Faith That Won’t Fracture

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by Elizabeth

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By now you probably know I’m a romantic about the Cosmos. So when I heard that Krista Tippett had interviewed Margaret Wertheim for her podcast On Being on April 23rd of this year, I knew right away I had to listen to it. Several years ago Wertheim gave a TED talk on coral reefs as physical representations of hyperbolic (or non-Euclidean) geometry, and I’ve been enraptured by — nay almost addicted to —  those ideas ever since. (But hyperbolic coral geometry is a blog post for another day.)

Anyway, at one point during the interview Krista Tippett says, “So, I always like this fact that light can be a particle or a wave depending on what question you ask of it as kind of a way of demonstrating, I think — something we all also experience, that contradictory explanations of reality can simultaneously be true.” Oh yes – there is paradox in physics as well as life. I’ve talked about that before.

Krista goes on to read something beautiful that Margaret Wertheim wrote in one of her books:

“Wave particle duality is a core feature of our world. Or rather, we should say, it is a core feature of our mathematical descriptions of our world. But what is critical to note here is that, however ambiguous our images, the universe itself remains whole and is manifestly not fracturing into schizophrenic shards. It is this tantalizing wholeness and the thing itself that drives physicists onward like an eternally beckoning light that seems so teasingly near. It is always out of reach.”

In the interview Margaret expounds on her own quote:

“Physics, for the past century, had this dualistic way of describing the world. One in terms of waves, which is usually conceived of as a continuous phenomena. And one in terms of particles, which is usually conceived of as a discrete or sort of digitized phenomena. And so quantum mechanics gives us the particle, as it were, discrete description. And general relativity gives us the wavelike, continuous description. And general relativity operates at the cosmological scale. And quantum mechanics operates so brilliantly at the subatomic scale. And these two theories don’t currently mathematically mesh. So the great hope of physics for the last 80 or so years has been, ‘Can we find a unifying framework that will combine general relativity and quantum mechanics into one mathematical synthesis?’ And some people believe that that’s what string theory can be. And it’s often — when contemporary physicists write about the world, they talk about this as being a fundamental problem for reality. But it’s not a fundamental problem for reality. It’s a fundamental problem for human beings. The universe is just getting on with it.

And so I think the universe isn’t schizophrenic. It’s not having a problem. We’re having a problem. And I don’t think it means that there’s anything wrong with what physicists are doing. Quantum mechanics and general relativity have both been demonstrated to be true in their demands of expertise to 20 decimal places of experimentation. That’s a degree of success which is mind-blowing and awe-inspiring. But the fact that these two great, fabulously functional descriptions don’t fit together means we haven’t, by any means, learned all we’ve got to know about the world.”

I love how Wertheim says the Cosmos isn’t fracturing with our inability to reconcile relativity (on the large scale of planets, stars, and galaxies) with quantum mechanics (on the small scale of subatomic particles). The Universe isn’t freaking out about this problem. We humans are the ones freaking out, because we can’t get the math to work.

In the same way, our faith need not manifestly fracture into shards with our inability to fit together paradoxical descriptions of God – nor, for that matter, does God Himself fracture with our human inability to understand all of Him. I love the idea that the Cosmos and its Creator are higher than our capacity to comprehend them. I love the sense of awe and wonder that induces. And I love the fact that there’s always more for us to learn and discover.

In the 6th chapter of John’s gospel, Jesus says some really strange cannibalistic-sounding things. The disciples respond by saying, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” The Greek word that is translated “accept” means to “comprehend by listening.” I find there is a difference between accepting something as paradox or mystery, and actually comprehending it. So perhaps the disciples were really saying, “Who can understand this teaching?”

I do not need to fully understand the way the universe works in order to accept that it does work. I do not have to fully understand Jesus’ words in order to accept them as Truth. This is the enigma of loving a limitless God.  This is the mystery of life with Christ, God-made-flesh. This is the joy of a faith that won’t fracture.

 

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margin: the wasted space we desperately need {A Life Overseas}

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Jonathan is over at A Life Overseas today, talking about margin. . .

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“Staying alive is not about how fast or how slow you go; it’s about how much margin you have.”

That’s what a friend of mine here in Cambodia says when asked about how to not die while riding motorcycles in our little corner of Asia. And since he’s been riding and racing motorcycles since before I was born, I listen.

Going slow with no margin can be more dangerous than going fast with tons of margin. It’s true with motorcycles and it’s true with missions.

Your speed is not necessarily what determines your safety; your margin does. Margin takes into account all sorts of variables: How far can you see? How much space is between you and the next vehicle (or cow)? What are the road conditions? Is this even a road? How likely is it that the large pig strapped to the back of that bus in front of you will stay strapped to the back of that bus in front of you?

Read the entire post here.

A Few of My Favorite Things

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by Elizabeth

I’m excited to start a new series! From time to time, I’ll be sharing links to my favorite blog posts, books, songs, videos, etc. I wanted to put all my favorite resources in one place, rather than scattering them around Facebook the way I’ve done in the past. I’m super excited to share things that have been an encouragement to me, and I hope they will be to you, too. This launch post might be longer than usual because it has some of my “old” favorites along with the newer ones.

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BOOKS

The Prodigal God by Tim Keller. I read this book this spring and cried on nearly every page. I cannot do the book justice here without quoting entire chapters. It’s a short read anyway, so you should just read it yourself!

Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. I’m just starting this book and really enjoying it so far. I so relate to the way she describes herself in the first couple chapters! I wish I had read this book in college and saved myself a lot of spiritual pain and effort. I’ve learned a lot of truth about grace through trial and error, but it’s always good to take a refresher course, if you know what I mean! You can get a taste of her material for free by watching her book club videos.

Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning. Still loving this book and reading it almost daily. Occasionally I post exceptionally good quotes on Facebook.

VIDEOS & PODCASTS

IF:Equip on Matthew 5:4. I love subscribing to IF:Equip! The 2-minute video discussions each day are very interesting and insightful. This one is closely related to what I learned about repentance earlier this year, and so it was very dear to my heart.

More IF:Equip on Matthew 5:4. More video discussion on the same ideas. Such richness.

Who Do You Think You Are? Short video at Self Talk the Gospel. I love Self Talk the Gospel’s tagline! “We must embed the Gospel so deep within our conscience that it transforms the way we think, which, in turn, will transform the way we live.” Don’t you just love that?

How Christians Find Hope for Anxiety by Meghan Alanis. This 15-minute interview at Self Talk the Gospel mirrors my own experience with anxiety: that it can be helped and healed. I’ve gone back to the interview a few times because it simply overflows with grace and hope for those struggling with anxiety. I truly believe that with God’s help (which sometimes includes medication and almost always includes counseling), we don’t have to be bound by anxiety. God can set us free. If you struggle with anxiety, you don’t want to miss this video!

Finding Permission to Rest. This is a one-hour interview with Bonnie Gray, author of Finding Spiritual Whitespace, at Kat Lee’s Inspired to Action podcast. I first found Inspired to Action through Kat Lee’s other blog Hello Mornings, which I also love. Oh man, was this podcast good! So rich with biblical insight and ideas for approaching God like a child and finding space for your soul to breathe. I haven’t read the book yet, but it’s on my list.

How To Do a Greek Study Using BibleHub.com by Katie Orr. This short tutorial taught me how to look up Greek words on BibleHub.com, something I didn’t know how to do before — and something that has been very useful because I left my Hebrew/Greek Study Bible in the States when we moved here. (I found Katie Orr through Hello Mornings as well.)

BLOG POSTS

God Can Heal Our Broken Potatoes by Chris Bowman. A blog post I’ve returned to again and again ever since Chris first published this post on his own blog a couple years ago. I was honored to repost it at A Life Overseas this year.

Airplanes are Time Machines by Angie Washington. Encouraged me to lift the timeline off my expectations of others and introduced me to The Message version of Matthew 11: “Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.” I think this was the first post I ever read at A Life Overseas, and it hooked me. I so needed its message.

When You Have to Wash Seven Times by Erin Duplechin. A gorgeous story of the restoration that comes slowly but surely. We all need the healing of Jesus every day of our lives. Erin’s words are life and hope for the soul.

I Broke Up With My Therapist by Megan Gahan. Hmm . . . breaking up with your therapist? Except it’s not what you think! So good. Reminded me of a book I got free on Kindle a few years ago. I have definitely had this problem in my life.

Ask Me in 10 Years by Kathy Escobar. Super-encouraging post about personal change being S-L-O-W.

Slowly, Then All At Once by Tanya Marlow. Another encouraging piece about perseverance, slow change, and waiting on God.

Dwell by Chris Lautsbaugh. God wants to dwell with us. Best news ever!

TELEVISION

When Calls the Heart from Hallmark Channel. My husband found this on Netflix, and I fell in love with it (though I’m a little upset the second season ended in such a cliffhanger!). It’s based on Janette Oke’s Canadian West novels, and the show inspired me to read the book on Kindle. I’m into the second book now, which is basically the story of a woman crossing cultural lines, so I have a lot of fun with that. The TV show deviates pretty far from the books, but I love how clean and family friendly both of them are.

North and South by the BBC. I just found this 2004 adaptation of Elizabeth Gaskell’s novel on Netflix. Will someone please tell me how the internet has been keeping this jewel from me all this time??! It’s one of the most achingly romantic stories I’ve ever seen — and you know I have high expectations in that area (think Anne of Avonlea, Pride and Prejudice, and Emma). North and South is like a Dickensian version of Pride and Prejudice, except it doesn’t focus solely on the marital aspirations of British young ladies. It also has a wider social commentary on poverty in Industrial England, making it acceptable for viewing even by husbands — and it just so happens to be a story of crossing cultures as well.

 

What about you? What are your favorites lately??

“Did God Really Say That?” — Three Signs I’ve Heard His Voice

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by Elizabeth

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How do we know God has really spoken to us? How do we know it wasn’t just our imagination, but that it was really Him? I recently told the story of hearing the words “Forgive you” from God, and in the comments section someone asked how I knew that message was from God. She said that she had thought she’d heard from God in the past, but then it turned out not to be from God — a very painful experience for her. My heart hurt so badly as I read her comment. And it’s such an important question that I wanted to devote an entire blog post to unpacking the answer.

Before answering the question, however, I want to clarify what I’m not talking about: I’m not talking about making decisions. Different people have different ways of interpreting circumstances for decision making, and it’s far too easy to seek God about a decision, think you’ve heard from Him, and then doubt it when trials come. When things go wrong, it’s easy to look back and think you didn’t hear from God right. Situations may turn tricky and uncomfortable entirely apart from your actions. They might get complicated because of miscommunication or even someone else’s actions or sins. So that’s not what I’m talking about here.

I also don’t think it’s wise to look back and think, “Oh, I heard from God wrong” or “I misinterpreted Him.” It only brings pain, and who’s to say it was wrong anyway? We don’t know the purposes He has for us in each season of life. So I guess I just approach decision-making with the trust that even if I make the “wrong” decision, He is there to pick up the pieces and guide me along further. I think it helps if we are not fatalistic in this regard.

What I am talking about are the kinds of stories I’ve told before, stories of God whispering something to my heart. So how do we know when God is speaking to us? This is how I personally discern these kinds of inaudible messages from God:

1.) Unexpectedness. God often gets my attention with an answer I couldn’t have come up with on my own, in that time and place. In this recent story, I was in really low place. I was thinking God had given up on me because I had given up on myself, and so the unexpected nature of the answer told me it was from Him and not my own mind. Another time God’s voice surprised me was when He told me to believe He loves me. I was in a place of unbelief when the clear message that came to me was “Believe.” So when an answer catches me off guard like that, it feels like it’s from Him rather than from my own imagination.

2. Scripture. Does the message I just received line up with the truth of the Bible? If it does, I know it’s God, and that I just needed a bigger, more intimate, experience of Him to really receive the truth emotionally instead of simply reading the text intellectually. In this case, the truth of Jesus’ constant forgiveness of us as we are walking with Him is backed up by Scripture (I John 1:7), so I know I can believe it. Another time His message was about following Jesus alone and not being distracted by other things. When these truths are in the Bible, I trust these experiences to be from God, because they are verified in His Word.

3. Fruit. Does this truth bring me lasting peace or joy or love? If it does, if it quiets my spirit and brings me closer to God, then I trust it is from Him. I believe Jesus’ sacrifice is for all time, for all my sins. So in this most recent case, it’s not that I have to earn His forgiveness by asking for it each time I sin. Rather, repentance is for us. It brings us back to God, back to the truth of His holiness and sacrifice for us. Repentance is for us to feel the forgiveness that is already accomplished. And so when that conversation with God helped me to continue walking in forgiveness of myself and others, and my anger dissipated, then I knew it was from Him, because kindness and forgiveness are His will for us (again going back to Scripture in that).

The other time I mentioned, when God told me to believe He loves me as much as He loves my husband, I was able to start walking in peace. I didn’t have to strive for anyone to pay attention to me anymore, because I knew viscerally — and not just cerebrally — that God loves me. I didn’t fight with my husband over those things anymore, and I continue walking in that internal and external peace to this day. That, to me, is the fruit of the Spirit at work in my life and marriage, and so I trust the message was truly from Him, because I began to walk in freedom, a freedom that was long-lasting.

So that’s pretty much my grid for trusting that God has spoken to me:

1.) Unexpectedness

2.) Scriptural Alignment

3.) Fruitfulness in my life

I’m not sure if the times my recent commenter was talking about were these kinds of things, or whether they were decisions that had to be made (which, as I said, are much more difficult to judge). I do want to acknowledge the fear of hearing “wrong” and the fear that God won’t speak to us at all. I’ve had those fears too, and they’ve caused me to avoid speaking to God about my problems. It’s scary to ask Him to talk to us and feel like we’re not getting an answer.

I want to close in a prayer for all of us, in whatever situation or struggle we are currently seeking God. I pray that we will hear from Him, that we will know we’ve heard from Him, and that His voice will bring the much-desired peace, joy, and love in our lives.

 

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. (II Corinthians 13:14)

10 Ways to Survive Your First Year Overseas

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by Elizabeth

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I worked at a lot of summer camps before moving overseas. Camp work is hot, sweaty, and tiring, and I always loved that last shower before “lights out.” So before moving overseas, I told my husband that I’d be able to handle anything during the day in Cambodia as long as I had a clean shower and clean bed at night (with a fan!).

And for the most part, that’s been true. Besides the nightly shower, however, I’ve picked up a few other survival skills from my first year overseas. My best advice still lies in the Preparation Phase, but today I want to share tips you can use once you get to the field. Here they are:

1. Figure out your Absolute Necessities, and do whatever you can to install them in your home or in your life. For myself, I needed curtains in my bedroom and gates on my stairs. I had to be able to dress and undress in private, as well as spend time with my husband in private. I needed curtains pronto! Thankfully a friend supplied me some hand-me-down curtains three weeks in to our Cambodia adventure. They may or may not have matched my sheets, but they gave me the privacy I needed.

A close second for me was the safety gates on our treacherously steep concrete Asian stairs (for my then one-year-old), obtained five weeks in to Cambodia life. Those were my Absolute Necessities. You may need something different. Certain kitchen equipment, perhaps. The point is, figure out your two or three Absolute Necessities, and obtain them if at all possible.

2. Funny YouTube clips are your best friend. Some weeks it was all I could do to get to Friday, when my husband and I would watch Fail Blogs on YouTube. Another favorite was Mitch Hedberg (FYI his language is sometimes questionable).

We’re big fans of Brian Regan’s “I Walked on the Moon” (mostly clean, with occasional bad words). And of course who can’t help loving Jim Gaffigan (also mostly clean, with even fewer bad words)? We loved NFL Bad Lip Reading, but buyer beware: a lot of Bad Lip Reading videos are not kid-friendly.

3. Find spiritual nourishment. I can’t tell you enough how much I love our international church and the spiritual food I receive there. But I know not everyone lives in a city that offers English-speaking church services like I do. Nowadays, though, overseas workers have access to sermons and podcasts on the internet. My husband, for example, likes listening to Andy Stanley sermons. Figure out which teachers feed you, and set aside some time to listen.

We all need to worship God in song, so if you don’t have access to worship services in your heart language, remember you can purchase worship music on iTunes (artists like Bethel, Hillsong, and Matt Redman are some of my favorites). I know some of this depends on your internet quality and won’t work for absolutely everyone at all times; still, it’s an improvement in resource availability over times past.

And don’t forget your own personal morning quiet time – it’s worked wonders in my life. So no matter what your options are, I do believe you can find the spiritual nourishment that you crave and that you need. You just might have to be creative about it.

4. Closely related to spiritual nourishment is finding community. You might be able to find that at an international church or on your team, as I’ve been thrilled to find. (Although I personally have had to guard against being oversocialized.) Finding community might be trickier for you if you live in a really remote place, with few other workers.

One of the best things you can do is pray for God to bring you a kindred spirit or two. Yes, the goodbyes hurt, and sometimes God brings people into our lives only for a season, but I do believe God answers our prayers for friends. Sometimes we have to get creative in our search for community as well, and another option is online community. Velvet Ashes and A Life Overseas are two options for Christian expats.

If you’re married, it’s far too easy to forget that you and your spouse can provide built-in community for each other — but that only happens when you spend time together. Maybe there’s no money to go out anywhere, or nowhere to go out, or maybe you don’t yet have babysitters you trust. You can still have coffee at home. You can still put the kids to bed early. You can still find fellowship with each other; in fact friendship is a vital part of a thriving marriage. Our first year we went up to our roof after our kids’ bedtime a couple times a week, looking out over our city and just talking to each other. It was peaceful and bonding, and I cherish those memories.

5. Your old coping mechanisms might not work at first. Don’t sweat it too much. I love to read, but my mind was too tired from language learning and culture acquisition to read much that first year. I’ve had other friends whose beloved piano playing went by the wayside their first year. Don’t lose heart – these things will come back later, when your brain isn’t so tired from the onslaught of culture and language.

6. Your body and mind may feel weaker than ever. Take care of them. You’ll probably get sick with strange illnesses. (The first two years are the worst for that, until your body adjusts.) But I’m not just talking about illnesses here. Before I moved overseas, I’d never struggled with mood swings, due to either hormonal shifts or low blood sugar. Now I deal with both, and not only do I need to be aware of them, but I have to be diligent in alleviating my symptoms.

Living cross-culturally (especially in a developing country or a very hot country) drains your body of its resources. So you’ll have to feed and water it regularly. You’ll need to de-worm regularly, take your vitamins, go to bed at a good time, and exercise. Exercise is not a coping mechanism you can afford to relinquish. You may have to get creative for this one too. A lot of people don’t like using videos for exercise (you can access a lot online if you don’t already own some), but if you don’t have access to a gym or decent running paths, you may be forced to exercise in your home.

7. Fall in love with something in your host country. In the beginning it’s too easy to love everything or to hate everything. But as with everything in life, the truth about your country is probably somewhere in between, a mixture of both good and bad. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve encountered God in a sunset or a palm tree, in a rice field or a painted sky. When I need a reason for why I stay in a dirty, stinky, crowded city, I simply go to my roof and meet God in the clouds and banana leaves. You won’t be able to love everything where you live, but if you want to stay, you can’t afford to hate everything, either.

8. Some days you’ll only be able to accomplish one thing. You might feel like a failure for that, but you need to celebrate that one thing. You might not be able to shop for furniture and groceries in the same day, and that’s OK. You can always try again tomorrow with something else. You’ll get more efficient at this life, and eventually daily living won’t wear you out so much. You need to give yourself this grace. And you’ll need to continue giving yourself that grace, because to a certain degree, living cross-culturally will always wear you out more than living in your passport country.

9. If you home school your children, don’t be afraid to drop it for 3-6 months. Your kids will be ok, I promise. I didn’t believe that at first, either, even when my missions coach assured me of it. But she was right; it turned out ok. Not only does it save you sanity (it’s hard to home school kids and study language at the same time) but your kids really do catch up later. Plus, they need to adjust to overseas life, too. We don’t want to overload our kids with too many expectations.

10. And returning to my first point, if all else fails, don’t be afraid to put yourself in time out in the shower. Go to bed early. You can try again tomorrow! Grace grace grace. You’re gonna need to give yourself a lot of it this year, so just starting doling it out now.