Misogyny in Missions {A Life Overseas}

Jonathan is over at A Life Overseas today. . .

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Ladies Who Lunch – With Men

That’s the name of an article I shared on Facebook recently, not knowing it would unleash a torrent of opinion. How should men and women interact? If they work together, what sort of rules should we put around their interaction? How do we safeguard marriages while treating women with respect?

Do our rules surrounding male-female interaction demean women?

It was an interesting discussion, and one that I think our community needs to have.

Click over to A Life Overseas for the discussion.

the soundtrack of sorrow

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There’s a mysterious power in tones and rhythms; a sort of shortcut to the soul.

Sometimes, music can take us to places that words alone never could.

Often, I need a Soundtrack of Sorrow to more fully feel. Grief and loss can stay bound up behind to-dos and busyness and noise. But music suspends the shoulds and lets me grieve. It gives a whole rest.

The Bible itself contains these types of soundtracks: Psalms of Sorrow and expressive Laments. They are powerful, emotive, and not to be dismissed.

Mourning is a deeply human, soul-level response to The Fall and its repercussions: death, separation, loneliness. And sometimes, to deal with all that, I need music.

What’s on your Soundtrack of Sorrow? Here are a few of the tracks on mine…

These choices might  not make sense to you. That’s ok, ’cause they’re on my Soundtrack of Sorrow, not yours. These songs remind me of my mother, and when I listen to these tracks, I see her at the piano, or sitting on the couch with her worn-out guitar. I see her crying in the kitchen after the death of her third baby.

These tracks remind me of my dad. Of happy times long since gone, and lazy Saturdays with grass and baseball; they remind me of Casey’s cookies and how he always bought a Butterfinger and a Diet Coke.

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Over time, I’ve added songs to the list. Songs unknown to my parents but deeply known to me:

This last one was sort of my mom’s cancer anthem. As I drove her back and forth from oncology appointments, we listened to Fernando Ortega. My dying mother in the front seat next to me, my baby brother in his car seat in the back. Not your normal teen experience, but it was mine.

Do you have a Soundtrack of Sorrow? What’s on it?

Dear Mr. Trump

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Dear Mr. Trump,

Your words seem to resonate with many, and your anger reverberates across the world. You espouse a plan to make America stronger, but sir, your plans don’t seem very American.

I’ve pondered this quietly as you recommended banning all Muslims from entering our Country, as you jokingly mocked a reporter with a disability, as you questioned the integrity of a federal judge due to his “Mexican heritage,” and as you attempted to invalidate Carly Fiorina’s entire presidential bid by saying, “Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that?”

No, sir, America doesn’t ban entire classes of people.
America doesn’t mock people with disabilities.
America doesn’t invalidate a judge’s integrity because of his ethnic background.
America doesn’t have a sign on The Office of the President that says “Only Pretty People May Apply.”

America is much greater than that.

And America needs a President who is much greater than that.

And that’s why I’m writing you now.

Sir, you called Omar Mateen “an Afghan, of Afghan parents, who immigrated to the United States.”

Omar’s actions were terrible and evil, driven by hate and prejudice. And while his deeds will be remembered with the horror they deserve, he will not win, and he will not destroy the American idea.

But sir, you might.

Omar was an American. Just.Like.You.

Born in New York, he was by birth and by right a citizen of the United States of America, protected by the Constitution. He didn’t like America, and he committed terrible crimes under American law, but that does not give you the right to call him “an Afghan,” a term you seem to think is inherently derogatory.

That is the height of prejudice, and far below the office to which you aspire.

Sir, a candidate for the Office of the President of the United States of America has to know that what makes you an American is not how long you’ve been here, or where your parents came from, or what color your skin is.

What makes you an American is not whether you’re pretty or wealthy or friends with the powerful.

At least, that’s not what being an American used to be.

But it seems you want to change that.

You want to Make America Great Again, it’s just that your version of America doesn’t seem very American.

Respectfully,
Jonathan Trotter

PS
This poem is inscribed on a small island just off of New York, at a place where millions of immigrants once entered our Country.

The New Colossus
by Emma Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Facebook lies and other truths {A Life Overseas}

Jonathan is over at A Life Overseas today . . .

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Have you ever created a fake boyfriend? Yeah, me neither.

One woman did, though, and while she’s no Chewbacca Lady, I still think she’s pretty awesome. You can read Ms. Smothers’ story here. Apparently, It only took one week and five easily stageable posts for Smothers to convince her followers that she had found love.”

Facebook, er, Instagram, lies. [And for the purists, Facebook owns Instagram, so the title of this post still fits.]

Ms. Smothers succeeded in convincing her followers that something amazing had happened: she had found love!

But it was all a ruse.

You can finish reading the article here.

3 Ways to Care for the Heart of Your Wife {A Life Overseas}

by Jonathan

Marriage can really be a drain on missions. Marriage on the field can be a constant source of distraction, discouragement, and pain.

But I hope it’s not.

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I’ve written before about marriage and its purpose, but today I’d like to take a step back and speak directly to husbands: my brothers.

This advice is carefully given, and with no slight hesitation. After all, if you want people to argue with you (and I don’t particularly enjoy it), then write about marriage. Even so, I will write. Because it matters. And because I hope the men who marry my sisters will do these things. I hope the men who pursue my daughters (in the very far distant future) will do these things. I hope my sons will do these things. Because marriage is important. It’s also really complicated.

Marriage is a complex thing (2 into 1) entered into by complex people (humans) who have to do complex stuff (live).

And you all know this already, but missions is a hard gig for marriages. You’ve got sky-high stress levels, extreme temperatures, lots of broken things, financial tightness, the fishbowl of fundraising, and a rewarding but very hard job. Sounds like fun, right? Well, if you add all of that to an unhappy marriage, I can tell you the one thing you certainly won’t be having is fun.

So, onward! What are three things you can do to care for the heart of your wife?

Continue reading over at A Life Overseas…