mental-health

Do the next thing. It’s been a guiding principle in my life since I was a teenager. (Thank you, Elisabeth Elliot, for passing on the wisdom of the Poet.)

When I feel stuck, when I don’t know what to do next, when I face overwhelm or decision fatigue, these words come back to me: Do the next thing.

– What is right in front of me, today?
– What needs, whose needs, do I need to meet today?
– What is the next right thing?
(That last one arrived in my life via author and spiritual director Emily P. Freeman.)

These questions are all about being sensitive to where the Spirit is leading me in this moment. They ask me to be present to people, to pay attention to what is going on around me right now. And they have helped me out of stuck places, confused places, anxious places.

I need to think near.

But if I’m not careful, thinking near can take up all my time and brain power, which is very much reduced right now in midlife.

So I also need to think far.

I need time to contemplate. To envision the future, to imagine new paths, new projects. To let my soul settle and find that creative spark. To expand my understanding, to see with spiritual eyes. And to seek the best ways to use my limited energy.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 13:22, “The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced.”

And in Luke 21:34-36a, He warns, “Watch out! Don’t let your hearts be dulled by carousing and drunkenness, and by the worries of this life. Don’t let that day catch you unaware, like a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on the earth. Keep alert at all times.”

I know I can all too easily allow the message of grace to be crowded out by the worries of this life and so produce less fruit. I can all too easily let my heart be dulled by the worries of this life and become unable to see the bigger picture.

Taking the time to think far is the antidote to the worries of everyday life. It allows us to make long-term dreams and plans. It helps us to see the trials happening now in light of eternity and the sanctification God is forging in our life. And it gives us the sense of peace and calm to keep asking for and doing the next right thing.

So remember to think near. And remember to think far. But most of all, remember to think about the God who watches over near and far—the one who sings over us, the one who’s always with us, the one who whispers from behind and tells us the way we should go.

Hello there, and thanks for stopping by!

I’m so excited to offer individual and couples counseling in Southwest Missouri! If you’re interested in setting up a session, please visit Stone and Sky Counseling or see my listing on Psychology Today. Three-day individual and couples counseling intensives are also available.

Background
Since 2014, I have had the privilege of walking alongside hundreds of couples and individuals in dozens of countries. As a pastoral counselor, empathetic coach, Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC), and Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor (PLPC), I have experience journeying with people through issues such as grief and loss, life transitions, anxiety, ADHD, depression, trauma, OCD, abuse (spiritual, sexual, physical, emotional), debriefing, Autism, ministry burnout, addictions, and more. With all clients, I take a person-centered, trauma-informed, experiential approach.

Before moving to Cambodia in 2012, I worked bi-vocationally as an ER/trauma nurse and youth and worship pastor. I am also a licensed attorney in California and hold a master’s in clinical mental health counseling from Colorado Christian University. As a PLPC, I am supervised by Dr. Karl Wendt, LPC #001808.

For Pastors and Ministry Folks
My wife and I have been involved in local church ministry, in one form or another, since 2000. Before moving abroad, I was a youth and worship minister for about ten years. From 2012 to 2020, my family and I lived as cross-cultural missionaries in Phnom Penh Cambodia and I served the community as a pastor at an international church and as a pastoral counselor at a local counseling center, working with folks from over thirty nations.

I’ve led trainings, seminars, or coaching sessions in China, Thailand, the Czech Republic, Italy, Kyrgyzstan, Cambodia, Laos, the US, England, and Myanmar.

For Marriages
With couples, I utilize an attachment-based, emotionally-focused approach. I also greatly appreciate the evidence-based tools and resources from Dr. John Gottman. Since 2014, I’ve had the privilege of meeting with several hundred couples who were trying to overcome unhealthy patterns in their relationship, boost communication, improve their sex life, prepare for married life, and more. I am trained to administer the Prepare/Enrich relationship assessment. See the “Roadmap” I often use with couples here.

For Medical Professionals and First Responders:
It is my privilege to offer specialized care for for medical professionals and first responders. If that’s you, keep reading.

If you’re looking for a counselor who understands what a Level 1 Trauma Center feels like during a full moon; if you’re looking for a therapist who’s assisted Kansas City police officers in subduing violent patients; if you want to visit with someone who knows the unique stressors and pressures of dealing with life and death situations during a normal Tuesday, keep reading!

With a background in ER/trauma nursing, law, ministry, and counseling, I now provide individual and couples counseling at Mount Hope Christian Counseling Center in Webb City.

Visit www.stoneandskycounseling.com for more information or to book an initial session.