by Elizabeth
I’ve been watching parents in the international community say goodbye to their graduating seniors for a while now. I’ve been watching the seniors themselves say goodbye to their friends – fellow third culture kids like themselves.
Watching these parental goodbyes feels like a knife in my chest. I have to stop myself from thinking about it just so I can breathe again. Because I know that will be me, someday, saying goodbye to you.
One of the people we’ve met since moving here is a young man who grew up in Cambodia but who is originally from Australia. (That makes him what we call an “adult TCK.”) After finishing university in Australia, he worked with TCKs (Third Culture Kids) in Phnom Penh for two years.
On his blog wheresthescript.com he writes about (among other things) TCK issues. In addition to the post below, I hope you will also read his post 15 Years Ago which details his TCK experience and is a beautiful portrait of a parent’s love.
by Jonathan
Recently, a friend asked me to write more on the topic of grief, and since this particular topic is so much fun, I did. I took a stroll back down into my own valley of grief and asked some questions: What was helpful during my mother’s terminal illness? What wasn’t? What were great things kind people said to me after my dad passed away? What things could have been (and should have been) left unsaid?
by Jonathan
[Note: For an expanded version of this article, click here. The expanded version appeared on A Life Overseas in December, 2013 and is geared more for a missions/TCK audience.]
Someone dies, or gets cancer, or gets cancer and then dies. Someone else says something eminently useful like “All things work together for good” or “He’s in a better place” or “I have a time-share in Florida and the carpet’s getting replaced this week.”
Someone moves to a foreign field, and it’s hard, and it’s sad, and they have kids. And the kids feel it too. They’re sad. They miss grandma, and McDonald’s, and green grass. Someone tells them, “It’s for God,” or “It’ll be ok someday; you’ll look back on this as one of the best things that ever happened to you.” Maybe their parents tell them that.
And grief gets outlawed, and the curse descends. And the child understands that some emotions are spiritual and some are outlawed.
by Elizabeth
(You can read Part 1 here.)
I’m not a crier. At least, I wasn’t, until I moved to Cambodia. I witness more pain and injustice here than I’m really equipped to handle. Consequently, I spent most of this hot season crying.
Jonathan & Elizabeth Trotter 