A Few of My Favorite Things

A Few of My Favorite Things {March 2016}

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The good stuff from this month: online, in print, and in real life. ~Elizabeth

Easter morning was incredible, probably the best Easter service I’ve ever attended. The best part for me was the way we sang Kari Jobe’s song “Forever,” which is already one of my favorite worship songs. First some church members acted out the last supper. Then they spent a good bit of time on the burial and the disciples’ grief and mourning, which we sometimes rush through. (And the actors were non-white, which to me felt more authentic.) Then a woman performed sign language as we sang the first half of “Forever.” Halfway through the song we stopped singing, and the actors portrayed the John 20 scene between Jesus and Mary. I’ve always loved that part of the story, but to see it in person was an experience like no other. Then as soon as Mary and Jesus embraced, we rolled right back into the triumphant part of the song. It was amazing, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

The rest of March was a whirlwind of a month. I finished up a big writing and ministry push (including speaking at a ladies’ event), and I’m looking forward to relaxing a bit more in April, including going on a team retreat with our Team Expansion team. I’m going to completely unplug from technology during that time and am really looking forward to both the unplugging and the team and family bonding time.

Two weeks of unbearable heat (meaning even the water coming out of the faucets is hot) were sandwiched in between two weeks of relative cool. But whether it’s unbearably hot or relatively cool, I’m still drinking coffee, and I’ve discovered that coffee really is better in your favorite mug: and my favorite mug is a plain white one.

I’ve also discovered that a coffee break is even better with a book than with social media: and my current favorite is Stephen Hawking’s The Illustrated Brief History of Time (a Christmas gift from last year). I can make it through only a couple pages at a time before my brain is exhausted, the coffee cup is drained, and it’s back to home school.

703779_1035984719770761_6380675332984077553_oI was bummed to miss a partial solar eclipse this month, but our teammates captured an amazing picture of it. To console myself over the loss, I took note of the next time we’ll be able to see a partial solar eclipse in Cambodia (3 years from now).

I had to take a few solo tuk tuk rides across the city for various events. I hadn’t done that in a while, and I took advantage of that time to listen to worship music on my iPod. It was so calming and centering that I think I must have needed those hours to just listen and breathe.

We attended a workshop that explained a spiritual gifts inventory/DISC personality profile that we had previously taken. The workshop helped me understand myself and my husband better, highlighted a spiritual gift I never knew I had, and also offered guidance for how to approach people with different motivations and personalities than myself. (That last part I found extremely helpful!)

I’m absolutely elated that my husband is giving me the gift of one afternoon per week to get out of the house and write! It was his idea and such a surprise, and I’m getting so much more accomplished with these afternoons.

I’ve been drinking Twinings Pure Peppermint Herbal Infusion in the afternoons and evenings, steeping two bags at a time for extra minty power. (Those of you who’ve known me any amount of time know I love mint.)

I’m also loving Spin Pins from Goody, which keep my hair in a loose but secure bun that doesn’t induce headaches or put pressure on my scalp. I know that seems random and superficial, but as a headache-prone person in this kind of heat, the Spin Pins sure are quick, convenient, and comfortable.

And now on to some more useful favorites!

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BOOKS

Jane of Lantern Hill by Lucy Maud Montgomery. I relate to Jane so much. She doesn’t fit in, and she’s searching for Home. (I wrote a little about my experience with this book in this post.) What I love about this book is how Montgomery has such a firm grasp on human nature, yet she tells this story through the eyes of a child. And the descriptive language is breathtaking. You’ll find some of my favorite quotes at the end of this post.

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle. This was another childhood favorite of mine, and I relate to Meg so much. Just like Jane, Meg doesn’t fit in and is searching for belonging. (I also relate to Meg’s quirky love for math.) I was going to keep this gem all to myself for a little re-read until my older kids spied my copy of it and begged me to read it aloud to them. I relented, and was ever so glad. We read it in three days; we simply couldn’t put it down. A few of my favorite quotes are at the end of this post.

Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis. Lewis’s own statement that “A children’s story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children’s story in the slightest” has been my guide as I re-read Jane of Lantern Hill by myself, as I read A Wrinkle in Time with my kids, and of course as we continue to read through the Chronicles of Narnia together. I continue to be amazed by Lewis’s wisdom and imagination, and I’m in a bit of a hurry to get to The Silver Chair, as it’s my favorite. But alas we’re going through The Voyage of the Dawn Treader first, as we probably should. Again, a few of my favorite Narnia quotes are at the end.

Luke: The Gospel of Amazement by Michael Card. I returned to Card’s book this month. The introductory chapters especially give a beautiful, broad sweep of the book of Luke. I could read them over and over again, they’re that good (but unfortunately are too long to quote here).

A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L’Engle. I’m still reading L’Engle’s non-fiction on writing, words, life, and God. Sometimes she gets so dense I can’t follow her, but she’s always thought-provoking. I sometimes read little sections at night before bed. A few of my favorite quotes are listed at the end of this post.

Wondrous Encounters by Richard Rohr. I finished working through Rohr’s Lent devotional, but I have to confess that he, too, sometimes borders on the erudite. Sometimes I get him; sometimes I don’t. You’ll find some of his better, more straight-forward quotes at the end of this post.

And lastly, sometimes before bed I leaf through The 50 Most Extreme Places in the Solar System, a book I found two years ago for pretty cheap but had never really looked at it. (So if you want to explore that book, might I suggest a public library?) I appreciate the planetary science in this book, and I finally understand some questions about earth’s mantle that have been bugging me for years.

(A note about the number of books I’m reading right now, as I realize it seems like a lot: At the beginning of this year I committed to read more in print, both with my children and by myself. The Read Aloud Revival podcast had inspired me, and I want to keep enjoying read-aloud times with my kids even as they get older. I also knew I wanted to read less on a screen. This month’s book list evidences implementation of said resolution. But I should also add that with a number of these books — especially the ones I read on my own — I only read a page or two at a time!)

 

BLOG POSTS

You Just Never Know When a Coconut Might Kill You by Amy Medina. A fellow irrational fear-ist! Plus she’s funny.

The Metaphor in the Front Yard by Sarah Bessey. I’m so glad Sarah put this on her blog! I had read it in her January newsletter, but until now there was no way to share it publicly. Do NOT miss this amazing piece of writing.

Out of the Pit and Back Again by Jennifer May. A meditation on Psalm 40, especially for people in ministry and missions. Absolutely thick with insight. Jennifer is also a TCK/MK.

Parenting and the Power of Place by Marilyn Gardner. As a TCK, I can tend to focus only on heaven and life with Christ as my true home. I sometimes forget about the value of physical places — but of course my own memories of Home are always about physical places and physical people. So I was thankful for this reminder!

Hear Me Roar — But Don’t See Me Cry by Bronwyn Lea. She tells the truth about how I naturally deal with my emotions too, by covering over pain with anger. And I have to continually stretch myself in order to deal with the real, underlying issues instead of the icing of anger and irritation.

Good News on a Good Friday by Robynn Bliss. Read this winsome re-telling of the Gospel story.

Standing Up Crooked Together by Craig Thompson. A gracious offer of community and comradeship (I love the word comrade, don’t you?), and a beautiful picture of how the Church is supposed to function.

When You’re Craving Validation Today, Read This by Lisa-Jo Baker. I’ve never read anything by Lisa-Jo Baker before, but I think you’ll have to agree this is beautiful.

I found the next several posts through the hosting The Grove at Velvet Ashes. The theme was “Yoke,” and the link-ups simply overwhelmed me with goodness:

Master of this Yoke by Michele Womble. More great poetry from a lady whose words never fail me in their denseness and richness.

Seeking the Easy Yoke at Jodie’s Journal. This post quotes large sections from Paul W. Chappell’s book, The Burden Bearer. I don’t know the book, but Chappell’s quotes are not to be missed!

Traveling Light Through Life by Dorette Skinner. Astute correlations between life with God and the art of international travel.

Three Secrets of Soul Rest by Leslie Verner. The first point about where our burdens really come from might surprise you — but it’s been my experience nonetheless.

 

MUSIC

This is How Love Wins by Steven Curtis Chapman. This song was part of our Easter service. The video is kind of hard to watch, but don’t miss the chorus:

“This is how Love wins, every single time
Climbing high upon a tree where someone else should die
This is how Love heals, the deepest part of you
Letting Himself bleed into the middle of your wounds
This is what Love says, standing at the door
You don’t have to be who you’ve been before
Silenced by His voice, death can’t speak again
This is how Love wins”

No Longer Slaves by Jonathan and Melissa Helser. I love this song so much. So much. (In fact I wrote all about it here.) The truth about Abba Father’s love for us is what I want, above all else, to teach my children. If I can teach them nothing else, this is what I want them to know. You can listen to the beautiful back story of the song here.

This I Believe (The Creed) by Hillsong. I wrote about remembering Jesus through the Apostles’ Creed, and this steadying, steadfast song came rushing back to me. It’s been a Favorite before, but it’s worth a re-listen for its encapsulation of the foundations of our faith. (And speaking of the creeds, IF:Equip is currently studying through the Nicene Creed. They say it works better on a mobile device than a traditional computer, but I’m receiving the daily emails, so I can still listen to the conversations.)

None But Jesus by Hillsong. I think the phrase “there is no one else for me” pretty much sums it all up.

Cornerstone by Hillsong. This was the first song that played on one of my long tuk tuk rides. Then I arrived at the event, and we sang it corporately. I thought maybe God was trying to say something to me. . .

Where Would We Be by Matt Redman. “Where would we be without Your love? We’d still be lost in darkness. Where would we be without Your cross? You made a way to save us.” Another song from one of my long tuk tuk rides. Love that Gospel message. It never gets old.

This is Amazing Grace by Phil Wickham. We sang it on Easter morning. Enough said.

Sometimes by Step by Rich Mullins. A sermon about walking in step with the Spirit reminded me of this classic song, which I think might be the theme song for my life: “Oh God, You are my God, and I will ever praise You. And I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways. And step by step You’ll lead me, and I will follow You all of my days.”

(Speaking of Rich Mullins, you can never have too many of his songs, right? Here’s one of his last concerts, recorded at Wheaton. I especially love his song The Love of God, which was so precious to me last year.)

All Men are Broken by Misty Edwards. I fiercely want to communicate God’s love to my children, but I sometimes (like this month) find myself being more short-tempered with them than I’d like. I had to get on my knees and tell them I was sorry and that God is a much better parent than Mommy. I hope they can learn God is not like Mommy but is infinitely better.

 

MOVIES, PODCASTS, AND VIDEOS

Tracey Bickle on overcoming offense. Tracey’s book Chaos Beneath the Shade greatly helped me in working through some bitterness and anger at the beginning of this year. And it was largely because of her that I began a gratitude journal. This short video is a little snippet of her main message.

Q&A session with Dr. N.T. Wright at Oklahoma Christian University. I love listening to the way Wright answers questions with no hesitation and with such knowledge of the Scriptures. Listening to him makes me realize how very much I don’t know. I first heard Wright speak on women in ministry several years ago, and I loved the way he started with Mary Magdalene at the resurrection as the starting point for including women in ministry. He touches on that in this question-and-answer period and also gives thoughtful answers to questions about controversial topics like predestination. And, he LOVES the Church. It’s so obvious in the way he esteems both the Church and individual Christians. That’s uncommonly refreshing in this day and age.

Christianity and Gendered Eating by Christina Van Dyke. This isn’t anything I’d ever put words to before, but it’s something I’ve felt, and this was so very refreshing a perspective.

Undone/Redone podcast interviewed Jacque Watkins from the Mud Stories podcast, which I also love. Jacque’s story is a tear-jerker, so get ready to cry all over your desk (or wherever it is that you listen to podcasts). Here’s Part 2 of the interview.

This Is Not a Feminist Song by Ariana Grande and the ladies of Saturday Night Live. I should preface this by saying I don’t normally watch Saturday Night Live. But a friend shared this song, and I fell in love. It’s so funny I couldn’t stop laughing, and so true I couldn’t stop singing it. (And be forewarned that there’s one minor bad word.)

Wives and Daughters, a BBC adaptation of Elizabeth Gaskell’s novel of the same name. An international teenager who knew how much I loved Gaskell’s North and South recommended this one. A gentle love story with well-developed characters, and another triumph of screenwriter Andrew Davies.

 

The rest of the post is just quotes, so if you’re not interested, you can just stop here 🙂

 

C.S. LEWIS QUOTES (from Prince Caspian):

Too often I ask “what would have happened if. . . .” I needed this conversation between Lucy and Aslan as a gentle reminder to stop:

“’You mean, said Lucy rather faintly, ‘that it would have turned out all right – somehow? But how? Please, Aslan, am I not to know?’

‘To know what would have happened? No. Nobody is ever told that.’

‘Oh dear,’ said Lucy.

‘But anyone can find out what will happen,’ said Aslan.”

Then, an experience we have probably all had:

“’Aslan,’ said Lucy, you’re bigger.’

‘That is because you are older, little one,’ answered he.

‘Not because you are?’

‘I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.’”

On mutual joy between Creator and the created:

“But all night, Aslan and the Moon gazed upon each other with joyful and unblinking eyes.”

A hag/witch offers her services to fight evil with evil, illustrating the need to be wary of the source of our power:

“I have some poor little skill in small spells and cantrips that I’d be glad to use against our enemies if it was agreeable to all concerned. For I hate ’em. Oh yes. No one hates better than me.”

 

MADELEINE L’ENGLE QUOTES (from A Wrinkle in Time):

Closely following on that last Lewis quote is a quote from L’Engle’s main character Meg, who was told to fight the evil power IT with something she had that IT didn’t have:

“What have I got that IT hasn’t got. . . . suddenly she knew. She knew! Love. That was what she had that IT did not.”

And then Meg uses all the love she has received from her family and friends and the love she cherishes for her brother in order to save him from the clutches of the evil IT, who had taken her brother captive. Love: so much better and more powerful than hate and anger.

A statement from Meg, on understanding the tesseract (a way to skip through space-time faster than light):

“For just a moment I got it! I can’t possibly explain it now, but for a second I saw it!”

I read this statement as a child and hid it somewhere deep inside me. During engineering school I would pull it out and use it: I always wanted to understand WHY we used certain formulas. If I could understand a proof, even if for only a second, then I knew I could trust it forever. (And this was especially true of “residuals” with Dr. Sitton!)

From Calvin, who doesn’t fit into his own family, on his way to another family’s house for supper:

“I’ve never even seen your house, and I have the funniest feeling that for the first time in my life I’m going home!”

And a word for TCKs and other third culture people:

“It’s my worst trouble, getting fond. If I didn’t get fond I could be happy all the time.” 

 

MADELEINE L’ENGLE QUOTES (from A Circle of Quiet):

These are some of the quotes that brought me to tears, because I was like, um, yes!

“Every so often I need OUT; something will throw me into total disproportion, and I have to get away from everybody – away from all these people I love most in the world – in order to regain a sense of proportion.”

“My special place is a small brook in a green glade, a circle of quiet from which there is no visible sign of human beings.”

“All during the decade of my thirties (the world’s fifties) I went through spasms of guilt because I spent so much time writing, because I wasn’t like a good New England housewife and mother.”

 

LUCY MAUD MONTGOMERY QUOTES (from Jane of Lantern Hill):

Because I think everyone can relate to this in some way:

“Jane opened the most secret chamber of her heart and took him in . . . nay, found him there.”

From the section when Jane first sees the sea on Prince Edward Island, because I feel this way about the sea too (and about palm trees):

“She had seen Lake Ontario, pale blue and shimmering, but this. . .this? She continued to look at it as if she could never have enough of it.” 

Boy do I ever relate to this statement from Jane’s father:

“I can write, my Jane, but I can’t make porridgeable porridge.”

As I said, I like to look at the night sky, and this is one of the reasons:

“’Watch the stars whenever you are worried, Jane,’ said dad. ‘They’ll steady you . . . comfort you . . . balance you.’” 

Thoughts on home and belonging:

“Jane said nothing at first. She could only look. She had never been there before but it seemed as if she had known it all her life. The song the sea-wind was singing was music native to her ears. She had always wanted to ‘belong’ somewhere and she belonged here. At last she had a feeling of home.”

“’This. . . this is home,’ said Jane. Home . . . something she had never known before. She was nearer crying then than she had ever been in her life.”

“’As soon as you hang a picture on the wall,’ said dad, ‘the wall becomes your friend. A blank wall is hostile.’”

“Moonlight was spilling over everything from a full moon that hung like an enormous bubble over what must be a bay or harbor, and there was one splendid, sparkling trail across the water. So there was a moon in P.E. Island too. Jane hadn’t really believed it before. And polished to the Queen’s taste. It was like seeing an old friend. That moon was looking down on Toronto as well as P.E. Island. Perhaps it was shining on Jody, asleep in her little attic room, or on mother, coming home from some gay affair. Suppose she were looking at it this very moment! It no longer seemed a thousand miles to Toronto.”

Thoughts on introversion and the inner life:

“Jane went out and up and sat on the hill . . . ‘to get back into herself’ as she expressed it. She had really been out of herself ever since the morning, more or less.”

“Jane had pushed the window open and the scent of fern came in. Also a strange, soft, faraway sound. . . the moaning call of the sea. The night seemed to be filled with it. Jane heard it and something deep down in her responded to it with a thrill that was between anguish and rapture.”

Because I live in Cambodia and laughed out loud when I read this:

“I made a cake yesterday and ants got in the icing. I was so mortified because we had company for supper. I wish I knew how to keep ants in their place.”

And lastly, some thoughts on grief:

“Jane walked the floor of her room all the rest of that afternoon. She dared not sit down for a moment. It seemed that as long as she kept moving, her pain marched with her and she could bear it. If she were to stop, it would crush her.”

Which reminded me of the quote from Barbara Kingsolver’s The Poisonwood Bible, which I didn’t read when the Velvet Ashes Book Club read it, but I remember them talking about this quote:

“As long as I kept moving, my grief streamed out behind me like a swimmer’s long hair in water. I knew the weight was there but it didn’t touch me. Only when I stopped did the slick, dark stuff of it come float in around my face, catching my arms and throat till I began to drown. So I just didn’t stop.”

 

RICHARD ROHR QUOTES (from Wondrous Encounters):

Prayers for everyday and everyone:

“God of Spirit and Truth, I know that no change of heart happens without a change of mind, and no change of mind happens without a change of heart. Get me started in one place or the other!”

“God of love and justice, let me know and live that they are not separate. Loving people will do justice, and just people will do their work with love and respect.”

On Jesus’s story of the publican and the sinner, and Hosea’s statement that “I desire mercy, not sacrifice”:

“The Pharisee is the common heroic ‘sacrificer.’ People do not realize that this gesture largely feeds the ego and one’s sense of self much more than anything else. God does not need it. You need it. Sacrifice is unconsciously an attempt to control God, who does much better without our control. ‘I fast twice a week, I pay tithes on all I possess . . . . I am not like the rest of men,’ he says. It looks like you are giving to God, country, church, the sports team, so all will undoubtedly admire you for it.

The social payoffs are so ego-inflating, there is no likelihood that ‘for God and country’ thinking will diminish anytime soon. Sacrifice is often good and needed in life to help other people, but too often it is an attempt to build a more positive self-image by distinguishing oneself from others.”

On prophecy:

“Most of us have been led to believe that prophets ‘foretell’ the future. That is true, and it is also misleading. It is not the point here. Prophets are seers of the big patterns; they see what is always and forever true. Prophets like Isaiah know how God acts by watching and listening, and they have no doubt about the ‘meta-narratives,’ the Real Story that is always going on inside of our little stories.”

On having blind spots:

“Our lack of self-knowledge and our lack of wisdom make humans do very stupid and self-destructive things. Because humans cannot see their own truth very well, they do not read reality very well either. We all have our tragic flaws and blind spots. Humans always need more light or enlightenment about themselves and about the endless mystery of God.”

On sin:

“Spirituality is about seeing. Sin is about blindness, or as Saint Gregory of Nyssa will say, ‘Sin is always a refusal to grow.’”

On prayer:

“The secret in biblical prayer in always to expect God to be true to God’s own name, identity, and patterns of goodness in the past, and not just begging God to conform to my immediate ego needs.”

On hope:

“Hope is not some vague belief that ‘all will work out well,’ but Biblical hope is the certainty that things finally have a victorious meaning no matter how they turn out.”

A Few of My Favorite Things {February 2016}

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I can’t believe it’s the end of February already! I started writing again this month, beginning with a piece I submitted a couple weeks ago but that hasn’t published yet. There were also some deliciously cool days this month, which both surprised and delighted me, as cool days are all usually relegated to January. Also a highlight of this month were two (two!!) dates with my husband. There’s nothing I love more than dreaming about the future and processing the past with my favorite man, all over a cup of coffee and a side of palm trees. ~Elizabeth

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BOOKS

Seth Haines’s Coming Clean. Seth’s book took an unexpected turn from doubt and pain into unforgiveness this month. I had only finished half the book last month, but it was already so good I simply had to recommend it. (And the second half did not disappoint!)

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. I read this with my kids this month. There’s nothing like meeting Christ and Him crucified through the pages of Lewis’s Narnia. Nothing.  We also read through The Magician’s Nephew, which was actually quite good and not nearly as strange as I remember it, and then started in on Prince Caspian. (Yes, I am bucking the Creation-to-Christ trend of missionaries, and we are reading the Chronicles in the order I deem fit: first Christ, and then Creation, and then further histories.)

A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L’Engle. As a child I met L’Engle through her children’s novel A Wrinkle in Time. It’s one of my all-time favorite books (along with Lewis’s The Silver Chair, for their obvious connection in standing up against Evil, of course).  I’ve been wanting to read L’Engle’s Crosswicks Journals for over two years now but have never made the time for it. I finally cracked open the first one this month and was in tears by the second page. Madeleine was so honest, relatable, and similarly enamored of words that I knew right away we were going to be good friends.

Wondrous Encounters by Richard Rohr. Last year during Lent I worked through a compilation of Henri Nouwen’s writings called Show Me the Way. It was the first time I’ve ever done anything related to Lent and was such a rich experience that I knew I wanted to do a Lent study again, so I bought this book in America last fall. It’s so good that at the end of this post I’ll share some quotes from it.

 

BLOG POSTS

In the Light of Home by Jennifer Trafton. Meditations on home and, for the word-lovers among us, a new Welsh word for its accompanying longing: hiraeth (As an aside I understand knowing the light of a certain place, as I have that kind of relationship with the light in my Cambodian living room.) If you’re an expat or a TCK, or a wanderer of any kind, and you read none of my other recommendations this month, make this the one you do read.

The Race and Contented Competing, both by Michele Womble. Both of these were short meditations on the theme of “Compete.” But don’t be deceived by their brevity; Michele’s words are packed with wisdom and insight. I love it when she links up with the Grove, which she often does in a poetic format.

How Old is Sisterhood? by Idelette McVicker. I spent years attending a Ladies’ Bible Class at our sending church, and they’re some of my favorite memories. One woman was a young mom like me, but most were older than I was by a generation or more, and they literally prayed, counseled, and empathized me through a particularly deep, dark time in my life. This article reminded me of our priceless Thursday mornings together those many years ago.

Things No One Told Me About Grief by Rachel Pieh Jones. That title and that author are all you need to know in order to read this piece. Her words here tell a universal yet personal story.

Why Are We Here? by Jonathan Trotter. A beautiful encapsulation of the Gospel and of Kingdom work, by my dear husband.

Your Blind Spot is Only Blind to You by Kathy Ferguson Litton. This gave me a good kind of “ouch.” It put into words a truth I need to remember and made me feel sorry for the people who regularly see my blind spots and have to put up with them.

Let’s Talk About Sin . . . Again by Cindy Brandt. This article blew the top off my understanding of David’s sin. I already thought he had committed egregious sins, but this opened my eyes even more to the fact that David had power, prestige, and privilege — and he abused them all. No wonder he was so contrite in Psalm 51.

Welcome to the Past (and Why It Matters) by Susan Wise Bauer. Written by one of my very favorite authors, this is the launch piece for a new series on the Psychology Today website.

On Staying, Leaving, and Which is Harder by Abby Alleman. About one of the best and most important lessons we will ever learn — but one that’s usually learned through fire.

 

VIDEOS

Necessity of Seasons by Jonathan and Melissa Helser. Beautiful, honest, and relatable as I attempt both to follow Christ and to string together words that express my followership. A guest writer at Velvet Ashes recommended this video.

Interview with Jonathan and Melissa Helser. This video followed the first one, so naturally I watched it. It offers some really good reflections on God-glorifying art and seeking God’s heart alone instead of the approval of the Crowd. (One of these days I want to talk about Misty Edwards’s conversation on creativity and listening to God at the onething 2015 conference, but I simply haven’t had the time yet.)

Minor Revisions Episode 1 with Jen Fulwiler, an atheist to Catholic convert. I was fascinated by this reality TV miniseries. Not because she chose Catholicism — don’t worry gentle readers, I am happy in my Protestantism! — but because of her journey from unbelief to belief. Atheism proved itself hopeless and meaningless, so she set out on a search for God. Her story is of a changed life and a changed heart. She’s also a writer, which of course I connected with. Here are Episode 2 and Episode 3.

Where’s the Washing Machine? and Why are You Covering Up? by Natural Khmer Lessons. A friend here in country shared a link to these Natural Khmer Lessons in a recent newsletter. They are fun and funny and give some good insight into the cultural differences between Cambodia and America, for any of my readers who are interested in that sort of thing. (In defense of Cambodians, the sun is so strong here that it really can be more comfortable to wear long sleeves in the heat. And my washing machine doesn’t have a central agitator like it did in the States, so some dirt has to be scrubbed out by hand anyway.)

One more cultural story — watching these videos reminded me of the time during our first term when Jonathan was watering the plants outside our front door. Our neighbor asked, “Jonny, do you know how to water plants?” “Uh, apparently not,” he thought. She proceeded to show him the proper, Cambodian, way to water plants: to sprinkle water all over the leaves instead of pouring water on the soil. Funnily enough, growing up as an American I was specifically taught not to water the leaves, as it would make them wilt (is that true??) and to only water the soil. But everywhere we go in Cambodia, people water their plants the way our neighbor instructed us, and every time I witness a plant-watering session, I smile to myself at the differences between East and West.

 

MUSIC

My Soul Longs for Jesus by Planetshakers. Beautiful modern-day hymn that doesn’t merely sing the same chorus over and over again (though there’s a place for that, too, as you’ve seen in many of my “favorite things” songs before). I’ve been singing this song all month. Read the full lyrics here.

I Will Bring You Home by Michael Card. My husband grew up listening to this song and recently re-discovered it. (In fact Jonathan introduced me to Card’s music in general, and I have several favorite Card songs myself.) This song is for the global nomad. I love the “kingdom now and not yet” theology in this song. Jesus is our Home even now, and one day He will also bring us to our final Home. Lyrics are located under the video.

As an aside I’m also planning to read Card’s (relatively) new commentary/devotional books on the Gospels this year. I’ve started on Luke: The Gospel of Amazement and learned a lot already in just the beginning chapters, but am currently sidetracked by a few other books, including Rohr’s Lent book (which I mentioned earlier) and Tracey Bickle’s Chaos Beneath the Shade: How to Uproot and Stay Free from Bitterness, which caught my eye at the onething2015 conference (and which I believe was Holy Spirit-directed).

Sinking Deep by Hillsong Young & Free. Heard this at church this month. It’s a good basic summary of all the things I’ve learned about God and His love and grace over the last several years.

I Will Praise Him, Still by Fernando Ortega. An old song that I randomly remembered this month. Beautiful and true and reflects my deepest desires. (My husband also introduced me to Ortega, and as a teenager, he and his mom would listen to this song on their way to her chemo treatments.)

 

QUOTES

Marilyn Gardner in Waving Olive Branches:

“Forgiveness is not easy. We give up our rights to hold on to wrong-doing, we give up our rights to be victims, we extend grace to the perpetrator. Sometimes forgiveness costs us everything we have, everything we can give. But there is no ambiguity in the Biblical call to forgive, there is no grey area, there is no ‘but what about…?’”

Frederick Buechner (via Marilyn Gardner):

Life is grace. Sleep is forgiveness. The night absolves. Darkness wipes the slate clean, not spotless to be sure, but clean enough for another day’s chalking.” 

I’m a big believer in His mercies being new every morning, and that to access that mercy, we need only sleep.

I’ve talked before about the International Children’s Bible Field Guide, which we are using for family devotionals and which doesn’t shy away from hard topics, even for children. (Better to address tricky questions now, when they still live under our roof, rather than later when they don’t, right?) There’s a section describing the responsibilities of Old Testament priests that concluded with this comment:

“Today when Christians pray for others, or teach them about God, we are being priests to them.”

Sometimes it takes a children’s vantage point to give hands and feet to a Scriptural concept. I’ve always loved the verse about us being “a royal priesthood,” but I had focused more on our ability to contact God directly (through Jesus Christ our High Priest) and on the equality that brings to all believers. I had never thought about the fact that we act as priests to each other when we serve each other in Jesus’s name, and I’ll never look at our shared mutual priesthood the same again.

Speaking of which, I just discovered Revelation 1:6 which triumphantly declares that:

“He has made us a kingdom of priests for God his Father.”

St. Benedict, as found in Kimberlee Conway Ireton’s book The Circle of Seasons (which I’d been wanting to read for years and won in a book giveaway from Amy Young):

“Repentance is praying with tears.”

More and more I’m coming to understand how essential it is for my life and my relationship with God to regularly practice repentance. And yes, it almost always involves tears. (Bonus tip: Kimberlee is currently blogging through the Psalms of Ascent for Lent.)

Asaph spoke straight at my heart in Psalm 73:21-26:

Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant — I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

C.S. Lewis in The Magician’s Nephew:

“For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are.”

C.S. Lewis and Richard Rohr, in parallel quotes from The Magician’s Nephew and Wondrous Encounters:

“All get what they want; they do not always like it.” (Lewis)

“We will all receive exactly what our lives say we really want and desire: Love is always torment for the hateful, and final torment is impossible for the loving.” (Rohr)

Susan Wise Bauer on the 6th century Byzantine rulers Emperor Justinian and Empress Theodora, in The Story of the World Volume 2:

“The two of them ruled side by side, and Justinian rarely made a decision without consulting his wife.”

Were they perhaps the first egalitarian couple? Even my sons cheered their marriage.

Anisha Hopkinson (who blogs here and also at A Life Overseas) told this story on her personal Facebook page:

“This morning I about fell apart – in church no less.

The kind of falling apart when you actually hear the screws coming loose in your head and your heart is pounding so hard any moment it’ll break right through your shaking chest and a fleeting, ‘Watch it. You’re going to lose your witness.’ flashes through your mind right before you become completely unglued.

At least this is one particularly helpful thing about my marriage – My husband and I seem to have opposite freak out moments. If I’m about to pop, he’s usually ok, and vice versa.

So while I had my moment in church this morning, he had his when we got home.

And after 2 years living in the melting pot of all things stressful, here’s what we’ve learned-

Be the safe place.

Seriously. Just let the other person have their freak out and you be the safe place that says with your quiet presence, ‘Totally ok. You won’t lose your witness with me. You just let all that out.’

Because there is so much PRESSURE to be this ‘authentic Christian’ person, but what people (or your own condemning thoughts) really mean is ‘yes, be ‘real’ but no mistakes or bad tempers, please.’ Because…

*You’ll lose your witness*

Which is actually just another way of saying, ‘People will see you for who you really are and it’s not at all *Christian* enough.’

Now, I’m not implying abusive or mean behaviours are acceptable, but I am saying – We all need safe places.

Safe places let unglued people freak out and meet them with grace and love, rather than insisting the ones struggling keep all their crap together and hidden with a smile on their face.

Friends, that’s the community I need. One that says: Don’t worry. I’ll be a safe place when you come unglued. You do the same for me.

I’d take that kind of witness any day.”

To finish out this post, here are several Richard Rohr quotes so you understand why I’m loving his Lent study so much:

“You cannot begin to desire something if you have not already slightly tasted it.”

“You could not have such desires if God had not already desired them first — in you and for you and as you.”

“We can only be tempted to something that is good on some level, partially good, or good for some, or just good for us and not for others. Temptations are always about ‘good’ things, or we could not be tempted.”

“As the Danish philospher Søren Kierkegaard wisely said, ‘Life must be lived forward, but it can only be understood backward.’ Jonah knew what God was doing, and how God does it, and how right God is — only after emerging from the belly of the whale. He has no message whatsoever to give until he has first endured the journey, the darkness, the spitting up on the right shore — all in spite of his best efforts to avoid these very things. Jonah is indeed our Judeo-Christian symbol of transformation.”

“Did you know that you only ask for what you have already begun to experience? Otherwise it would never occur to you to ask for it. Further, God seems to plant within us the desire to pray for what God already wants to give us, and even better, God has already begun to give it to us! We are always just seconding the motion, but the first motion is always and forever from God. The fact that you prayed at all means God just started giving to you a second ago. . . . It is not that we pray and God answers. It is that our praying is already God answering within us and through us.”

A Few of My Favorite Things {January 2016}

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We transitioned back to Cambodia this month. It was so good to arrive back home and see our friends and teammates again. We put our house back together and started home school as soon as possible, leaving me tired but happy. Having our own space again allowed me more time to spend alone with God, something I desperately needed. And while I’m still not doing any substantial writing, I did want to share the words and music that shaped my month. Enjoy! ~Elizabeth

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BOOKS

Coming Clean by Seth Haines. Such a good book. This memoir chronicles the first 90 days of Seth’s sobriety, but it isn’t only for those who struggle with alcohol. It’s for people who numb their pain by any method. The core pain in Seth’s life was disappointment with (and subsequent doubt in) a God who didn’t seem to heal or answer prayer. His use of language is beautiful and poetic yet clear and understandable. You can get a glimpse of his story by listening to this interview.

Looming Transitions by Amy Young. My blogging friend Amy asked if I would read and review her upcoming book on transitions. I wasn’t able to finish it before the official book launch in January because I was, ironically enough, taking her advice to stay grounded in Christ during transition, so I chose to read my Bible instead of her book. Now that I’m resettled in Cambodia, I finally finished it, and I can tell you it’s chock full of clear and practical advice, including several helpful metaphors — the most important of which is about soil and farming. Also watch for the section on transitive and intransitive verbs that got my husband asking me what I was laughing so hard about.

 

BLOG POSTS

Where We Have Gone Sideways by Kirstin McGrath. A beautiful meditation on Eden and wanting More. Velvet Ashes had great content this month on the theme of Eden, and Kirstin’s post in particular had me pondering something new.

Get Thirsty by Patty Stallings. How to cultivate a thirst for God, and how to quench said thirst. Velvet Ashes also had awesome content on the theme of Thirsty. Incidentally, both “Eden” and “Thirsty” were based off major themes in Amber Haines’ memoir Wild in the Hollow. (And to make just one more connection here, Amber Haines and Seth Haines are married. To each other.)

Gifts without Bows: Telling and Receiving Stories as They Are by Craig Thompson. Don’t be fooled, this seemingly Christmas-themed post is applicable all year round. Do we have people with whom we can be honest, people with whom we do not need to prettily package up our stories? I do, and I pray you do, too.

The Radical Spiritual Art of Staying Put by Stephanie Ebert.  I relate to so much in this spiritual memoir, even though I’m not a missionary kid! I think everyone can relate to something in this post, as Stephanie pretty much covers the entire gamut of American Christianity in the last forty years or so, but you’ll especially relate if you’ve worked or grown up in missions or ministry.

Travel Delusions by Hsu-Ann Lee. An honest examination of the effects of international travel on our identity — and on our pride.

On How Elephants Can Escape Their Chains, and We Can Too by Anita Mathias.  How does Anita do it, manage to write my heart and my struggles, over and over again? Sometimes I really struggle with forgiving others. (I’ve also found Rachel Pieh Jones’ article on forgiveness to be helpful both in redefining what forgiveness means and also how to do it.)

 

POETRY

Thirsty by Michele Womble. Don’t miss this poem by a fellow overseas worker! I found it when she linked up with Velvet Ashes for their “Thirsty” theme.

“Petrichor” by Kathleen Brewin Lewis. I shared this as a photo last month on Facebook. I found the poem on my friend’s fridge:

Two geologists made this word from the Greek, petros for stone, and ichor, for the liquid that flows through the veins of the gods.

They wanted to name the scent of parched earth after fresh rain: The reconstituted redolence of salted silt marbled with terra cotta.

This old, dry world brought back to loamy life – another name for mercy.

 

HOME SCHOOL

The Official Teaching From Rest Book Club by Sarah Mackenzie. I would LOVE home school parents’ input on these ideas. I haven’t yet read her book Teaching from Rest, but I follow her blog and Facebook page, and I’ve watched these book club videos. They are so intriguing, the ideas so attractive. Please let me know what you think about these teaching concepts! And any idea on how to implement them?? Would love to have a conversation.

Part 1: Whose Well Done Are You Working For?

Part 2: Curriculum is Not Something You Buy

Part 3: Be Who You Are!

What is Scholé? by Dr. Christopher Perrin and Sarah Mackenzie. I’m enchanted by the educational ideas in these videos. Scholé means “restful learning,” the kind of conversing and philosophizing that happens among good friends with good food and drink. It’s the kind of thing I loved as a teenager and still love as an adult. My only question — how to make this practically happen in a home school setting??

 

SONGS

“I Shall Not Want” by Audrey Assad. Ever since I heard this song at the onething 2015 conference in late December, it’s been in my head and on my lips. “I shall not want, no I shall not want, when I taste Your goodness, I shall not want.” Can’t say enough good things about this song, or her voice. This is the live version I heard.

Mercy by Amanda Cook. “You delight in showing mercy, and mercy triumphs over judgment.” I also heard this at the onething 2015 conference, and it stayed with me. At the conference Amanda said, “The only One worthy to judge delights in showing mercy.” I would do well to remember this, for both myself and others. This is the live version I heard.

I Still Believe by Kim Walker-Smith. I first fell in love with this song a couple years ago, and I heard it again on Jonathan’s phone as we were packing to come back to Cambodia. Then I heard it again on my little iPod shuffle over the Pacific. And then strangely enough, the iPod shuffled back to it again before we landed. So I thought perhaps God was trying to tune my ears to its message.

You Satisfy My Soul by Laura Hackett Park. “Thirsty” week at Velvet Ashes had me remembering this song (which beautifully complements Audrey’s song, don’t you think?).

 

QUOTES

Leslie Verner, in her Velvet Ashes post When You Feel Spiritually Dehydrated . . . Again:

“On a recent road trip, my three-year-old son cried for his water cup. I eventually took off my seatbelt as my husband drove and I craned my arm back to search for his cup. I finally found it—under his arm. Immediately following, my one-year-old daughter shrieked for her water. I found it on the floorboard, but as soon as I handed it to her she hurled it back down. And it occurred to me that these are the two ways we often approach God’s attempts to quench our soul: we either don’t notice His provision for us or we throw the spiritual nourishment back in His face because it doesn’t fit our rules for what is ‘spiritual enough.’” 

These are the first words spoken in the television show Christy, which I’ve been watching with my girls. They are beautiful (and they reminded me of my old post How Do You Write Your Name in the Land? ):

“The Great Smokies. Nothing in my life had prepared me for the wonder of those mountains. Smoke blue and serene, folded one behind the other. I counted eleven ranges rising up toward the vault of the sky. I didn’t realize it then, but from the very first moment I saw them, the mountains were a source of peace and strength to me, always there to quiet my mind and satisfy my heart.”

Also regarding place, from C.S. Lewis’s The Pilgrim’s Regress (and found in Amy Young’s book):

“Be sure it is not for nothing that the Landlord has knit our hearts so closely to time and place — to one friend rather than another and one shire more than all the land.”

Dan Scott, metallurgical engineer, as quoted in the Fall/Winter 2015 volume of Missouri S&T Magazine. I thought they applied to more than just engineering:

“In the synthetic diamond industry that I work in, we aim to build products that last. The best way to do that is to take a step back and look at the worn products. To get to the root cause of what had limited the life and see if we can either improve it or create something entirely new.”

In America I was chatting with a long-time friend who is both a fellow engineer and a fellow home school mom. We were discussing (among other things) creation, God, and atheism. I mentioned that everyone worships something; atheists just stop at the cosmos. (You know this is true if you’ve ever heard an atheist speak about the universe; they hold the cosmos in high esteem.) My friend Vicki replied thus:

“Of course! It doesn’t require anything of them.” (Which was both incredibly true and something I had never, ever thought of before.)

From fellow missionary Chris Lautsbaugh (who blogs here):

“One of my students said the other day, ‘Grace is nonsense (in a good way).’ I like this. Grace is mind blowing, it is not rational, it sounds like a scandal, but oh so amazing.”

Ravi Zacharias:

“The older you get, the harder it is to fill your heart with wonder, and only God is big enough to fill it.”

Bonhoeffer:

“Bewilderment is true comprehension.”

Gerhard Tersteegen:

“A comprehended god is no god at all.”

Augustine:

“You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they can find rest in you.”

Miss Alice in the book and television show Christy, quoting her father. A guiding light for parents:

“Before God, I’ve just one duty as a father. That is to see that thee has a happy childhood tucked under thy jacket.”

And on that note, here are some parenting notes from Allen Hood at the onething 2015 conference. I’ve mentioned in other places that I dislike parenting books and can hardly stand to crack them open, let alone finish them. Even so, God has been teaching me a lot about parenting over the past several years, and each word Allen shared resonated deeply with me, mirroring my own journey — which is why I’m sharing his advice below.

  1. Ask our heavenly Father to reveal His heart to us.
  2. Ask the Lord to turn our hearts toward our children. 
  3. Ask our children to forgive our shortcomings.
  4. Talk about porn without shame. Fight the battle together. 
  5. Record our family’s memories.
  6. Keep an unwavering commitment to our spouses.

A Few of My Favorite Things {December 2015}

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To say the month of December was a bit of a rough patch emotionally is an understatement; even so, there were bright spots throughout, which I share below. I’ve also curated the best books, blog posts, and songs that I encountered this month. I hope you like them as much as I do. ~Elizabeth

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A week at Camp Tahkodah down in Arkansas. Jonathan grew up going to this camp, as did his mother before him (the reason being that his great-grandfather Dr. George Benson procured the camp for Harding University way back in the day). It was fun to watch my kids run wild through nature, renew their Frisbee skills, and practice their new-found baseball skills. It was a blast being able to take the entire family, including our littlest one, on longer and more difficult hikes. And with the sky unsaturated by city lights, we gazed at our familiar North American skies — even glimpsing some shooting stars on our first night!

Watching Jonathan’s uncle play catch with my sons and take them to the driving range. It does wonders for this momma’s heart to watch a Trotter Grandpa pour into my boys. Wonders.

Sunday morning at Downtown Church of Christ in Searcy, Arkansas. We attended Monte Cox’s Bible class (some of my readers know who he is), which he teaches alongside his wife and one other couple. The topic was “waiting on God,” and people shared their (often heart-breaking) stories of choosing to trust God in difficult circumstances, and of the ways God brought them through. I sat in the back and cried. It was so good to hear other Christians telling these kinds of stories; it’s not often I hear that in real life. And I really, really needed to listen to their stories and realize I’m not alone in my own struggles. (I share more specifics about that Sunday morning in both the blog and music sections.)

Handel’s Messiah. A long-time church friend invited (and paid for!) us to attend the Messiah with her. It was a wonderful Christmas present and more like a worship service than a concert. I love all the choruses and can’t choose a favorite from among them. I love hearing all the moving parts. And although perhaps cliché, I do love the Hallelujah Chorus. I can’t wait for heaven when we will all worship like that, and when all tears will be wiped away (including the ones I cried that night). One more thing about the Messiah — the sound of this music is to me, like light in the book of Genesis. Though light is created on Day 1, the source can’t be seen. When I watch the singers, I see them open their mouths, and I hear the sound, but the sound doesn’t seem to be coming from inside them. Rather, it seems to be coming from above and behind them — almost as if it were coming from Heaven itself. Which, if you think about it, is actually a pretty perfect metaphor.

Attending the onething 2015 conference. Can you say Matt Maher and Francis Chan? I can. 🙂 I realize I have varying tastes here, placing a modern worship conference alongside the Messiah as the best worship experiences of my month. Oh well, I love them both! This conference is organized by the International House of Prayer (IHOP), whose worship music I’ve referenced many times before. Back in 2011, the music of IHOP began working on my spirit, changing how I relate to God, how I relate to my husband, and even how I “do” ministry. And two years ago, the onething 2013 conference capped off a spiritually-dry furlough, sending us back to Cambodia refilled and refreshed. So I’ve been looking forward to this worship conference ever since!

It finally snowed! This will probably be our last winter in the States for a while, and my kids have been earnestly wishing for snow. A few days after Christmas we finally got some white stuff. We bundled up, threw snowballs, went sledding, made snow angels, and built a snowman. The kids even rode their bikes in the snow! Then my feet started to freeze, and we all went inside and drank hot chocolate. The End.

 

BOOKS

Nobody’s Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle. This memoir on female friendship is laugh-out-loud funny. As in, my husband’s trying to fall asleep, but I laugh so hard the bed starts shaking, and he tells me to stop. Repeatedly.

Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans. This book is a masterpiece. Gone is the angry, resentful Rachel; arrived is the older, wiser, more peaceful Rachel. It’s artful and poetic and captures the essence of Christianity and the Church. You should know I don’t land in the same place as Rachel on every issue — a reason I haven’t liked her two previous books, one of which was mostly a repeat of her first blog (and in which I disagreed with a lot of her conclusions) and one of which felt like a gimmick. So when I heard she was writing a third, I didn’t get too excited. I was curious, but I didn’t expect anything miraculous. In fact, I didn’t even pay full price for this book. I waited till it went on sale on Kindle. But. This book is so worth it. It proves that Rachel not only has superb writing ability, she’s got grace. And whatever theological differences you have with Rachel, just ignore them (as I did), because the rest of it is magnificent.

Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith by Sarah Bessey. This felt really familiar to me. That’s partly because Sarah is a friendly voice, and I’ve wrestled with many of the same issues, but it’s also because I’ve read some of the same content on her blog. (Which makes sense, because if I were to write a book, I might say things in new ways, but I’d probably also be saying a lot of the same things as I say on my blog, me being the same person and all.) So, if you’re new to Sarah Bessey and want a primer all in one place, this book is for you. I especially loved chapter 3 and then chapter 7 and beyond. For a separate introduction to some of her more recent work, check out her Top 10 Posts from 2015, all of which I also love.

 

NON-CHRISTMAS-RELATED BLOG POSTS

Leaving Narnia . . . My MK World by Taylor Murray. I feel this SO much (except about my expat world in Phnom Penh, as I’m obviously not a Missionary Kid). Taylor says it better than I ever could, so just read her post.

Searching for Home by Kathleen Shumate. A beautiful, tightly-written narrative about our innate longing for Home, a longing that can’t be completely fulfilled this side of eternity. I LOVE this piece.

Home and Wandering by Kay Bruner. Soothing words on Home (or lack thereof) for the Third Culture Kid (or the wanderer among us). First Kay quoted some of my favorite words of Moses in Psalm 90: “Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.” Then she talked about Richard Rohr’s idea that “Love is where we came from, and Love is where we are going.” And finally she circled back to the Prodigal Son. How can I not love a post like that??

Abandonment:”Seeing Us Through the Night” by Alan Howell. At the same Sunday morning Bible class I mentioned above, Alan read a section from C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters (that famous work of fiction in which an older demon advises a younger demon in how to trip up a Christian’s faith) that had greatly impacted him, and which caused me to burst into tears:

“Our cause is never in more danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our enemy’s will [God’s will], looks round upon a universe from which every trace of him [God] seems to have vanished and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

Later I contacted Alan and asked him for the quote, and he sent me a blog post in which he discusses the idea at length: Abandonment and the Power of Faith. It’s part of a longer series processing his emotions after a traumatic break-in in Mozambique (where they serve) and which also touches on other feelings of abandonment that have incurred while on the field. Also in the series is Abandonment: the wolves, the ifs, and the whys. It’s hard to find a missionary who is this honest about difficult emotions, so please don’t miss these posts.

In Which the Kindly Light of Christ Can Heal Our Worst Memories by Anita Mathias. I’ve experienced what Anita talks about here, but not in a long while. Perhaps the time has come again for me to carve out some white space in my calendar and seek healing (but probably not until after I return to Cambodia in the new year!).

7 Ways TCKs Deal with Grief by Taylor Murray. Not just for TCKs.  These are some unhealthy ways all of us can choose to deal with our grief (and their unfortunate consequences). I am guilty of some of these (but I’m working on it!).

 

CHRISTMAS-RELATED BLOG POSTS

Jacaranda (Is It, Then, Enough?) by Joanna Swart. Velvet Ashes featured some stellar Christmas content this year, including this poem by Joanna (who blogs here). I love every single word:

what if
the question is the answer

and the longing is the praise
what if

the dull ache in the belly
is the love You bled first

what if
chasing the dawn

is You on the heels
what if

absence is the truth of presence
and is it,

then, Enough?

Whom Do You Seek? by Julie in Germany (also on Velvet Ashes). I loved the progression and pacing of this piece and how it illuminates our misplaced desires.

I Want to be a Woman Who Sings by Diana Trautwein. This is the cry of my heart. Always.

Finding the Magic When Christmas Isn’t Perfect by Amy Medina. A beautiful missionary kid’s Christmas memoir that reminded me to treasure the Christmas memories we’re making this year, as it will be our last in the States for a long while.

 

VIDEOS AND PODCASTS

Sara Groves on the concept of Floodplain. Someone recommended Sara’s Floodplain album after I shared her “Painting Pictures of Egypt” song on last month’s Favorites. (The song itself was recommended in the comments of another blog post of mine — I love how blogging is so collaborative!) So I went and checked it out, and this short little video is worth listening to. A floodplain can be a place of loss and destruction, yes, but it’s also a fertile place of health, growth, and beauty. “Some hearts are build on the floodplain,” God whispered to Sara’s heart — and mine resounded.

Andy Stanley Starting Point sermon series. We listened to the first few in this series on our travels. It’s about doubt and finding an adult faith after our childhood faith is shattered by pain, suffering, and unanswered prayer. Really appreciated his willingness to take on this idea from the pulpit.

 

MUSIC

“No Other Gods” by David Moffitt. I first heard this song on our Sunday at Downtown Church of Christ, and it simply gripped my spirit. I had just been reading about the first commandment that week, how in Exodus the Lord doesn’t say “There are no other gods before me”; He says, “You shall have no other gods.” Because there are plenty of other gods we can serve, and He knows it, but He wants to be first in our hearts.

We will have no other gods before You
Nothing on earth will compete for Your throne
You are sov’reign I Am
And You reign in our hearts alone
We will exalt You on high forever
King of all kings
And the Lord of all lords
We will have no other gods before You

That morning we also sang “You are God alone, from before time began, You are on Your throne, You are God alone” and “You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God, You will not faint, You won’t grow weary.”

I was struck by the juxtaposition of these three songs in the service. For one thing, God IS sovereign and ancient and above all gods. The King of kings and Lord of lords. We know this to be true. We also know our hearts stray so far from this God that His very first command to His people was to have no other gods before Him.

So do I actually live like there’s no other god before Him? No other god worthy of serving? Because there are so many gods we can serve, so many gods calling out to us. Not all of them have a physical representation in an idol; ideas can be worshipped too. Success, power, control, anger, revenge, selfishness, money, sports, television, relationships, food, the Internet. So these days, I’m proclaiming the words of this song and desiring to live them, too.

“Magnificat” by Randy Gill. We sang this song at our sending church the Sunday before Christmas. This is what heaven sounds like to me.

“More than Conquerors” from Rend Collective.  “We will not bow to sin or to shame, We are defiant in your name.” Love that sentiment, and love Rend Collective’s earthy sound. (And their missionary anthem “Build Your Kingdom Here”.) (And their song “My Lighthouse.”) (And their song “Finally Free.”) (And you can read all the lyrics to this inspiring song here.)

“After the Last Tear Falls” by Andrew Peterson.  Andrew Peterson is another one of those artists who doesn’t sound like all the rest. His sound is different, his words more emotionally resonant. I love this song about God’s love. (I also love his marriage song “Dancing in the Minefields.”)

 

MOST MOVING QUOTES

Marilyn Gardner on my post “When a country is etched into your soul”:

“Our creator built into us a longing and connection to place. Look at the Incarnation – God linked to time and place through the person of Christ. So displacement, whatever form it takes, causes a certain amount of pain. We were born to belong.”

Melanie on my post “Naming the Missing Pieces of our Souls”:

“When we share Eucharist, we stand in a conflation of past, present, and future that can give us hope:  we remember Christ’s last supper, we share fellowship in the present with other believers, and we yearn for that Great Banquet in the future when there will be no more tears.”

Madeleine L’Engle from Marilyn Gardner’s post “Faith, Doubt and Ames Street”:

“A winter ago I had an after-school seminar for high-school students and in one of the early sessions Una, a brilliant fifteen-year-old, a born writer who came to Harlem from Panama five years ago, and only then discovered the conflict between races, asked me, ‘Mrs. Franklin, do you really and truly believe in God with no doubts at all?’ ‘Oh, Una, I really and truly believe in God with all kinds of doubts.’ But I base my life on this belief.”

(As an aside, I loved Marilyn’s piece so much that I encouraged her to link up with Sarah Bessey’s “I used to think ________, but now I think _______” book-launching-link-up. She did, and Sarah Bessey read it and commented on it, which I have to say, made my heart extra happy that day.)

John and Stasi Eldredge’s paraphrase of Isaiah 61:1-3 (from a chapter on wounded hearts in their book Captivating). We spoke at a CIY (Christ in Youth) training for short-term missions, and at the end the leader prayed this over us. I love it:

God has sent me on a mission.
I have some great news for you.
God has sent me to restore and release something
And that something is you.
I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.
I am furious at the Enemy who did this to you,
and I will fight against him.
Let me comfort you.
For, dear one, I will bestow beauty upon you
where you have known only devastation.
Joy, in the places of your deep sorrow.
And I will robe your heart in thankful praise
in exchange for your resignation and despair.

 

MATH & SCIENCE FUN

Hydrophobic Sand. I used to play with this stuff when I was teaching home school chemistry classes. (For the non-scientists among you, hydrophobic materials don’t dissolve in water.)

Moving Sine and Cosine image. I can’t tell you how much I love sines and cosines (and all trigonometry). This little image shows them side by side, along with the angles that create them. (This is more for the math-y among you.)

Math equations that create the letters of the word LOVE. Also for the more math-y among you, but elegant and fun.

Star Wars: A Bad Lip Reading. More science fiction than science, but hilarious, with only one inappropriate remark. You have to be choosy with Bad Lip Reading, but this was one we felt comfortable showing our kids and was especially funny because we had all watched Episode IV together the week before.

What about you, any favorites from this month??

A Few of My Favorite Things {November 2015}

/ trotters41 / 2 Comments

We packed a whole lot into this month! Here are some of the highlights. ~Elizabeth

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Watching the Kansas City Royals win the World Series with our kids. The Royals went to the World Series last year, but try as we might to stream the last game to our home in Phnom Penh, we weren’t able to view it. And then the Royals lost anyway. Not so this year! Yes, it’s true that these kinds of close-scoring games stress me out, and yes, it’s true that I went and hid in my room and blogged for most of the series (see here, here, here, and here for the evidence), but I did muster enough courage to come out of my writing cave for the last inning of the last game. Another plus: my kids got to learn the rules of baseball, which, since no one plays baseball in Cambodia, they didn’t previously know. I hope they always remember the autumn we spent in America and watched our home town team win the world series for the first time in 30 years.

Meeting other bloggers in person. In a two-week period I met four! First I met Robynn Bliss, who blogs weekly at Marilyn Gardner’s site Communicating Across Boundaries and who co-authored Expectations and Burnout, a landmark book for women serving overseas (and which I reviewed here). Then Jonathan and I hung out with Kay and Andy Bruner, who are on the leadership team with us at the collective blog A Life Overseas. Kay has written several books, the most notable of which is As Soon as I Fell, which women all over the world have fallen in love with and which I previously reviewed. Kay blogs here and has just written another book which I’ll review below in the books section. Lastly, we spent an evening with Aaron and Danielle Wheeler. Danielle launched the website Velvet Ashes as a watering hole for women serving overseas. Every single one of these people is a true kindred spirit to me, and I still can’t believe I was able to meet them all in person this fall.

Meeting old college friends. We were able to share meals with several sets of friends from our old campus ministry in Rolla, MO. Many of them we hadn’t seen in years — one couple we hadn’t seen in 8 years, another we hadn’t seen in 12. Yet with all of them, it was like no time had elapsed at all. We just picked up right where we left off, and it was a balm to my soul.

Viewing the night sky through a telescope. At the house of some of our oldest college friends, we stayed long enough into the night to see the sky through their telescope. (They live in the country and they home school, so yes, they do cool things like that.) We didn’t stay awake long enough to see some of our friends’ favorite parts of the sky, but we were able to glimpse the nearest galaxy: Andromeda. It’s just a smudge on the glass, and it was a reminder to me how very far away even our nearest galaxy is, that it’s not clear even with a telescope. We also pointed the telescope to a section of the sky that doesn’t appear very populated with stars, but because the telescope can catch their light better than our naked eyes can, we were able to see dozens of stars in the void.

Watching the moon. (Yes, seriously.) Ever since the total lunar eclipse in September, I’ve been simply fascinated, all over again, with the moon. Watching the moon grounds me. It reminds me how small I really am. I think about how big the earth under my feet is, compared to me, and I marvel. I stare at the moon and think about something that’s so far away but that still appears as big as it does in our sky. I think about how we see so much detail in its surface even though it is so far away. I get a thrill out of looking at the moon and imagining where everything is currently positioned in the plane of the solar system (similar to my musings on Jupiter earlier this year). I really cannot explain in words my sense of wonder at our plain old moon.

BOOKS

Mission Smart by David L. Frazier. This book isn’t too thick, but it has some really practical questions to consider when preparing to move overseas. They were things I hadn’t thought of before, and I hope everyone in training for moving overseas will read this book.

Debunking the Myths of Forgive-and-Forget by Kay Bruner. I was privileged to review this book pre-publication, and Kay drew applications from Jesus’ words that were extremely insightful and that I had never thought of or heard about before. In fact I need to go read it again! She also differentiated between healing and forgiveness and offered some helpful graphics on the topic.

How God Became King by N.T. Wright. I picked up this book again because at our organization’s Team Leader Summit this past month, speaker Jerry Trousdale talked a lot about the Kingdom of God. It sparked my imagination and resonated with me because of the little I’d read of Wright’s book. Then, at the end of his presentations, he recommended the book! So I knew I needed to get back to it.

 

VIDEOS AND PODCASTS

Laura Hackett Park on trusting God. I love Laura’s music and have talked about it several times before. I love her take on trust here, how it stretches without pushing and is honest without being fake. It’s gentle and grace-filled and freeing. Do yourself a favor and watch this 2-minute video.

This physical representation of the Pythagorean theorem, which states that the sum of the squares of the sides of a right triangle is equal to the square of the hypotenuse. Or you can just look at the pretty picture.

An expanding visual of the Fibonacci Spiral. I’m obsessed with the Fibonacci spiral and draw it on graph paper every chance I get. Fibonacci, golden, and other logarithmic spirals are beautiful and found many places in nature: galaxies, hurricanes, nautilus shells, pineapples, pine cones. Even apart from finding them in creation, I just can’t get over the numerical beauty of these spirals.

Andy Stanley’s N Commandments. We listened to some of his sermons on our long travels. Our kids are old enough now to really pay attention to a podcast and even to find it interesting. They really enjoyed the way Andy tells a story, and we had some good discussions afterward. I’m realizing that my kids are growing up and craving higher-level thinking about the Bible. Time to take it to the next level, I guess.

 

BLOG POSTS

Why I’m Grateful for My Anxiety by Heather Caliri. A life-giving post on how the struggles we think are so bad for us can actually guide us.

Where’s God in the Maze of Life by Katrina Ryder. Katrina strikes again with something fresh and original, which, I’ve gotta admit, is hard to come by these days. (And if you’re a writer who needs an editor, Katrina is now freelance editing. Let me know if you want her contact info.)

Same Same, Thankfully by Katie Kleinjung. I cannot tell you how much I loved this guest post on A Life Overseas. (“Same same, but different” is a common phrase in Cambodia and Thailand.) Katie is both funny and piercing.

Why Arguing with God is Not the Same as Not Believing in Him by Justin Welby. I’m so glad I read this piece. It’s ok to argue with God! It doesn’t mean you don’t believe in Him. Rather, it’s a good thing; it means you’re still talking to Him. Then Jonathan quoted Billy Graham in his sermon yesterday, and it made so much sense to me: “The Psalms teach us how to get along with God.” It’s true; sometimes I argue with God. And sometimes I have a hard time getting along with Him. I tell Him things aren’t fair; I tell Him things aren’t right. I tell Him I’m not happy with the way things are. It’s good to know I’m not alone in that, and that it’s ok to say such things to the ruler and creator of the universe.

Confessions of a Good Girl by Amy Medina. I’ve followed Amy’s blog ever since she wrote a killer emotional post for A Life Overseas earlier this year. Not only is Amy honest and truthful about a subject many of us have struggled with (grace), but she’s funny while she does it.

Joy in a Minor Key by Tanya Marlow. The phrase “joy in a minor key” is an apt description of where I’m at these days. Sometimes I feel stuck on Lament Cycle and unable to move on from it. I have a wonderful life — a wonderful husband and four wonderful children, friends I love, and work and ministry I enjoy — but I mourn a lot of things in life, both personal and public. It’s hard to hold the joy and sorrow in tension, but I’m trying to get more comfortable with it.

Good Will Come: How Life and Living Overseas Has Changed My Views on Suffering by Lisa McKay. I have not had nearly the number of bad things happen to me that Lisa has, but just the same I’ve had to grapple with the concept of suffering, and I’ve come to the same conclusions as Lisa. I’m so glad she put it into words here — comforting words that I promise will not hit you over the head with a God who wants to hurt you.

 

MUSIC

Commodity from Remedy Drive. This album is the perfect combination of longing and hope. We listened to it a lot on our travels, and it gave voice to a lot of what was going on inside me. If you ever tire of typical Contemporary Christian Music, Remedy Drive’s “Commodity” is the album for you. Do yourself a favor and get the entire album, don’t just pick a few songs here and there. You need the entire thing, and you probably needed it yesterday. You can get a taste of the music here.

Painting Pictures of Egypt by Sara Groves. When I talked about longing for the past in my most recent Velvet Ashes blog post, one of the commenters told me about this song. It.it.perfect. Every word, perfect. I love this song, and it’s going to be in my head for a good, long time. This is the chorus, but you can read the rest of the lyrics here:

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

This I Believe (The Creed) by Hillsong Worship. Even in the midst of all my complaining to God about this world He’s made, the world we broke that He has yet to completely fix, I can still fully declare my belief in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and in the Resurrection. It’s something that’s imprinted more deeply in my heart than even the Lament I sometimes get stuck in. God’s character and redemption story feels like one of the truest things I know. And I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: not many songs get my hands raised high to the sky. So when one does, I pay attention to it. I find the song usually speaks to deep, core beliefs of mine, truths I need to return to over and over again:

I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the name of Jesus

I believe in life eternal
I believe in the virgin birth
I believe in the saints’ communion
And in Your holy Church
I believe in the resurrection
When Jesus comes again
For I believe, in the name of Jesus

 

THE LORD’S PRAYER

Seven Reasons to Ban the Lord’s Prayer by Steven Croft. Although I’m not English or even Anglican, and as such am unaffected by the controversy this post describes, if you read a bit further down the page, you’ll get to his theological reasons for why the Lord’s Prayer is important in the Christian life. Beautiful.

And in that same vein, Jerry Trousdale, whom I mentioned earlier, did some teaching on the Lord’s Prayer at the Team Leader Summit. It impacted me greatly, and I furiously scribbled down the following notes. This is how he unpacked it:

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

(Our ministry should be unbranded and not for ourselves. We’ll work with others, we won’t care whose name is attached to the results, and God will get the glory. ALWAYS.)

Your kingdom come,

(Jesus is the King; we are His subjects.)

Your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven.

(It’s all about transformation, about the restoration of Eden, about bringing heaven down to earth.)

Give us this day our daily bread,

(We must depend on God for all our provision. Just like manna.)

Forgive us our debts,

(We take sin seriously.)

As we also have forgiven our debtors.

(And we take reconciliation seriously.)     

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

(This is about spiritual warfare, which he didn’t elaborate on.) 

I really latched onto Jerry’s explanation of the Lord’s Prayer as a prayer I can pray personally, but with more meaning than before. It connected the prayer I usually think of as a personal prayer to the larger world of missions, something I really appreciated.