Confessions of a Lost Sheep

by Elizabeth

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Sometimes I feel a bit lost. Not in an eternally-lost-and-I-don’t-have-a-Savior kind of way, but an I-don’t-know-where-I-am-and-I-don’t-think-anyone-else-does-either kind of way.

Because life keeps on going, unchecked and unthrottled. I feel confused, out of touch with myself. So much is happening, what do I even think or feel about any of it? I’m here, but I’m not really here. And I don’t quite know where the real me is.

I don’t know where I am. I’ve lost my way. Who is going to find me? Can anyone find me?

So I cried out, “God, I feel so lost! So lost, so lost, so lost. Jesus, find me. Will you find me? Will you please find me?”

And Jesus, sweet Jesus, He directed my mind to the parables of the lost sheep and the lost coin.

I figure that as long as He’s talking to me, I should probably listen.

So off I went to Luke 15, where Jesus says, “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.

When. Not if. But when he has found it.

A few moments later Jesus tells us, “Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me.’”

Again, not if, but when. When she finds it.

All this searching and sweeping, all this tracking and seeking and lighting of the lamps. All these details and all this grunt work, just to find one who’s been lost.

And I remembered, all over again. I remembered I have a Shepherd. A Shepherd who is good. A Shepherd who knows His sheep.

I may not know where I am, but I have a Good Shepherd who knows where I am. Better yet, He knows me, and He wants to find me.

Even when I feel lost, He knows where I am. When I can’t find my way out, when I can’t find my way back home, He can find me.

It’s time to trust that He’s going to.

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