfully Joplin weather warmed up nicely for Christmas Day.
Today is the twelfth day of Christmas, and I guess I didn’t want to say goodbye to Christmastide without honoring my relationships with teammates, both on and off the field. The years were good, and the years were hard, but the holidays were made sweeter by the presence of good friends. I’m grateful I could experience that sweetness once again in 2021.
Jonathan & Elizabeth Trotter 