Kerry Trotter

We’ve Been Homsechooling! | a Mother’s Journey, part 14

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From the journals of Kerry Trotter

January 13, 1992

I can’t believe I haven’t written in 2 and 1/2 years! We’ve been homeschooling!

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January 14, 1992

Jonathan was showing Corrie pictures of Laura. Corrie said, “I was sad when Laura died.” Jonathan said, “but you weren’t born when Laura died.” Corrie said, “but I was sad with God in heaven when Laura died.”

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February 14, 1992

I’ve been going to Nutri-System for 7 weeks. I have lost 13 pounds and am grappling with all the feelings that go with being fat.

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A Mother’s Journey – table of contents

Called to Homeschool | a Mother’s Journey, part 13

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From the journals of Kerry Trotter.

September 10, 1989

We have been led by God’s Spirit to homeschool, I believe. But such criticism! Today a woman at church told me that she believed I was doing the wrong thing. I tried to say I was doing it because I knew it was what God wanted for us and not something I wanted.

She really didn’t understand. She said I was isolating my kids (ha! Gymnastics, baseball, ballet, soccer, jazz, neighborhood, church, and always extra kids at the house — yesterday, six!)

Anyways, she said Jesus always blended, and I thought, Jesus didn’t leave home and begin his ministry till he was 30!! She said our kids should learn to stand alone — I believe that!! That’s why I’m homeschooling.

I was a little surprised that someone would say I was doing the wrong thing.

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A Mother’s Journey – table of contents

Every Day is Precious | a Mother’s Journey, part 12

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From the journals of Kerry Trotter.

July, 1989

Corrie is one year old today! This has been one of the happiest years of my life. Probably it has been so sweet because it followed the saddest, hardest year of my life. I have enjoyed watching her grow with more appreciation for the miracle of life and good health.

Jonathan and Kathryn have such a zest for life and are both such robust kids and I do not take it for granted like I might have had we not had Laura. I’ve enjoyed everything about having a baby. Even the nights.

When I thought I might never get to experience the joy of holding a  newborn or rocking a baby to sleep, I ached so for the time I had wasted (or not appreciated) with Jonathan and Kathryn.

With Corrie, every day has been so precious, made so I think by the knowledge of how fast they are passing. She will never be this age again — I will never have this day again and it has made me savor this time with her.

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A Mother’s Journey: table of contents

Joy in the Morning | A Mother’s Journey, part 11

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From the journals of Kerry Trotter

July 17, 1988

“Joy came in the morning,” with the birth of Corrie Trotter.

A perfectly healthy baby girl. I felt as if the Empire State Building had been lifted off my shoulders… such relief! I stared at her immediately after birth while they were checking her and just couldn’t believe how happy I was. I really feel like I am the happiest person in the world.

Heather came to the hospital about 1:30am and spent some time with us in our room. It was such a special time. We left the hospital at about 12:15 and got home at 1pm the same day. It was great to be home. I felt like it was a dream, that I might wake up and it would be over.

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July 22, 1988

Psalm 25:17. God has freed me from my anguish, affliction and distress. I’m so happy. I feel so free. Free to walk, free to think calmly. I guess you can’t know such freedom until you’ve gone without it. It seems I had been without it for about fifteen months.

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Part 1

“A Long Wait all by Myself” | A Mother’s Journey, part 10

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From the journals of Kerry Trotter

May 10, 1988

Today I’m feeling like I have a long wait all by myself. I don’t even feel like Mark is in it with me. I also feel unattractive — very much so. It’s hard to feel OK about yourself when you feel so crummy about the way you look.

I’m just feeling so alone in these last 8 weeks to go of this pregnancy and so ugly. Maybe that means I should be concentrating on those inner qualities of beauty that are pleasing in God’s sight, a “gentle and quiet spirit.” (1 Peter 3)

Feeling physically unattractive is such a crummy feeling. And I don’t feel like there’s a thing I can do about it now. After this baby is born I am going to be doing 50 sit ups a day, walking four miles three times a week and twenty push ups. That’s the least I can do for my physical body’s sake!

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Of Tulips and Death | A Mother’s Journey, part 1