I wrote letters and never sent them. I’d heard it would heal me. But no matter how many letters I wrote and didn’t send, I never felt healed.

Maybe it’s because I have an obsessive personality. Maybe it’s because in my waking life, I already ruminate and rehearse. All I know is that this classic mental health tool did nothing for me. What I really needed was Paul’s instruction in Philippians 3:12-14 to press on, forgetting what is behind and reaching for what is ahead.

In the very next chapter, Paul shows us how to press on:

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” (Phil. 4:8-9)

As a person whose brain tends to get stuck on loops, I need to make sure my loops are positive ones, not negative ones. Otherwise I will just spiral downward and fall into the black hole of despair. If I get stuck on sad, angry, or fearful thoughts, I may never find my way back out again. [Cue spaghettification.]

Our thoughts influence our emotions, which influence our spirits, which feed back into our thoughts. This cycle occurs regardless of the quality of our inputs, but the Holy Spirit through Paul directs us to fix our thoughts on true and beautiful things, not frightening or resentful things. 

I must put this principle into practice every single day from the moment I wake up. Some days I wake up in a dark cloud. I have to set my eyes on lovely things, or they will sink into a storm. Other days my brain wakes up blank, but as soon as my thoughts kick into gear, they swirl into a dark, depressed, and anxious cloud. My natural thoughts are not always happy ones.

Just a few verses earlier Paul says something else, something I never noticed before this year. I had of course tried to abide by Philippians 4:6: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” 

But this verse is only part of a multi-step command, which continues with: “Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done” (v. 6).

And the promise of peace comes after both parts: “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7).

How exceedingly abundantly has God blessed me? And yet how often do I — like one of the nine lepers — forget to turn around and thank God for a gift? If I so repeatedly forget the source of our peace, is it any wonder when I don’t experience it?

For me, healing comes from putting into practice the words of Paul, not the remembrance of hurtful scenes or conversations. Not the rehashing of all my dark, depressed, angry, or fearful thoughts every morning. I still write those things out, of course, but it’s no longer the only thing I do. 

Because simply vomiting the rotten stuff onto the paper isn’t enough to cleanse us. We must also look to the past for reminders of God’s faithfulness. We must smile and thank Him for the good things in our lives, no matter how small. The way to reset the brain is to focus on the good, not the bad — even as we make our requests known to a Father who longs to hear from us.

There’s a reason the author of Hebrews tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus Christ (12:2). Gazing on Jesus is the only way to endure the difficulties of this life. It is the only way to find our way out of the dark maze of our minds. 

So my task each morning is to write myself back to the truth. I present my requests to God. I thank Him for the things He has done. And I declare my trust in Him. I speak honestly to the Lord, but I also allow His truths, hidden in my heart, to speak honestly to me. 

Then I put the blue pen down. I set the journal on the shelf for tomorrow, when the peace of God will come to me again through words scribbled on a page. Not words of hurt and pain but words of hope and healing. For His faithfulness never ends — and His mercies are new every morning.