A Letter to Singles {Velvet Ashes}

Jonathan’s over at Velvet Ashes today, with a letter to single ladies serving abroad…

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You are loved. Cherished, even.

Not because you were brave enough to move overseas “alone.”
Not because you ignored the caring relatives who asked, “How in the world will you find a husband over there?”

You are loved. Adored, even.

Not because you’re an independent thinker, a strong person.
Not because you’ve sacrificed.

You are loved. Anticipated, even.

Because of Him.

You are loved by the eternal God, your Harbor.
You are loved by a Dad who wraps you up in his everlasting arms.

Continue reading here.

I was fifteen once

by Jonathan

I was fifteen once, in 1996.

In 1996, Bill Clinton was president of the United States, the Olympics happened in Atlanta, Tupac died, Apple Computer purchased NeXT Computers from Steve Jobs, and my mother didn’t have cancer. My father was still alive too. It was a good year.

In 1996, I was getting to know Elizabeth Hunzinger, a super-smart, donut-hating, couscous-loving, opinion-sharing girl. It was a good year.

In 1996, I created a time-capsule. I don’t remember why I did it. But I did.

To be opened in 2016, twenty years later.

I used one of my dad’s old checkbook boxes and taped a 3×5 card on it. With electrical tape. It was fancy.

I wrote: The “desires of my heart.” ~ October 21, 1996 ~ To be opened in 2016 ~ Committed to the Lord, given to Him for His safe keeping. ~ Psalm 37:4

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I placed a piece of paper in the box. And I waited.

I started law school. I worked a temp job doing data entry. I got married, and I lugged that little box to Rolla, Missouri. We wrapped up one school and moved. The box came. We moved again, and again. We moved into a parsonage, and the box came. And then we hopped on a plane and moved to Asia. Again, the box came. And then I opened it.

And the little booger surprised me.

I was fifteen once, in 1996. Little did I know that in a year my life would be shocked with the shell of a dying mother. Cancer. Horrible, terrible, no-good, Cancer.

I didn’t know that life would change. A lot.

I didn’t know my dad would change as Cancer attacked his brain, stripping personality and neurons. And then he died.

But I was fifteen once, and I did write a list. I wrote:

Desires of My Heart ~ Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

~ To become a pilot
~ To be a husband and a father
~ To have many godly children
~ To be a missionary
~ To have a harmonious home
~ To have a loving wife who greatly loves the Lord
~ To keep myself pure for my wife
~ To be a proclaimer of Truth
~ To have many grandchildren [I told you already that Elizabeth was the smart one. I’m now    thinking my math was a bit off.]
~ To develop law skills

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Life doesn’t always turn out. Sometimes the straight and narrow doesn’t seem so straight. I know that. I know heartache and heartbreak, and deep, echoing loss

This time-capsule shocked me. To be honest, it sort of bothered me too.

But it also reminded me. He is good. He is faithful. And he is worth it.

And it got me thinking…

2036?

Why Are We Here? {A Life Overseas}

Jonathan’s over at A Life Overseas today…

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Why are we here? Why have we chosen lives that cause us to engage suffering in very raw ways? Visible ways? Why do we expose our hearts to people in pain?

Why do we use our passports for more than an occasional vacation? Why do we live in places where we sweat more than we thought possible? Places where we get diseases we can’t even spell?

We say goodbyes. Our kids say goodbyes. And sometimes we say goodbye to our kids. Why?

To give someone clean water?
Access to healthcare?
A chance at democracy?
Education?
Sustainable agriculture?
Counseling?
Economic viability?
The Bible?

Yes, of course.

But there’s more, isn’t there?

Continue reading here.

A Few of My Favorite Things {January 2016}

We transitioned back to Cambodia this month. It was so good to arrive back home and see our friends and teammates again. We put our house back together and started home school as soon as possible, leaving me tired but happy. Having our own space again allowed me more time to spend alone with God, something I desperately needed. And while I’m still not doing any substantial writing, I did want to share the words and music that shaped my month. Enjoy! ~Elizabeth

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BOOKS

Coming Clean by Seth Haines. Such a good book. This memoir chronicles the first 90 days of Seth’s sobriety, but it isn’t only for those who struggle with alcohol. It’s for people who numb their pain by any method. The core pain in Seth’s life was disappointment with (and subsequent doubt in) a God who didn’t seem to heal or answer prayer. His use of language is beautiful and poetic yet clear and understandable. You can get a glimpse of his story by listening to this interview.

Looming Transitions by Amy Young. My blogging friend Amy asked if I would read and review her upcoming book on transitions. I wasn’t able to finish it before the official book launch in January because I was, ironically enough, taking her advice to stay grounded in Christ during transition, so I chose to read my Bible instead of her book. Now that I’m resettled in Cambodia, I finally finished it, and I can tell you it’s chock full of clear and practical advice, including several helpful metaphors — the most important of which is about soil and farming. Also watch for the section on transitive and intransitive verbs that got my husband asking me what I was laughing so hard about.

 

BLOG POSTS

Where We Have Gone Sideways by Kirstin McGrath. A beautiful meditation on Eden and wanting More. Velvet Ashes had great content this month on the theme of Eden, and Kirstin’s post in particular had me pondering something new.

Get Thirsty by Patty Stallings. How to cultivate a thirst for God, and how to quench said thirst. Velvet Ashes also had awesome content on the theme of Thirsty. Incidentally, both “Eden” and “Thirsty” were based off major themes in Amber Haines’ memoir Wild in the Hollow. (And to make just one more connection here, Amber Haines and Seth Haines are married. To each other.)

Gifts without Bows: Telling and Receiving Stories as They Are by Craig Thompson. Don’t be fooled, this seemingly Christmas-themed post is applicable all year round. Do we have people with whom we can be honest, people with whom we do not need to prettily package up our stories? I do, and I pray you do, too.

The Radical Spiritual Art of Staying Put by Stephanie Ebert.  I relate to so much in this spiritual memoir, even though I’m not a missionary kid! I think everyone can relate to something in this post, as Stephanie pretty much covers the entire gamut of American Christianity in the last forty years or so, but you’ll especially relate if you’ve worked or grown up in missions or ministry.

Travel Delusions by Hsu-Ann Lee. An honest examination of the effects of international travel on our identity — and on our pride.

On How Elephants Can Escape Their Chains, and We Can Too by Anita Mathias.  How does Anita do it, manage to write my heart and my struggles, over and over again? Sometimes I really struggle with forgiving others. (I’ve also found Rachel Pieh Jones’ article on forgiveness to be helpful both in redefining what forgiveness means and also how to do it.)

 

POETRY

Thirsty by Michele Womble. Don’t miss this poem by a fellow overseas worker! I found it when she linked up with Velvet Ashes for their “Thirsty” theme.

“Petrichor” by Kathleen Brewin Lewis. I shared this as a photo last month on Facebook. I found the poem on my friend’s fridge:

Two geologists made this word from the Greek, petros for stone, and ichor, for the liquid that flows through the veins of the gods.

They wanted to name the scent of parched earth after fresh rain: The reconstituted redolence of salted silt marbled with terra cotta.

This old, dry world brought back to loamy life – another name for mercy.

 

HOME SCHOOL

The Official Teaching From Rest Book Club by Sarah Mackenzie. I would LOVE home school parents’ input on these ideas. I haven’t yet read her book Teaching from Restbut I follow her blog and Facebook page, and I’ve watched these book club videos. They are so intriguing, the ideas so attractive. Please let me know what you think about these teaching concepts! And any idea on how to implement them?? Would love to have a conversation.

Part 1: Whose Well Done Are You Working For?

Part 2: Curriculum is Not Something You Buy

Part 3: Be Who You Are!

What is Scholé? by Dr. Christopher Perrin and Sarah Mackenzie. I’m enchanted by the educational ideas in these videos. Scholé means “restful learning,” the kind of conversing and philosophizing that happens among good friends with good food and drink. It’s the kind of thing I loved as a teenager and still love as an adult. My only question — how to make this practically happen in a home school setting??

 

SONGS

“I Shall Not Want” by Audrey Assad. Ever since I heard this song at the onething 2015 conference in late December, it’s been in my head and on my lips. “I shall not want, no I shall not want, when I taste Your goodness, I shall not want.” Can’t say enough good things about this song, or her voice. This is the live version I heard.

Mercy by Amanda Cook. “You delight in showing mercy, and mercy triumphs over judgment.” I also heard this at the onething 2015 conference, and it stayed with me. At the conference Amanda said, “The only One worthy to judge delights in showing mercy.” I would do well to remember this, for both myself and others. This is the live version I heard.

I Still Believe by Kim Walker-Smith. I first fell in love with this song a couple years ago, and I heard it again on Jonathan’s phone as we were packing to come back to Cambodia. Then I heard it again on my little iPod shuffle over the Pacific. And then strangely enough, the iPod shuffled back to it again before we landed. So I thought perhaps God was trying to tune my ears to its message.

You Satisfy My Soul by Laura Hackett Park. “Thirsty” week at Velvet Ashes had me remembering this song (which beautifully complements Audrey’s song, don’t you think?).

 

QUOTES

Leslie Verner, in her Velvet Ashes post When You Feel Spiritually Dehydrated . . . Again:

“On a recent road trip, my three-year-old son cried for his water cup. I eventually took off my seatbelt as my husband drove and I craned my arm back to search for his cup. I finally found it—under his arm. Immediately following, my one-year-old daughter shrieked for her water. I found it on the floorboard, but as soon as I handed it to her she hurled it back down. And it occurred to me that these are the two ways we often approach God’s attempts to quench our soul: we either don’t notice His provision for us or we throw the spiritual nourishment back in His face because it doesn’t fit our rules for what is ‘spiritual enough.’” 

These are the first words spoken in the television show Christy, which I’ve been watching with my girls. They are beautiful (and they reminded me of my old post How Do You Write Your Name in the Land? ):

“The Great Smokies. Nothing in my life had prepared me for the wonder of those mountains. Smoke blue and serene, folded one behind the other. I counted eleven ranges rising up toward the vault of the sky. I didn’t realize it then, but from the very first moment I saw them, the mountains were a source of peace and strength to me, always there to quiet my mind and satisfy my heart.”

Also regarding place, from C.S. Lewis’s The Pilgrim’s Regress (and found in Amy Young’s book):

“Be sure it is not for nothing that the Landlord has knit our hearts so closely to time and place — to one friend rather than another and one shire more than all the land.”

Dan Scott, metallurgical engineer, as quoted in the Fall/Winter 2015 volume of Missouri S&T Magazine. I thought they applied to more than just engineering:

“In the synthetic diamond industry that I work in, we aim to build products that last. The best way to do that is to take a step back and look at the worn products. To get to the root cause of what had limited the life and see if we can either improve it or create something entirely new.”

In America I was chatting with a long-time friend who is both a fellow engineer and a fellow home school mom. We were discussing (among other things) creation, God, and atheism. I mentioned that everyone worships something; atheists just stop at the cosmos. (You know this is true if you’ve ever heard an atheist speak about the universe; they hold the cosmos in high esteem.) My friend Vicki replied thus:

“Of course! It doesn’t require anything of them.” (Which was both incredibly true and something I had never, ever thought of before.)

From fellow missionary Chris Lautsbaugh (who blogs here):

“One of my students said the other day, ‘Grace is nonsense (in a good way).’ I like this. Grace is mind blowing, it is not rational, it sounds like a scandal, but oh so amazing.”

Ravi Zacharias:

“The older you get, the harder it is to fill your heart with wonder, and only God is big enough to fill it.”

Bonhoeffer:

“Bewilderment is true comprehension.”

Gerhard Tersteegen:

“A comprehended god is no god at all.”

Augustine:

“You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they can find rest in you.”

Miss Alice in the book and television show Christy, quoting her father. A guiding light for parents:

“Before God, I’ve just one duty as a father. That is to see that thee has a happy childhood tucked under thy jacket.”

And on that note, here are some parenting notes from Allen Hood at the onething 2015 conference. I’ve mentioned in other places that I dislike parenting books and can hardly stand to crack them open, let alone finish them. Even so, God has been teaching me a lot about parenting over the past several years, and each word Allen shared resonated deeply with me, mirroring my own journey — which is why I’m sharing his advice below.

  1. Ask our heavenly Father to reveal His heart to us.
  2. Ask the Lord to turn our hearts toward our children. 
  3. Ask our children to forgive our shortcomings.
  4. Talk about porn without shame. Fight the battle together. 
  5. Record our family’s memories.
  6. Keep an unwavering commitment to our spouses.

As pertains to the state of my soul {A Life Overseas}

Elizabeth is over at A Life Overseas today . . .

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So I went to America.

Where I felt homeless. Especially at Walmart, where there are entirely too many choices. And especially at Starbucks, where you can order coffee on your smart phone; you don’t even have to stand in line.

And I felt at home. Especially at my mom’s house and with my very closest friends.

Then I came back to Cambodia.

Where I also felt at home. Especially during descent, when I looked out the airplane window to glimpse first the rice fields, and then those striking colored roofs. And I exhaled, declaring it the most beautiful sight in the world.

Then I marveled, how is this possible? How can two such different places feel like home? How can I feel at home in a place so different from my upbringing? And how can the place I grew up sometimes not feel like home?

Finish reading here.