Prayer

The Darkness Deepens

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by Elizabeth

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In church we sing

Lord reign in me, reign in your power, Over all my dreams, In my darkest hour.*

We proclaim our determination to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” even

When the darkness closes in.*

And sometimes — though less often in the modern worship era in which we now live — we sing

The darkness deepens, Lord with me abide.

I used to think phrases like these meant I could cling to God when everything around me was falling apart. I thought the darkness was outside me. I thought the prayer was for help in walking through human suffering.

Last year in my piano time, I happened anew upon the hymn Abide With Me. I was in a dark time, and it caused me to question my original understanding of this song’s meaning. I wondered if it’s not really talking about the darkness outside, but rather about the darkness inside.

Maybe it’s when the darkness rises within me that I need Him most. Maybe this hymn is a prayer for mercy when sin starts to overtake my heart. Perhaps it’s a plea for His abiding presence when my mind and heart wander from His light.

Abide with me, fast falls the even’tide.

The darkness deepens, Lord with me abide.

When other helpers fail and comforts flee,

Help of the helpless, O, abide with me.

 

I need Thy presence every passing hour.

What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?

Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?

Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

 

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;

Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.

Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?

I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

 

My mind can be a dark place. And when I’m in that dark place, I can take any Biblical truth or reality you might offer me, twist it, and spew it back at you with venom. I can fight each statement of truth with self-made lies.

Psalm 18:29 declares, “My God, you make my darkness bright.” Earlier this year I prayed, along with Common Prayer, “When I walk in darkness, Lord carry me through.” Perhaps those, too, are prayers for the darkness within, rather than the bleakness of my external circumstances.

Thankfully I’m not in a dark place now. I have been before, and I’m sure I will be again someday. When that happens, when the darkness closes in, when the darkness deepens, may I search deep within the pockets of my memory and remind myself that I triumph still, if He abides with me. When I pass through dim, cloudy days, when I feel helpless to fight the lies within, when I stumble along in a darkness of my own creation, may I call out for the Lord and beg Him to Abide.

 

*Lyrics from the songs Lord Reign in Me by Brenton Brown,

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord by Matt Redman,

and Abide With Me, by Henry F. Lyte, respectively.

How a Night Owl Woke Up to Mornings

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by Elizabeth

I have NEVER been a morning person. I have therefore never had a morning quiet time. I’ve tried afternoon, evening, and not-at-all, none of which worked long-term. About 6 months ago, something stirred inside me and I wanted more time with God.

My husband was already getting up an hour before everyone else while I stayed in bed, sometimes not even getting up in enough time to eat breakfast with the kids. (I told you I wasn’t a morning person!)

I knew I had to start small. I started with 10 minutes. Yes you read that right. 10 minutes before the kids are allowed out of bed. (Yes there is a rule about their wake time, and thankfully my kids are old enough to understand and obey it.) Even that was hard. I kept pushing back the alarm 5 or 10 minutes, and eventually got to 30 minutes with God. Yes, I would like more, and no, I haven’t been able to move it back any earlier. Yet.

Something that really helped me stick with an earlier wake time was not beating myself up if I missed a day. (That’s Grace, applied to time with God.) I know I can start again the next day. So I don’t let myself feel guilty if I miss a day. But if I miss a few days, I know I have to evaluate, because something’s off that needs tending.

And before, when I’ve tried Bible reading plans, if I missed a day, I would try to double up in order to catch up. I decided that wasn’t going to work long-term, so I don’t do catch up days. I either let myself skip, or stay behind. And I don’t let myself feel guilty if I land somewhere else in Scripture and detour from The Plan. Why should I? I’m still in God’s Word! (Yes, I used to feel guilty about detours — oh, the perfectionism that kills.)

Getting up earlier requires discipline in going to bed earlier, and let me tell you, I am STILL not great at this. I still stay up too late sometimes and have a hard time getting out of bed. My introvert self really needs quiet time with God in the morning. Ironically, when my introvert self has been “socialed out,” I’m too exhausted to get up in the morning, thereby thwarting the very healing I need. Too much social interaction interferes with my ability to hear from God, and I just have to accept that fact.

I think the surprising thing has been what has happened inside me since I made this commitment. Sometimes it doesn’t feel fruitful. But if I look back over the last several months, the fruit of peace and intimacy with God is clear to me. I’ve had lots of spiritual breakthroughs. I’ve fallen more in love with God and His Word. I’ve discovered I like reading it; it’s not just a duty anymore.

I remember taking teenagers in America to Acquire the Fire conference several years ago. Phil Joel, former bass player for the band Newsboys, was talking about dedicating his mornings to time with God. After several months of this, he remembers sitting across the breakfast table from his wife, realizing the changes God had made in him, his marriage, and his parenting, and saying, “It’s working, isn’t?”

I think that’s how I feel about my morning times with God. I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I skip and stay in bed. Sometimes I don’t get much out of it. Sometimes I read more than I pray. Sometimes I pray more than I read. Sometimes I sit and stew and worry. Other times I receive visions from God that impart deep, deep healing. All I know is that after several months of this, I have been changed, and getting up early is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

And then, recently, I came across these tips for night owls like me. I had implemented several of them myself in attempting to get up earlier and was excited to know other people thought they worked too. And I LOVE the title “Hello Mornings.” For someone who’s not a morning person, it’s hopeful and helpful to look at mornings through such a warm and friendly lens. I especially like tips #3, #4, #10, #11, and #13. I’m sharing the link in the hope it can help someone who’s struggling to get up in the morning with God.

*photo credit

A Christmas Prayer {A Life Overseas}

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Jonathan recently posted on A Life Overseas. Read the whole post here.

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“Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose,

and we have come to worship him.”

The Star of Bethlehem had a point, an important point. But the star was not the point.

The star fulfilled its role of leading across cultures and religious paradigms, down dusty roads and around a paranoid prince, to the Child. He was the Point, this Son, and he shone brighter. He, the Child-King, deserved adoration from all peoples, in all languages, for all of time.

And the Church, like the star, has a point. But the Church is not the point. Jesus is.

The star inspired a journey, away from comfort and the great “known.” So may the Church.

The star led through danger and politically dicey situations. So has the Church, historically, and so does the Church, presently.

The star challenged prejudice, inviting outsiders in. So may the Church.

The star incited worship, but not of itself. So may the Church.

As we celebrate the incarnation of Hope, 

the birth of the Lamb who was slain before the foundations of the world, 

let us pray for the Church, his glorious Bride, who waits expectantly for his return

and the restoration of all things.

Read the rest of the post here.

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The Glory of the Word of God

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by Elizabeth

~~~~~ For the word of God is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12) ~~~~~

A peculiar thing happens to me when someone lobs a Bible verse at me and lectures me on how to live my life: I feel trampled upon. I feel controlled and belittled. But when I read Scripture by myself, on my own, and happen upon some life-changing verse — even if it’s something someone else could have pointed out — then that verse is impactful and life changing.

Perhaps this is my stubbornness, my sin nature. But I also believe it’s a testament to the power of the living Word. The Text itself has the power to change us when we encounter it ourselves. I think this is why Scripture readings in church, by themselves and without any commentary at all, can be so very powerful.

When I have an encounter with God Himself, He speaks to my heart and tells me what to do. God’s Word is just so much more effective when God Himself is speaking to me, and not some angry know-it-all. Now, I’m not anti-sermon. I love good preaching and teaching. I love learning information, and I love hearing Bible commentary. What I dislike is having Bible verses thrown at me without love.

The Bible is a living, breathing text, and we were designed to sit under it. To listen, to stay awhile, to be changed. It’s why I have to read it myself. It’s why I feel so much closer to God when I do. Even if I don’t see specific changes happening yet, God’s word is active under the surface of my heart and slowly, sometimes imperceptibly, changing my attitudes over time.

I used to think prayer and Bible reading were separate (yet conjoined) endeavors. But maybe Bible reading is just listening to God talk to us. And if prayer is actually a conversation with God instead of merely my supplications, then listening to Him is one half of prayer. Which means that maybe, reading the Bible is actually . . . praying.

Could that really be prayer? Isn’t prayer when we talk to God? But nothing is separated or segregated in our life with God. I can pray while I sing, and I can worship God without song, when I stand in awe of His creation. So it’s possible that prayer and Bible reading are the same thing sometimes.

Prayer as Bible reading seems so mundane. It’s not fireworks or anything fancy. But it isn’t mundane. It’s God intersecting with the world. It’s God changing my heart – which is actually pretty miraculous if you ask me.

I think sometimes we lose the wonder of a changed heart. But the truth is, when we spend time with God, our hardened hearts can change. This is nothing short of miraculous. This is the glory of the Word of God.

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I Couldn’t Pray Out Loud

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by Elizabeth

There is almost nothing that makes me feel a part of the Body like group prayer. But I didn’t grow up in a fellowship that encouraged group prayer, especially not for girls. Prayer was a solo event led by a man, that opened and closed the service, and bookended communion.

Prayers contained the same phrases, over and over again, the same endings, over and over again. It seemed meaningless. And boring: there were the endless chain prayers at summer camp that only males were allowed to participate in.

In short, I never learned how to pray.

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