April 1, 1988

I am now 26 1/2 weeks pregnant — 13 1/2 weeks to go. I have not done too well with the waiting.

Today I read The High Cost of Growing by Joyce Landorf and here are some things she says about being in “God’s waiting room.”

[NOTE: It’s unclear whether the following entries are direct quotes from Landorf or summaries.]

Christian growth takes place during the still, quiet times of waiting.

God’s waiting room is the most tiresome and unpleasant place in our Christian experience. We sing “Have thine own way Lord. Mold me and make me after they will, while I am waiting, yielded and still.”

1. Waiting never comes easily or automatically. Our attitude toward it will determine our demise or our development.
2. The waiting process is used by God to shove us into a position of trust and dependence on him.

Perhaps there’s no way to come to a full position of trust except through the “waiting room” experience. For example, Noah, Job, Abraham, Joseph, Moses

We seem to show signs of irritability if our lives are narrowed down to a waiting room period, or a day is intellectually limited by mundane chores. Our Father knew we would need quiet, ordinary, even boring days to put our confidence and trust in him.

We must begin to see the times of waiting for what they really are: long-term growth.

Habakkuk 1:2-4 and 2:2-4.

• We have to wait in silence (not time to run here and there telling our tales of woes.) Be still and know that God is God, sovereign and sufficient for our ability to continue.
• We have to blindly trust God before we see results or successful conclusions.
• We have to understand that no matter how dark the picture, God will still be in control.

Habakkuk 3:17

God can give you contentment in your waiting room, period. Don’t be discouraged.

Philippians 1:6 is the promise to:

1. Help us to grow.
2. Help us to endure.
3. Help us to not self-destruct in times of stress.

O Lord, thank you for all these different ways of growing. Help us to learn our lessons well, for when we are obedient to you, our 1) joy knows no boundaries, 2) our love sets no limits, and 3) wisdom ever broadens.

~~~~~~~~~~

All these thoughts are very helpful to me. I am trying everyday to “wait on the Lord.” and to “be content in the state I’m in.” This is not easy for me. I am very overweight and can neither diet nor exercise.

I love to walk but it hurts my body and I fear going into early labor if I do anything too strenuous. So every time I look in the mirror it is almost with disgust.

And yet how would I feel if I weren’t pregnant? Help me to enjoy the beauty of nature as it prepares a body for a baby.

The movements of the baby are so active and are a real comfort to me. I pray for encouragement everyday. My anxiety comes and goes like the tide. It’s gone, then it’s back.

Mark is so steady in his feelings of safety and security for our family. I’m so thankful for it. I want to grow in this time of waiting… waiting for the physical pain of pregnancy to end, waiting for this special baby that God promised me. I want to be learning to BE CONTENT in this present state.

~~~~~~~~~~

Of Tulips and Death, part 1

When Your Baby Dies, part 2

“Malformed Babies” and Dust, part 3

Waiting, part 4

Still Waiting, part 5

Romans 8:28 and C.S. Lewis, part 6