A Few of My Favorite Things {February 2025}

/ Elizabeth Trotter / Leave a comment

by Elizabeth

BOOKS

Ghosted: An American Story by Nancy French. Nancy is married to David French, whose work I’ve been reading for years. Like her husband, she’s absolutely in love with God, and I so enjoyed getting to know her. Her salvation story was incredibly moving, but the entire book was a page turner. And like any good writer, Nancy waits for the very last page for the “turning.” I won’t ruin it for you. Content warning: numerous discussions of childhood sexual abuse.

If you want a taste of the book, watch/listen to this interview with Russell Moore. But honestly, as much as I love Russell Moore, the book is way better than the interview.

Escaping Enemy Mode: How Our Brains Unite or Divide Us by Jim Wilder, PhD psychologist, and Ray Woolridge, retired U.S. Army Brigadier General. This book changed my brain and my life, and I think it has the power to change the church and the world. It’s all about “refriending” or strengthening and repairing relationships, which seem weak and distressed society-wide, especially since the pandemic. 

There’s a lot of brain science in this book that I couldn’t keep up with, but the main point is that there are three types of enemy mode: simple, stupid, and intelligent. Simple enemy mode occurs when we don’t have the “relational circuits” in our brains turned on or warmed up. Basically, we’re not paying attention to the people in our lives. This can be relatively straightforward to resolve. 

Stupid enemy mode happens when we get angry and say and do dumb things in our anger. Instead of our brains being “too cold” as in simple enemy mode, in stupid enemy mode, our brains are “too hot.” Calming techniques can help with stupid mode. Although people don’t intend to hurt others in these two modes, a lot of relational damage gets inflicted. 

Intelligent enemy mode is different. In intelligent enemy mode, a person is paying attention and staying calm but using the relational data they have to hurt people on purpose. It’s harder to heal a brain in intelligent enemy mode, particularly since those people don’t generally want to escape their enemy mode. In my experience, however, most of our daily interactions are with simple and stupid enemy modes–and the good news is that there’s so much we can do about this!

Pro Tip #1: Reading The 3D Gospel: Ministry in Guilt, Shame, and Fear Cultures ahead of time will enlighten the experience. Dr. Wilder shows how honor-shame really does permeate all of American culture. I recommended The 3D Gospel by Jayson Georges in June, and it’s much shorter and more digestible than Escaping Enemy Mode.

Pro Tip #2: If you don’t understand the brain science in this book, skip it and read the stories and the solutions. I think this book has the power to change the church and change society. Spread the word!

Christianity Today. Not a book but a periodical, CT reimagined and redesigned their magazine this year so that the volumes come out less frequently, but the stories are tied together with an overarching theme. The changes make the magazine more cohesive and even more of a joy to read than before, touching on deep theological and emotional issues. I’ve subscribed to CT for close to a decade, and it has always strengthened my faith and pointed me back to Christ, but never more so than in the past few years.

MUSIC

Holy Forever by Chris Tomlin

A thousand generations falling down in worship
To sing the song of ages to the Lamb
And all who’ve gone before us and all who will believe
Will sing the song of ages to the Lamb

Your name is the highest
Your name is the greatest
Your name stands above them all
All thrones and dominions
All powers and positions
Your name stands above them all

And the angels cry holy
All creation cries holy
You are lifted high, holy
Holy forever

If you’ve been forgiven and if you’ve been redeemed
Sing the song forever to the Lamb
If you walk in freedom and if you bear His name
Sing the song forever to the Lamb
We’ll sing the song forever and amen

 

Here I Bow by Jenn Johnson

Where would I run
But to the throne of mercy
Where would I kneel
But at this cross of grace
How great the love
How strong the hand that holds us
Beautiful, so beautiful

So here I bow to lift You high
Jesus be glorified
In all things, for all my life
I am Yours, forever Yours

There is a King who bore the scars of healing
There is a Son who came in grace and truth
How great the love that carries us to kindness
Wonderful, You’re wonderful

God here and now, be lifted high
Right here and now, be glorified
God of Heaven and Earth
God who brought me back to life
I am Yours, forever Yours

 

Still by Hillsong

Hide me now under your wings
Cover me within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father, you are King over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul in Christ alone
Know his power in quietness and trust

 

I Will Wait for You (Psalm 130) by Keith and Kristyn Getty

Out of the depths I cry to You
In darkest places I will call
Incline Your ear to me anew
And hear my cry for mercy, Lord

Were You to count my sinful ways
How could I come before Your throne?
Yet full forgiveness meets my gaze
I stand redeemed by grace alone

I will wait for You, I will wait for You
On Your Word, I will rely
I will wait for You, surely wait for You
‘Til my soul is satisfied

So put your hope in God alone
Take courage in His power to save
Completely and forever won
By Christ emerging from the grave

Now He has come to make a way
And God Himself has paid the price
That all who trust in Him today
Find healing in His sacrifice

QUOTES

“The presence of God is the concentration of the soul’s attention on God; remembering He is always present.” –Brother Lawrence

“We live at the mercy of our ideas.” –Dallas Willard

“We are made for work as surely as we are made for rest. Because of sin, we make idols of both, bending them to serve our self-promotion and sloth. Our work does not fully satisfy, and our rest does not fully restore. 

“But one day, we will labor again as we were created to labor. And we will sabbath as we were created to sabbath. Our labor will not frustrate, and our rest will not bore. 

“For now, we can and should still do our jobs with all our hearts, as working for the Lord (Col. 3:23). When we see our labor as serving the Lord Christ, even menial tasks are transformed from work into worship. Our efforts become offerings, whether as expressions of our gifts or as acts of simple obedience.”

–Jen Wilkin

A Prayer for Marriage {shared during the Velvet Ashes Equip Conference}

/ Elizabeth Trotter / 2 Comments

Father in heaven who loves us, who longs to know us, who longs for us to know You and to know each other in marriage, we confess that we do not always see You or Your goodness in marriage.

But we thank you for Your good plans for us and our marriages. We thank you for Your good plans for Your church across the globe. And we thank you that your plans are not in conflict with one another.

Help us to see the image of God in one another. Help us to rejoice in each other and in our relationships. Restore the joy of first love to us.

Give us the courage to say no to the world and yes to each other. Give us the strength to seek healing from You that we may bring it to our marriages and thus to the world. Let our marriages shine the light of You to others so that they may ask where we found it and want what we have.

Thank you for giving us Your Son, who loved and blessed marriages. Amen.

(Prayer written and shared by Elizabeth)

Music and Midlife {some recommendations}

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I thought I would drop in with a mini “favorite things” post. Here are just a few things I’ve loved over the past few months. ~Elizabeth

The Upgrade: How the Female Brain Gets Stronger and Better in Midlife and Beyond by Louann Brizendine, MD. I saw this book recommended on a menopause website and was intrigued. I bought it on Kindle and practically underlined the entire thing. I have several other books about taking care of physical health in perimenopause and menopause, but nothing ever addressed the mental work of midlife like this book. It was also very hopeful about the second half of life – something I both appreciated and needed.

Inside Out 2. When the puberty button was pushed and all those new thoughts and feelings appeared out of nowhere, I felt like I could relate to Riley. Like her, I thought I had all my belief systems, thinking patterns, and emotions under control, then bam perimenopause happened, and I had to recalibrate. It’s been a lot of work to ride this emotional roller coaster, but it has certainly made me more reliant on the Spirit — which is never a bad thing.

Abide by Aaron Williams. I was seeking discernment about a few things in my life this spring, and one Sunday while we were singing this song in church, I felt like God gave me the answers I had been seeking. A beautiful song that draws us to the heart of God.

Christ Be All Around Me by All Sons & Daughters. At one point this summer I was really craving a prayer that could ground me. I love the prayer of St. Patrick (and I love St. Patrick) and had a distant memory of singing his words once in a song, so I went searching for it.

Same God by Elevation. This song ministered to me after a specific time of prayer about my identity. With so much in my life in flux, I felt adrift. God was basically saying to me, “I’m the same God I always was to you, and you’re the same girl you always were to me. Nothing about any of that has changed.” And I still need this God, the same God who has shown up for His people for thousands of years, every day of my life.

This is Our God by Phil Wickham. I get goosebumps with every verse. I remember the walls, the prisons, the giants – I’ve faced so many of them in my life. But look at what God does! And what a joy to be able to tell the stories of His faithfulness throughout our lives.

Olive Velvet Ashes Retreat image. This is the wallpaper on my phone now. The themes of this year’s retreat matched so much of what God was already speaking to me that I wanted to remind myself of it every time I opened my phone. Plus, those colors made me happy and calm.

Two Questions I Always Ask Homeschool Moms

/ trotters41 / 2 Comments

by Elizabeth

The early days of homeschooling are intense. You’re afraid of messing up. You haven’t fully settled into your teaching style yet. You’re still getting to know your children’s learning preferences. You’re still uncovering their abilities and their challenges.

And often, you have little ones running underfoot while you attempt to educate your older ones.

Older moms offer advice, and it’s good, but you don’t know how to apply it to your situation. You read books, and they’re good, but sometimes the requirements feel overwhelming. How can anyone do all these things and do them well? 

And sometimes the advice conflicts, and you don’t know which to choose.

Now, after 20 years of motherhood and over 15 years of homeschooling, I’ve become that older mom who has advice to offer and guidance to give. And the first thing I want to say is: let’s all take a deep breath. We make better decisions when we’re calm.

Beyond that, there are all sorts of things I could tell you. Things like figuring out your educational approach and your teaching preferences and your family culture and your students’ learning preferences. And those things are all important, and I talk about them with moms.

But the two questions I always ask young moms are the two questions they sometimes forget to ask themselves. They are:

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

And, if you’re married, what are you doing to take care of your marriage?

These two areas are the bedrock upon which a healthy, happy homeschool is built. If you’re burnt out, you won’t bring your best self to the task of home education. You’ll be tired and worn down, you’ll run out of energy and enthusiasm, and you might let too many things slide that shouldn’t be sliding. (What needs to slide and what needs to stay is a conversation for a future post.)

If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the love you need to pour out on your children. Your relationships with them won’t be as good as they can be because you aren’t as full as you could be. You’ll be snappier than you want to be, and you’ll regret those moments.

Answering these two questions can be really hard when you have young children. You’re almost always short on time, and you’re probably short on sleep, which means you could also be short on brain power. Hopefully you can take some time, either in the early morning before your children get up or in the evening after they go to bed, to get quiet and ask your soul these two questions.

Don’t be afraid to ask your husband for help with the children in order to discern these things. You might even need the help of a friend or coach to talk it out. But don’t discount the power of solitary journaling to help you figure these things out. Write out all your angst until the answers appear on the page. And then go live them.

**NEW BOOK COMING IN SUMMER 2025** 

The Hats We Wear: Reflections on Life as a Woman of Faith addresses six different aspects of being a woman of faith, with sections on spirituality, emotions, and embodied living, as well as marriage, motherhood, and homeschooling.

Book Sale: Digging in the Dirt is $2.99 through Wednesday!

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Hey there! I am thrilled to let you know that “Digging in the Dirt: Musings on Missions, Emotions, and Life in the Mud” is ON SALE FOR $2.99 UNTIL WEDNESDAY NIGHT!

https://amzn.to/3SOtnqd (affiliate link)

I put so much of my heart and soul into this book, diving into topics like anger, grief, hope, sex, what to do when the power goes out, what to do when the thief steals, and so much more. Here is the invitation from the back cover:

Welcome to ground level, to the dirt and the mess.

We like the mountain tops and the sunshine. We like green grass under a clear blue sky. We like victory and breakthrough and answered prayers. But sometimes it rains, the shadows deepen, and life turns muddy. Sometimes God seems quiet. What then? What happens when depression descends, or anxiety hangs like a sword overhead? What happens when loneliness suffocates, the thief steals more than stuff, and you get blood on your shoes?

In Digging in the Dirt, Jonathan Trotter delves into the disasters, the darkness, and the deluge, and he offers comfort, presence, and a gentle invitation to hope.

With humor and prose, with poetry and Top Ten lists, Jonathan welcomes us to the dirt, to the places where we actually live. He invites us to boldly see life as it is, with eyes wide open, and reminds us that even when the digging is scary, we are never alone.

To the ones who are dealing with devastation and distress, welcome. To the ones who need to uproot, to pull out, to clear ground, welcome. To the ones who seek desperately to plant seeds of grace and hope in once barren soil, welcome. To the missionary abroad and the believer at home, welcome. Receive the invitation, and join with Jonathan here at ground level, together.

Come, dig in the dirt.

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